Yesterday I Posted my first post about my husbands bi. After my post I got a call from the hospital! My husband was asking the nurse to call as he wants to see his wife and kids! I was over the moon at this and agreed I would take them the next day!
So this morning I woke up feeling quite positive and had a spring in my step, I hadn’t felt this happy since before his accident!
My boys are 7 year old and identical twins, Jesse has cerebral palsy and it’s quite severe. He is unable to walk,talk, feed himself and is also registered blind. My husband has always been Jesses main carer, bathing him, dressing him, taking him to the school bus.
Anyway I’m getting off track slightly here but I went to make a brew this morning (boys were awake as they sleep with me) and I came in to find Jesse having a seizure it’s only the 3rd one in 7 years! I had to act quickly phoning ambulance give him his medication to get him out of the seizure (which I have never had to use before because he’s only ever had two) and then I had to get hold of my sister to go to hospital with Jesse as I needed to drive his adapted vechicle over to bring him back!
I never did get to take the boys to see their daddy and now I’m feeling so guilty! I feel like I’m going 1 step forward 2 steps back! I’m trying so hard to look after my boys, visit my husband and try and be strong but I feel I’m at breaking point! I’m forcing myself to eat as I lost over a stone in the first 2 weeks.
I feel utter rubbish tonight! Going from a high 24 hours ago! It’s like I’m fighting a losing battle.
I haven’t seen my husband since Monday and today would have been great to take the children. He’s still in PTA stage but I think it would have done all of us good being together as a family.