Log in
6,041 members8,426 posts

driving licence

Please can anybody advise. I am getting myself into a bit of state here. It feels like I take a step forward and 4 backwards. When things go wrong, even if only small I feel devastated. Today I managed to log onto the DVLA site at last. I notice they have started my licence from when i sent it in last year, when I have been driving since I was about 19 years. I have managed to misplace my original paper licence or at least I cannot recall where I have put it since this SAH. I am devastated that my licence will now look like if I have only just started driving when I have been a driver for over 25 years. I am so devastated and upset. Is there anything I can do. I feel everything in my life Ive known is being pulled away from me. I am beginning to wonder whats the point anymore. I know I probably sound silly and I am sorry if I have offended anyone will talking like this. I know I should just be grateful and I am, however I am so gutted and feel I this is now yet another knock back a vanishing of what was me, I know it sounds so very silly. I've lost my old life, had to retire early because of the SAH, feel my marriage is not as it was and now this, years whipped off my driving licence. I am gutted. Not sure I can take anymore of all these changes or if its even worth trying to try anymore. I am so upset by just this loss of what feels is my past identity. Sorry for being over the top. I did not know where else to turn and just thought there might be someone who could advise me or get me to get a grip. Thank you in advance

14 Replies

Hi Lann,

You are not being silly, who you are is very important to you as it is to everyone of us. I can understand thet this must feel like years are being stripped off you. Its all part of the grieving for the old you and the accepting of the new you.

I can accept the new me but i know that the real me was the one pre BI. BI is a very cruel thing when it happens to anyone, all those years of your life making you the person you were swept under the carpet.

I am lucky that i “only” have to deal with the physical issues, any changes to my personality and intellect are minor, but they are still so frustrating.

It makes me angry to know that there are so many of us living out our lives almost as recluses, because its easier that way, feeling like we are lesser people.

So dont apologise for feeling that way, you are entitled to, we try too hard at times to make it easier for others to deal with our BI, its about time we stood up and said” no, this is really what its like!””

My rant over now too.

Hope you have a good day.


Janet x

1 like

Hi Janet, thank you so very very much for your reply to me. I am so grateful to everyone, sending me such reassuring responses and kind thoughts. Its awful feeling so helpless at times and the smallest thing sets off the tear. Not getting my licence back felt like the past years/life had suddenly been stripped away, stolen, vanished. I can't thank everyone enough who took the time to respond to me, I am truly so grateful and thankful to you all. Actually I am beginning to feel special to have so many kind and thoughtful people and the end of an email. I just cannot express how soooo massively thankful I am to you all. Lana


Hiya my husband had the same thing with regards to his driving licence..he had it revoked after his bi and when he got it back the date was the date it was reissued.

It doesn't make any difference with car insurance because you've still been driving for 25 years you haven't lost that :)

Take care of yourself

Jo x


Thank you jodr for taking the time to respond to me. I really and truly appreciated it. Thanks


Lann, DVLA and previous insurance companied will have your driving records on file which will prove how long you've held a license. It looks like you're struggling badly with anxiety, which is a serious barrier to dealing with the aftermath of a SAH.

Regular periods of rest and healthy lifestyle, to achieve a positive mindset, is essential preparation for allowing our poorly brains to start working on creating those new pathways which can restore some of the lost abilities resulting from the injury.

If you're stuck in an anxious circle and unable to focus on your wellbeing then maybe you need the help of anti-anxiety and/or antidepressant medication which can be invaluable in banishing fearfulness, and allowing a clear view of the best way forward.

Please ask you GP for help with your anxiety issue. Many of us here have benefitted greatly by using medication to break the cycle of despair and exhaustion. Cat x


Thanks Cat3, I think you are right, I was stuck in an anxious circle of despair etc. I have read all the responses and I am so grateful to everyone, a big big THANK YOU to you all. Yippee I have just had the post come and have the new little pink card driving licence. It must be all connected with the passport departments because I did not send any pictures in and they have used my pictures from the passport. Now for some refresher lessons as I did not want to go out before having my licence back. Many thanks for all your help and advice it has so helped me. A big big thank you to you all

1 like

Give them a call. I'm almost sure it's just a misunderstanding and can be easily sorted over the phone


Thanks Andersl have done just that. Cheers


My licence also has a 3 year life - it has to be renewed every 3 years. So I never have a licence that is more than 3 years old and haven't done since I was 26. It makes no difference to anything that matters (insurance etc.) And in fact I even have the option to update the photo every 3 years ! Don't worry about it. That they gave it back to you is something to celebrate.


Many many thanks malatatete for your reply, Everyone who has replied has been so helpful and it has help to calm me and get some perspective. Thanks again


I’m 51 and lost my licence for 4yrs until Nov 17, after my TBI, seizures etc. An utter PITA, but got free disabled bus card & disabled train card, which I still possess. They were brilliant, enabled me to do volunteer work for National Trust & YHA over the country. After when I finished bike riding Lands End to John o’ Groats last year it took me 13hrs to get home to High Peak on trains! No big deal. I hope you can adapt yourself, and build a Plan B, should your licence not return. Good luck👍🏻


thank you DTBI for responding to me. The responses are so helpful and helps me to realise I am not alone in some of the feelings one has. Thank you again.



After my SAH I lost my licence for a year and mine came back in the which was then newer format. If you look at the new licence its renewable every so many years where the old green one took you to old age. It's just about making more money with the new version they couldn't make with the old one!!


Hi Lyndaryan1 thank you so much for taking the time to answer my query, it is very much appreciated. Thankfully I have had my licence returned and you are correct, its the new one. Oh well, Im just glad I now have it back and can start being far more independent. Thank you again. Lann62


You may also like...