Finding love

[Dynamite36]

I had a bleed on my brain and have had to overcome a lot I want to share my life with someone and make new memories but people don’t seem to look past my stick how cruel can life I think love can give you happiness

[charlieab]

You're still young and have plenty of time to meet the right person(s). Its much harder than before I know. But there will be many who see past the stick amd those who dont arent worth being with imo.

I think I had a good brain, was cheerful and entertaining, and looked OK I think (even pretty good at times). Meeting women seemed quite easy. Now my brain has gone south, and taken my happiness and humour with it, and the autoimmune conditions have given me a red blotchy face which looks like Ive been drinking non-stop for the last decade. But I guess there will be someone out there for me. II hope so anyways.

btw You're dog sounds great. What type is it?

[Dynamite36 in reply to charlieab]

The dogs a lapaarpso bella. I met Love in the rehab unit I was in she saw past my disabilities and felt my humour and big heart but with my mobility not being good I don’t get out too meet people so it’s hard but life goes on as they say

[charlieab in reply to Dynamite36]

Glad you met someone. Hospital can be a surprisngly romatic setting. I met my first gf when in hospital for meningitis as a kid (about 100 years ago now!). Is your dog the tibetan breed? The name looks similar. They seem like they would be a handy size to have in a flat. And could guard the temple if I ever build one!

cheers

R

[Dynamite36 in reply to charlieab]

I met her in hospital but lost hr.i started drinking heavily because I couldn’t get my head round what had happened to me but know I’m bag on track, I’m not sure about bella I just know her as a laparoscopic, good luck with your temple, tell when the house warming is

[charlieab in reply to Dynamite36]

I can understand the desire to drink when this stuff hits. But great that back on track. I need something to get me through, just dont know what yet. Dont want to drink as can be inflammatory and developed an autoimmune condition this year. Would be too worried that drugs would mess with my already battered brain. Im thinking that the answer will be somethng like meditation. But darned if I know how to meditate with 8 loud tinnitus noises blasting in my head. Im not even sure a 90 year old tibetan bhuddist monk could let that just drift over him. Also Im not really religious and so would have to find meditation without the religion. There again, maybe religion is what I need atm. But I guess you cant just decide to believe because you think it might make you feel better. Also my luck atm, the jostick smoke would trigger some new autoimmune condition!

Maybe finding love could help. Well, finding someone and then hoping that love quickly raises its head. Hope you find someone soon. laparscopic sounds a bit like one of the tests I had at the ENT! I did phone up cat charity (after reading post on Headway site) and have put my name down to foster an old cat. Apparently, its the old ones which they find it hard to rehome.

Will let you know about flat warming party for sure. Take it easy.

R

[Dynamite36 in reply to charlieab]

Getting a pet sound a good idea,what about a college course it gets me out and pushes me mentally,meet new people and something to get your teeth and maybe a new interest depending on what your doing, keep going

[lcd8]

Please don't give up hope on the lovelife front. You will find someone understanding enough to see past the stick eventually.

[spideyman]

Tell me about it.

On dating sites women say they want honesty but i mention a brain haemorrhage and they picture someone sat dribbling in a wheelchair.

Im not in a wheelchair and dont dribble (i drool when i see a gorgeous woman).

Seems women only want the honesty thats beneficial to them

[deborah27 in reply to spideyman]

oh dear, slight generalization there lol...I have had same thoughts about men! do you consider dating women with brain injury? maybe what you are looking for is right under your nose and not on some random dating site.

[Dynamite36 in reply to deborah27]

I do consider anybody you learn after when something’s happened it’s what’s inside that counts,x

[spideyman in reply to deborah27]

EVERY woman I’ve met on a dating site has told me they’re not like the rest so I tell them and EVERY woman I’ve met on a dating site has proved to be just like the rest so it’s not a slight generalisation. It’s an observation

[Dynamite36 in reply to spideyman]

It can be a cruel world but I guess you know this,I suppose if it was easy we’d alll moan about that,lol

[Dynamite36 in reply to spideyman]

I didn’t put about what had happened as you say it frightens people of iI found just letting them know you get your personality after all it’s whats inside that counts,good lookin your search I know it’s hard

[charlieab in reply to spideyman]

I went on a dating site before getting ill and it was a struggle even then. I met a few women but I dropped some and some dropped me. Ended up meeting my second wife (at a uni meeting) about a week after I unsubscribed from the dating site! Then I got ill and she left me. But she was a nurse and maybe didnt want illness at home and at work. tbh I think its shattered confidence which is making it hard for me to meet someone. Or to do anything. I reckon you got to keep at it, going places, asking people out, having fun, and eventually will meet someone who is ok about your brain haemorrhage.

[Dynamite36 in reply to charlieab]

I think your confidence will grow with time as you grow as a person and think the more you want it the harder it is on you, I’ve signed off the dating site and just generally just given up,think what will happen will happen and you’ve got more chance of meeting someone in general life

[moo196 in reply to Dynamite36]

Funny, but I too haven't had a date since my BI.... Maybe we should start a special section of headway for dating!?

☺️☺️

[Hidden]

When I apply for new jobs I never ever disclosed I was a TBI survivor and and epileptic. Nor did I disclose I have spatial awareness problems. To do so is as good as not bothering to fill in the application form ..... you won't have any consideration beyond HR's image of a drooling idiot falling to the floor in rigour whilst frothing at the mouth, biting your tongue and finishing off by wetting yourself. That is the short-mindedness that surrounds us.

I never disclosed and I've never been asked. My fits are just blank moments and my mental capacity is as good as anyone elses.'

So ..... take a girl out, have a good time and when the time is right just mention the matter 'out of hand.' If she's seen you at your best she won't be bothered. If she is ..... look for someone else.

[keeley24]

I would love to meet someone for relationship, but this last few month I’ve not been as bothered. I have joined a BI group that is taking some days up and I’m meeting new people. I do actually like the man who set the group up but he has a partner. I am just starting to do some fitness with him which I’m looking forward to. A few at the group know I like him tho I don’t think he does. I’m just focusing on going there enjoying it and getting on with everyone. I’m curious to know what he would say if he knew but I’m not risking making things awkward between us.

Last week the woman who runs group told me the man has never spent time with anyone one to one like he has me so I’m like determined not to let him down.