Day 8

Hi everyone, its day 8 and today is the first time a doctor has sat down and told me of the implications of my partners brain injury. My world just fell apart i'm lost completely lost he's the one who looks after me, he's the strong one not me. my life will never be the same again will it and il never see the man i loved again will i? il never be able to tell him the thing i should have or even tell him goodbye. No matter how hard i beg or wish this isnt going to go away is it? What am i going to do?

6 Replies

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  • As a TBI survivor for 50 years; although the news is probably catastrophic you must treat each day as it comes and adjust your approach to it.

    Things do eventually change for the better in tiny and sometimes very suprising ways.

    Good Luck.

  • Oh how much we all understand what you must be feeling at this moment. It is dreadful knowing that your life will change so completely in such a short time. Although it is over 28 years since my husbands bi, I can remember it all as thought it were yesterday.

    Firstly, don't despair. If you read the blogs on here you will hear of remarkable recoveries. 8 days is nothing in the repair of a brain. No, he will never be exactly the person he was before and your life is going to change but you will still have a life together, just not the one you expected. You will be amazed at the strength you are going to find to help you both through this.

    Many people here have found it was so helpful to keep a daily diary, noting all improvements, things the doctors say and so on. Reading back on it you will discover that things were getting better, even if you didn't notice it. Also it might remind you of questions you want answered, things you want to check.

    Don't give up, be strong for him. Come on this site and scream, shout, whatever it takes to give you the strength to go back to him calmly. We are all here for you whenever you need us.

    Sending you lots of love and good wishes

    Jan x

  • Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. I am 10 months on from my husbands BI and understand your feelings.

    You are stronger than you know and it is possible to move forward, not quite as beforebut you can find a new kind of normal. Jan is right, this forum is a great place to let off stream and ask for help. You can help yourself by telling family to read the information on the Headway site so they also understand. If your local NHS offer a therapy service then make contact with them. There is also Carers UK. Where we live we do have support for carers. I do still have my husband, just for less of the day, sometimes he's not the same person he was but that's ok. With regard to our marriage, it is different and I can see now that I went through the stages of grief over the loss of the marriage I thought I had, some days it's still anger but I have more acceptance days so don't be surprised if that is what you experience too. A few good friends have been enormously sympathetic and it is evenings out with them and walking my dog every day that have kept me going. You will be ok but for now take it all one day at a time and ask for help, you don't have to do this on your own x

  • At only eight days, it would be difficult for a doctor to predict the outcome of a brain injury. i have an aneurysm, I was told five years ago, if it ruptured it would be catastrophic, I had surgery to protect it and got on with life. Last year it was found my aneurysm was growing needless to say I was worried, while waiting to see what could be done it ruptured and I had a subarachnoid haemorrhage in January this year, even then doctors were predicting a long recovery and probable disability, the outlook was bleak. I know this is probably different to your partners but I'm just saying don't lose hope, I have fully recovered memory not brilliant and balance affected when I'm tired, but am hoping to go back to work soon, I hope the future is not as bleak as you've been told, and your partner makes a good recovery Alice xx

  • So sorry to hear this, but as others are saying, 8 days is early days. Don't give up hope. Keep a diary and if it helps you, you can call headway or read some of their free booklets which you can download from this website. Also, you might like drdiane.com and she has a book on brain injury and post concussion syndrome. I'm not sure it will cover your partner's situation. Moving forward, you can look at Tina M Sullivan, Nourish Your Noggin about the foods, herbs and diets which can help your partner. It's early days to be doing this but there are all sorts of ways you might be able to help him. You are not alone. Headway and forum members are here for you.

    I hope he improves soon.

    xxx

  • Oh, one booklet you will find helpful is Caring For Someone with a Brain injury. Headway are also there to advise carers about practical things like entitlement to financial support and where to find a headway group locally. They will tell you about services you can get from occupational therapists as well.

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