Hi

[Myfamily11992288]

my son had had an accident a few years ago he was 8 he is 10 now... why am I only just finding life so difficult now?

[Hidden]

Hi - in what way are you finding life so difficult now? Is it that your son has brain damage and that you thought he would recover more and now realise that this is how it will be in the future = or is it that when it happened you were so bound up with what was happening that you didn't have time to think about the accident. Maybe now, if things are more settled, your fear and grief are having time to show themselves?

Whichever it is, why not give Headway and ring and chat with one of them there. I am sure you will find that, whatever is causing it to be difficult for you, they have heard it before and will know some coping mechanisms for you.

Best of luck

Jan

[cat3]

Please tell us more m'dear. What's the nature of your boy's injury and how did he sustain it ?

As Jan has mentioned, are you experiencing disappointment at your son's lack of progress ? x

[Kirk5w7]

Hi my family.

It is probably because now your sons hormones are probably beginning to kick in so some behavioural issues may just be surfacing, or perhaps he is not progressing as fast as his peers. Some brain injuries are very subtle and can be difficult to detect.

We are not qualified clinicians and can only share our experiences, the advice you have been given is spot on. I would just add that I feel a professional who deals with brain injury in children would be beneficial, your GP can arrange a referral or Headway can help with contact details for organisations should you wish it.

Keep us in the loop, we are here to provide support whenever you require it.

Janet xx

[Gaia_rising]

Hello, and welcome.

I agree with Cat and Janet, that Headway will be able to offer guidance, also that all children change between 8 and 10, with or without brain injuries. I'm the owner of some brain injuries, and probably on a similar time-line to your son, from personal experience, I tried to 'keep moving' straight after my discharge from hospital, tried for the business-as-usual approach. 22 months later, I'm flat on my posterior, after a combination of the cumulative effects of living with brain injuries, and some new neuro-weird symptoms.

We, as brain injured individuals, aren't always on a straight trajectory, I personally appeared to make a near-miraculous recovery, which caused mixed reactions in those around me. As a mother myself, I 'had to' keep facing forwards, and getting on with it, the momentum of 'beating it' kept me going, like a ginger steam-train, for about 18 months, now I appear to be stuck at relapse-station. There's nothing 'structurally' wrong with me, no physical change to the brain injuries, or the remaining inoperable aneurysm, I'm reasoning that the psychological exhaustion of the near-miss of the haemorrhage, and the massive adaptations I've had to make are just catching up with me. Possibly the same for you?

We're here on the forum if you want to talk, or just vent your frustrations. There isn't really a 'normal' when it comes to brain injuries, we're all different, but we'll all have anecdotes or strategies in common. I can't guarantee you'll find the 'missing link' on here, but we're open, honest, and non-judgemental. Caring for someone with a brain injury can be a thankless task, you deserve support, and there are people on this forum who will certainly empathise with what you're experiencing.

[Myfamily11992288]

He had a near drowning..spent 2 weeks in a induced coma, we are very lucky he is still here. My son was with a family at the time and I was at the movies when I got the call.he has some frontal lobe damage because of his accident. I find myself worrying about him and everylittle thing in my life from the second I wake up..I think about what happened everyday.

[MXman in reply to Myfamily11992288]

Morning My family, May be an idea to get some help from headway. Even just to talk to them on how you are feeling. Im sure they can point you in the right direction. Nick Xx

[StrawberryCream]

Are you aware or in contact with the Child Brain Injury Trust childbraininjurytrust.org.uk if not I would suggest you take a look at their website and ring the helpline. It is difficult to know whether your sons brain injury is causing him to struggle more, or if it is the behaviour that many 10 yr olds start to exhibit, or most likely a combination of the two. At 10yrs they do become more self opinionated, uncooperative, verbally challenging and expressive through strops and behaviours. I have a 10yr old and I am now finding his behaviour very difficult and at times more than I can manage. I am the one with a brain injury though.

[Hidden]

Hi again, If you contact 'Care for the Carers' they can arrange counselling for you or Headway can arrange it. It would probably be very helpful for you to learn how to let go of what happened and face the future feeling stronger. I used to think about how my husband got his brain injury constantly and all the 'what ifs......' but counselling has helped enormously to put it into context. We cannot change what has happened and dwelling on it makes it very hard to move on. If you can have counselling, you will learn how to cope much more easily. Do keep in touch here too, we are all going through the same things and having someone to chat to helps a lot even if all our experiences are different.

Do try and get some help for your sake and that of your family. Life can be good after a bi, it is just a different sort of life.

Lots of luck to you all.

Jan