Headway
5,824 members8,186 posts

No Driving Licence = No Love Life

Ive now come to the conclusion i dont have a love life cos i dont drive.

I was granted a pass by my GP as i never felt safe driving a car. Never passed my test.

Why would i pay for a car and pay for tax, test, petrol etc?

Just so she can can have a free taxi service.

Before you all start im not a misogynist and dont tar all women with the same brush

29 Replies
oldestnewest

Tart? Excuse me your comment is very offensive. Apology is now required to all the women who use this site and the men who have respect for women.

3 likes
Reply

Im sorry as i was sounding off and my post has now been changed

2 likes
Reply

Do you know what mysogyny means?

Clearly not, moron

Reply

How dare you call me a tart when you don’t even know me? If you’d had read my post properly then you would have realised I never meant everyone so I think it’s up to you to apologise to me or are you a keyboard warrior who makes rude comments to everyone cos you have a huge chip on your shoulder and are therefore bitter?

Reply

Not surprised you don't have a love life if that is what you think about women!!!!

5 likes
Reply

First things first: that attitude towards women is not cool and will not win you any friends (or girlfriends).

Giving you the benefit of the doubt you are displaying uninhibited behaviour, a common side effect of head injuries, but you need to keep a lid on disrespectful attitudes or you will run into problems.

Second things second: unless you live in the outback a driving licence or lack thereof probably has little to do with your love life. I do not drive for similar reasons to you but my wife (who was my friend before she became anything else, in part because I showed her respect) lived 30 miles away from me when we first met: she drove to see me and I got the train to see her. Not having a driving licence is not insurmountable.

A couple of things to think about:

1. What kind of a girl would you like as a girlfriend? Kind? Caring? Compassionate? Forgiving? Cultivate personality traits you would like in a partner and you will be more likely to attract that kind of woman when you go out and socialise.

2. I was a long time without a girlfriend. I have always struggled making friends since my accident. What are the boundaries when I meet someone new? I don't possess an innate sense of them, so almost always I just don't talk to anyone at all. My suggestion is that if you're struggling to understand why you don't have a girlfriend, there's a pretty good chance you are failing to understand what makes people (including any potential girlfriends) tick. There may be SOME women who would only want a boyfriend with a car, but the vast majority probably wouldn't care if they met someone attractive, whose company they enjoyed and who made them feel good about themselves.

A silver bullet would be wonderful, and I felt for a long time that a silver bullet was the answer (if I was richer, more handsome, a footballer, more interesting, then she'd be interested). But it wasn't.

Listen I don't have the answers, I wish I did, but the answer almost certainly does not lie in something you prefer to avoid (unless the thing you prefer to avoid is talking other people). People will make all sorts of allowances for the right person

6 likes
Reply

Please dont think i dont respect women. Im not a hater of women.

Im merely stating that most (not all) only go out with a guy cos he has a car.

As for socialising. I dont

Reply

Most girls only go out with a guy because he has a car ???

Really ????

Nonsense!

5 likes
Reply

Men care about cars women generally not at all, now shoes oh my goodness!

The answer lies somewhere else.

For reference I spend most of my life around women be that my wife/family or the young women at work who I'm "work dad/uncle" when they are talking about men lots of things come up, car isn't mentioned, Job/collage is he tall etc yes.

1 like
Reply

A hell of a lot of stereotyping going on....women and shoes?? men and cars???

PLeaseeeeeeeeeee???????? i think you forgot the pink ALL women love and the football ALL men love :)))

Reply

In my experience young women at least are quite into football, stereotypes tend to stick for a reason, women do seem to have a thing for shoes, that not to say that men can’t but it’s generally more women, clearly things change women my age who like football are common, while for younger women it’s common it’s no longer a male only interest.

Reply

Clearly things need to change if women have to be excited by shoes and men have to excited by cars :)

We're all people, all different , and some folks share an interest in same thing.... some are women, some are men....lets keep the stereotyping where it belongs please my good people ....in the dark ages.... :)

Reply

No one has said you have to, but equally it’s fairly evident that the sexes do have different interests, walk around an shopping mall in half term and it’s full of teenagers but girls, and equally on way back as you pass the skate park it’s full of teens but boys.

There are stereotypes in life, the rehab team I saw was 100% white young women, be that the Physio’s to OT and so on, walk around the hospital on one of the OT’s tests or just to get a coffee and it’s clear that the main hospital is not just staffed by young white women, the why folks have chosen or felt they should make choice due to gender/race etc isn’t always that simple to winkle out.

Reply

Yeah but doesn't make it right? and it's not set in stone....

Reply

I respect women & have a skateboard...

Not that I have Any company outside work.

4 likes
Reply

Thank you Spideyman. I appreciate your response. Kindest Regards Clare

Reply

Have no fear spideyman! I got my girlfriend after my stroke (and lost my drivers license because of it) so there's still hope! :)

1 like
Reply

Hmmmmm

A lot of us women have our own transport and are very independent!

I'm not sure that the reason for no gf has anything to do with cars....

Reply

Maybe its just cos im ugly

Reply

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - to a lady looking for a kind, caring, compassionate person, looks would be of less importance than these qualities. Whilst there are some people out there for whom looks/wealth/material things are priority, there are many more people looking for a deeper relationship based on mutual respect, trust and loyalty that fulfills their emotional and spiritual needs. Sometimes we find our soulmate, sometimes not. Sometimes we find them only to have them taken away again by circumstances beyond our control.

1 like
Reply

A driving licence doesn't dictate if you should have a love life nor should it dictate why someone should date you.

Im slightly confused if you never passed your test why would you get a car ect and why would she think you could drive plus there are lots of women out there would be date you for other reasons, I never had a car and I has a love life for years plus there are other means of transport such as trains and buses

Reply

When did i say i had a car?

Reply

I can drive despite my BI at 14 many moons ago, so according to you I shouldn't be single, yet I am. There can be many reasons for relationships to falter some in our control and some out of our control. It might seem trite but try to focus on changing the things in your control and even when you've addressed them and you're still single maybe you were right all along.

Reply

Im sure that if i won the lottery id become Mr Studmuffin (but then again women also claim theyre not after money)

Reply

Spidey Spidey Spidey, that may be true but unless you're looking for superficial company, it still wouldn't get you what you really want (see my comments about a silver bullet above).

I think you're running the risk of giving an incorrect impression of yourself here (and possibly violating community standards) so how about you metaphorically sleep it off and come back when you're not feeling so belligerent? We all have bad days mate, heck I have had bad years and even a bad decade, but I urge you to think well of others...give them the benefit of the doubt. If you think beautiful thoughts sooner or later someone will recognise the splendour in you, but they'll have a hard time spotting it if it's submerged in vitriol x

3 likes
Reply

I feel I have no life because I cannot drive. I do not have the freedem to go where I want when I want. Only if I ask someone which I have never enjoyed if I wanted to do something. I did it, cannot do that any more.

Reply

Obviously many women drive and are kind and considerate, like many men.

If you combine a TBI with isolation the outcome tends not to be good and this could well be why your so frustrated and feeling like you won't meet the right one.

I've not been able to drive, due to epilepsy, since 2004 and it does restrict some social events but it's not the end of the world.

I suspect you're in a bad place at the moment but stay strong and try to have the courage to get out there. Perhaps find a local group where you can socialise, photography etc.

I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone who thought I'm less worthy because I don't have car, so don't wish for something bad.

One last thing I infrequently say things I would never have said before and people say don't and I say I wouldn't if I had a choice. When you in a better place you'll probably see why you've upset some people. Writing that reminds me of some instances that make me cringe but it's better to become aware and try your best.

Good luck

Reply

I fully understand. I have a license but I do not drive. It is quite wrong that we do not have a proper public bus service in the UK. Jeremy Corbyn asked the right questions yesterday. We really need public transport as I cannot focus on the road. It would be dangerous for me to drive so I would like to talk about this with a professional neuropsychologist but it was impossible even for me to register with a GP in Bournemouth as my wife was in the Philippines and the receptionist said I should come back with my wife. In other words GPs so love money they do not want to take on patients with TBI in fact.

Reply

There are good and bad women same as there are good and bad men. Some people who don’t drive may want to use a partner as a free taxi that applies to both men and women who don’t drive not just one. Of course if you won lottery you may get people wanting to be friends or date you for money but that could also be same other way round a woman wins lottery and men wanting to date her for money. There is no one good or bad thing that all men do or all women do.

Not going out to socialise is likely a key reason you are single. Think about it if you don’t meet people how can you find someone for a relationship?

1 like
Reply

You may also like...