What's it like to be the family. : Hi all, This isn... - Headway

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What's it like to be the family.

Solus_Spes profile image
6 Replies

Hi all,

This isn't a post where I am looking to be told to see a GP for professional help etc. I just want to know how people handled being the family during a loved ones neuro rehab. How you managed dealing with other family members, how did you get out of bed in a morning and balance work with your need to visit.

Having a weird day today where I know I want to go visiting my bf in hospital but at the same time can't get out of bed to go.

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Solus_Spes profile image
Solus_Spes
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6 Replies
Kavib profile image
Kavib

It’s harder I think for family than even the patient. My family found it so difficult to deal with the situation and the recovery. I have done a video blog on family and friends sharing below and hope this helps:

youtu.be/jyjBa-Nxvjw

Solus_Spes profile image
Solus_Spes in reply toKavib

Thankyou for this you have such a strong family unit x love and hugs x

Carolinefa profile image
Carolinefa

Hi. I think this happens to all of those close to the person in hospital at some point. It can sometimes feel like grieving for someone who is still alive. A mixture of anxiety and depression. I didnt get out of bed one day as felt the whole situation suddenly became overwhelming. Luckily my employer was understanding. Things do eventually settle down. I forced myself to work but eventually this becomes a useful distraction and gives you time away from the situation. Make sure you keep active and eat healthy. Try and do something you enjoy and things will start to feel better in time.

Solus_Spes profile image
Solus_Spes in reply toCarolinefa

Thanks for this. I have definitely been through the grieving process (due to our age I know I have grieved the possibility of not being able to have a family and other life things lost, even though we are starting to see things will not be as bad as it seems) I'm good with working that gives me the thing to get up for (practical as well as mental) it is the weekends I find the hardest as I am on my own until I go visiting x

Thankyou for your insight makes me feel I'm not alone. Xx

Flumptious profile image
Flumptious

My poor old husband had to deal with a toddler, and her eight-month-old sister (who I had still been breast-feeding!).

His journey into work on some days had to start too early and/or finish too late to drop the girls at nursery, and collect them. Luckily, my parents and his took it in turns to stay with them.

It must have been absolutely horrific - having two young girls, and a wife in a coma, and then in bed in hospital, unable to speak understandably, and unable to walk... Of course, early on, he must have been scared that I would die. Then he must have worried - would I get better? How much? Would I ever come home? Would I be able to look after the girls? Would I go back to work? I was in a rehab unit until 8 months after the accident. I wasn't earning, but the girls still went to nursery.

I always think that that time was harder for him than for me. I had people looking after me, the whole time (although I didn't understand why I needed to be in hospital, although I obviously did). He had such a scary time, with two little girls to look after (who were unhappy that their mummy was in hospital). He says that he saw me improving all the time, so he was just happy

about that. Personally, I doubt that - I was improving so slowly! He must have been worried about the money. I was in hospital for 8 months, then I was living at home, but I was still off work, for ages, and the girls carried on at nursery - more money, but I don't think he felt that I was ready to look after them, on my own.

He won't discuss it, now. "It's over. We came through it."

Solus_Spes profile image
Solus_Spes in reply toFlumptious

Thank you, he is right about the progress, to us something as simple as noticing you can see a clock on a wall as a big bit of progress and the weight you feel lift away at that is huge. Money ever more true. Thank you again for your response I can imagine it is hard for both him and your daughters, I am useless with words but I hope you have a wonderful future with your husband and daughters xx

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