Who Am I? Loss of Identity Following TBI

[Peanutbutterpie]

Hey everyone, I'm new here and just looking for some answers. I suffered a severe concussion/ mild TBI following a serious car crash three months ago. Thankfully, I'm slowly regaining health and the ability to do things. However, as I think about returning to driving and working and living a life beyond recuperation, I'm feeling a bit disorientated by my own life. I don't know what I like or want, or how I feel about things. When I talk to people I find myself asking, 'What would I normally say to this?' I used to love my job and now I can't even think of where to begin with it. I have a closet full of clothes but I don't remember how I normally dress. The people close to me say that I seem like a different person. I feel like I'm trying to step into somebody else's life, and it doesn't fit very well. I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this or has any advice... Struggling to know what to do with it all.

(Sorry if there is a similar post about this already, I can't do a lot of searching because I still can't read very well.)

[Morinagirl]

Please don't worry, give yourself time. I felt the same way but slowly things are returning. I completely lost my sense of humour for instance. I am 8 months in and still have a number of symptoms to deal with but I take each day as a challenge and a potential new beginning for each thing. I hope you feel better soon

[paxo05]

Hi there, It's seems normal to feel this way so early on in your recovery....and it is early days.

You will hear th magic " two years recovery" mentioned a lot by doctors etc. This means your recovery will stop to improve after two years. This does not mean you will not improve after this as you adapt to any long term issues.

As for now don't worry about how you are to much ( easier said than done) try to concentrate on small improvements.

It does get better honest,

Pax

[Pairofboots]

Hi peanut, what you described is felt by many. Time is a great healer, but it is surprising how much time is needed. Pax says about the magic two years, but the common phrase is "early days", how many early days are needed is individual. This is a bit like a broken leg without a plaster cast, it wobbles all over the place. People talk about mild, etc. injuries, with the brain, this is unhelpful, because it depends on exactly what part of the brain is effected, and what it is responsible for. For a time the brain may well reroute processes, forging new pathways. This means that the brain doesn't communicate very well. Things will improve. Don't try to think too far ahead at this stage. Keep in touch, this is a safe place to ask anything, to vent, or just ramble. Many of us have lived experiences. 🍀

[cat3]

Three months is so little time in terms of improvement.

We have the expressions 'The old me' in reference to our pre-Bi selves and 'The new me' for post-BI. Brain injury, unlike injuries to other organs is, to differing degrees life-changing. So it's often a matter of starting life again from scratch than simply from where we left off.

It is a struggle accepting the changes in our perception and abilities and only with the passage of time can we acknowledge and accept the 'New' us and begin to adapt.

Neither we nor the medics can know the long-term outcome ; you could bounce back within a few more months or gradually be required to make changes in lifestyle. No need to fear the latter as it's manageable .......a different but OK quality of life.

Give yourself the best chance ; eat healthily : avoid alcohol : take regular light exercise (walking's best) and drink at least a litre of water daily (best brain medication).

Your comment about stepping into someone else's life is quite apt, albeit the someone else is just a 'modified' version of yourself. Take things slowly and allow your brain to adjust without stress. 😏

See you soon... Cat x

[Peanutbutterpie]

I wish I could reply to everyone's comments individually, but for now... Thanks to everyone for your replies. I think you have been more helpful than all the medical professionals I've seen! I don't feel like I've received a lot of support since the crash. It was a rollover but I was cleared by paramedics at the scene and told to go straight to A&E with any head trauma symptoms. Two days later I'm sent home from A&E after a two-hour wait with 'anxiety'. After not improving for several weeks they refused to do a brain scan until I woke up vomiting six weeks after the crash. Initially I was told I would be back to normal after 6 weeks, then 12 weeks, so no one has mentioned 2 years! It feels more accurate, though.

I have to try to go back to work because I'm self-employed so not entitled to any sick pay unless I claim disability, but the doctor would need to have signed me off for a whole year... Feeling pretty confused about everything and wondering if I'm making the right choices when I know I can't think straight. I'm doing everything I've been told to but I'm still worried I'm not doing the right things to recover because I just feel so up and down all the time - during the day, day to day, week to week. I never know how I'm going to be or what I can do. I do have faith in God so I'm trying to trust there's a reason for it all but it's really overwhelming, especially on the bad days. Anyway, I'm glad I've found this community and hoping it will do me some good!

[Trixee]

Hey, this is totally normal as your probably still readjusting. Don’t try to be who you was, be and do what you want. Life and what you once knew will probably dramatically change whilst you’re rebuilding self. xx