29, Male, TBI victim

I'm 29 (4 years and a bit after my accident) and recently separated after 11 years so I don't know where I want to be or what I want and I'm alone in my own apartment now for a week and it's beyond mundane and empty.

I live in Cordoba, Spain now and I speak English, Spanish & German natively looking for friendship and seeing as everyone has a traumatic brain injury like me or something similar, it's a great place to find 'like-minded' people so if you're in the mood to talk to a random email me or message me through here

winter_markus@yahoo.com

I took this photo an hour ago in my kitchen area and yes, I do realise/accept I need a haircut lol

My nickname in middle school/high-school was 'baby face' which I hated at the time so my face in the photo screams child, but I'm nearly 30

****Update****

I forgot because I'm a pleb, to explain why I don't have another photo to choose from:

I'm a lifetime photo-phobia guy so this photo of me looking like a recovering addict is my first photo in at least 10 years.

35 Replies

oldest • newest

WinterMarkus

in reply to cat3

2 months ago

Hey Cat

Thanks for replying. Yeah, I can't deny it - I'm a tad lost, lonely and having to deal/cope with this freakin brain injury. I've seen much much better days, but equally, I've had far worse so I guess I should stop whinging and suck it up.

My best friend and in reality my only 'real' friend lives in Sweden (he's Swedish) so hanging with him, tearing up the streets of Stockholm lol just isn't possible anymore.

Cordoba is abou 2 1/2 hour drive from Sotogrande (near Gibraltar) where I previously, up until about 2 weeks ago lived with my chica, but my 'roots' are in Marbella and no, I don't really talk to my old "friends" because after my crap/accident I stopped all contact with my old life and people. The only one that I stayed connected to is Tobias, but as I said, he's in Stockholm, Sweden so we never see each other.

Half of my family are from and live in Madrid so I don't have anyone here in Cordoba, but post-accident I can't financially afford either Marbella or Madrid or any bigger economy city/location.

I went from £43,000 a year salary (bank) to being on a £550 a month pension from Germany (I'm a German national) so I'm not impoverished, but not exactly well off so I'm for lack of a better description - broke and stuck.

I have a hell of a lot to be grateful for though and I know that Cat. 90% of motorcycle accidents like mine result in death and even when they live they are one doing just that; living. The specialists told my wife if I do wake up, I will pretty much not recover and they wanted to arrange a transfer to a 'hospice' type setting and thankfully, after 4 and a bit months, I came out of my coma and as you most likely know, I was still 'la-la land' and after being transferred to Walkergate Park for rehabilitation I didn't feed myself at first, walk, talk, walk and even the day I left Walkergate I was still in my trusty wheelchair, but after 2-3 weeks of daily backyard walking training I finally regained my ability to walk, talk (I'm a bit of a weirdo in the sense I am 3 nationality person so my family only speak German and Spanish so I had to not learn 3 languages, but I had to reacquaint myself with them so I could speak, write and read fluidly and without pauses). I'm assuming my english is 100% at the level it has always been and hoping you're not clutching onto your Babelfish app while reading this lol

Basically Cat, I was your typical as*hole on his superbike (Ducati 848) on an English country lane doing 140+ mph when dumb di*k here hit a wet patch in the road and came flying off at very very high speed and my neck became caught on a farmers perimeter fence and my brain smashed against my skull (lights out) & over 4 months of the dedicated medical team at the RVI in Newcastle saying I might die, I didn't and now I'm here either boring you or you're expecting an authors signature at the end of all this

Roger - I feel ya man and I feel a little better after seeing your profile pic lol. My hair feels more acceptable now so thanks

Bards

I certainly hear you on what sounds similar to a fairly lengthy phase I went through. Living solo and a bit isolated with a TBI I found looking at my diary very deflating. Bugger-all in it, and my self-motivation seemed to have seriously Gone West...

One of my attempts to have a bit more purpose was to do some volunteering. Didn't exactly help with the fatigue issues, but might be worth looking at? Given your language skills (and judging from your posts your engaging personality) maybe you could look at finding some local language learning groups, immigrant support group or whatever? Just a thought. I had many of them, and while certainly not all the s**t I threw against the wall stuck, at least some seems to have... Some leading to not only more sense of achievement and social life but even (Hold The Front Page!) some paid employment! A lot of folk now even think I'm normal'

you know Elenor, in life thus far, my impression of the 'general population' may not be wholly accurate, but shows me that generally speaking most people are pretty self-absorbed so you taking your time to make me feel good about myself is really amazing so thank you

Humour-wise - if thats even a word, I got that from my dad who passed about 6 years ago. If he was awake, he was joking about something and I went through the phase basically [childhood] cringing in front of my friends while thinking "pops you aren't funny so please stop", but I sub-sequentially turned out the exact same way and I now appreciate him more than ever. Medical professionals said things like "Markus will more than likely (while looking at my brain scans) have to be moved to a special place where he can live) etc" and that was only if I survived which was not guaranteed and my partner said to them that they don't know me and if there's a way - he has the strongest will and here I am living my own life and in my own 'special place' now with this brain damage madness lol

My words won't be published in the bible and every single brain injury victim isn't going to be a devout Catholic all of a sudden to read what I'm saying to you Elenor, but for those that do come across this -- Staying as positive as you can is in some ways the most important part of your recovery and just either hold onto that truly happy thing in your life or if you don't have that yet; find something or someone that makes you smile and of course maybe refrain from latching onto that/them 24/7 resulting perhaps in a restraining order, but place yourself around that special person or thing as much as you can because liking yourself and being positive might just be that magic ingredient to a full-recovery.

You may also like...

Company

Communities

Support

Languages