It happened again

I went back to change trousers for shorts because and I heard my mums friend talking badly about me the woman who is known for my existence in the same tone.

The whole day has been dealing with the feelings of that (I'm not allowed or welcomed or feel comfortable to stay at home so I spend the light hours outside, mostly thinking).

I think I've had it with the uk yet again (the smarmy doctor, this morning, reminded me that I'd be charged for using nhs services if I didn't plan to stay in the country! I don't even get the dole! Its becoming more and more unbearable 😢)

Denmark seems a good place idea. Today.

20 Replies

  • i think you need psychiatric help

  • Haha. I wish. If only. The people here make mefeel lonely!

    I've asked for that many times. Probably have to say something crazy to get it or change gp surgery maybe.

    I think I'll just leave and live in a place with nice people❤

  • The Danes are generally quite nice people with a dry sense of humour much like the Dutch.

    However, much like the sun the problems will still follow you no matter what country you go to.

    If you want to live independently, I would try it first here in the UK. If it was me, I contact the Council Adult services or your local MIND both of whom have lots of experience and knowledge in finding suitable accommodation and services.

  • Thank you but I think the uk is selling itself, or has, sold itself to hell. I know it will be tough but I'm really not sure what I would do her. There are such big probkems in British society, especially in England and the way it's governed is stupid, outdated, corrupt and selfish. Doing counseling training appeals but I can start that online.

    I really appreciate your advice and am considering it.

  • Luke, have you been in touch with Headway - they might be able to talk things through with you and help you decide on your next best course of action. Going it alone abroad is a big step when you are already dealing with a brain injury. x

  • Yes I have. It was only me and the bloke who runs it there on Tuesday! I've called the helpline a few times they're nice but ultimately it's my choice. Probably havent found, decided and committed to something.

    Abroad alone is something I've done many times before, not really made it work but it's fun and with Britain brexiting what money I have looses a lot of value if I change it into pounds.

    I'm also under pressure from others to perform. It's all too much when I think about it! But today I'm feeling better. My mum made an effort today and so did I. It won't stay like this and I know I need a place to live, a way to sustain that and something to do...

    My brother returns tomorrow that should/might/would be nice if it gives me some breathing space.

    Thanks for replying❤️

  • Luke I must admit I find your posts somewhat confusing. I don't really know your circumstances and I am never sure if you are serious or joking about some of the things you post when there often seems an equal mix of slightly paranoid and overly optimistic ....but that could just be how I am reading it of course.

    If I thought you were serious I might be a little concerned about the constant posts about wanting to live overseas when the possible destinations for resettlement are as varied and different as they possibly could be and change daily just all seems so unrealistic and for someone with a BI to simply up sticks and go overseas on a whim with no real plan and no means of support is a bit scary...

    Life with a BI can be tough and if living a fantasy world is what gets you through and it works for you then what the heck, its your life... at the end of the day you will do what you do. I just hope you are safe in whatever you decide.

  • Thanks. Yeah it's annoying for me. Maybe it's the stress of being with the parents but I think I've always felt like this, just got worse after car crash.

    Maybe I shouldn't put on a forum? Well it is a forum and these are my probkems. Samaritans are slow getting back to me, now...I'm in th waiting list. Friends...yeah ok to good but not always available. China! Parents...don't really speak!

    Guess I got a lot of energy. I like to use it constructively and writing here seems good. Just get a bit worried about replies.

    I probably don't see sense. As for living in a fantasy world I have lived it. I've travelled more than most, lived, loved and almost died doing it. Now I message because I'm a bit older and realize to just take off isn't sustainable. Before I did that!

    Thanks for replying.

  • I only joke on the rhymes and maybe some other things to cheer things up.

  • Like others, my hunch is the problems will follow you where you, go though even with out a brain injury living with parents as an adult isn't easy for most.

    I think I'd be careful about big impulsive choices, I also think some imput from someone like your local headway might be very useful to you.

  • Thanks Roger

    Good words.

    Living with parents...yes😞


    Headway...meeting this week,had a chat,got one contact.not contacted yet.

    Dreams do happen but impulsive stuff is short. To plan is real tough for me but I'm starting to feel I can. Maybe not found the right thing yet.

    Thanks again

  • Hi there Luke mate, Jules here.

    Things wont get fixed in your life if you keep resolving issues by making plans to run, honest. By the looks of your picture I am a lot older than you (I am an old croc now !) an honest I resolved issued when I was younger in exactly the same way - but its like going on holiday - its not real.

    You have 2 options, keep running and you will keep feeling the way you do, or if life really is that bad in the UK then take charge and fix it.

    I am a strong believer that there is a solution to most problems and when you take charge of your life and make plans to improve it, rather than run away - the feeling is empowering.

    write down just with bullet points what the problems are, limit it to the biggest, say 10 at the most then with each, think how you would tell someone else it was possible to change it .

    Your biggest problems seem to be at home an family and friends of family maybe. You need your own place mate. I remember the morning I woke up in my first ever place I was to call home - I had no idea how I was going to make things work, but I had my base. My life became mine then. Good feeling. I think I was only 18 years old.

    Why cant you look for a flat Luke ? Is it money ? Or something deeper you haven't discussed ? Because this forum is the place to do it. You are surrounded by people who have experienced where you are and what you are feeling and others at Headway who are qualified and experienced in helping people with problems.

    You have so much to look forward to in life Luke, but at the moment you don't seem to be starting on that road.

    With best of intentions Luke

    Kind regards



  • Hi Jules, thank you darling

    I'm starting to feel something more. This morning my kind cousin kindly offered I can visit him and stay for a week❤️A lifeline, something different. I can't do it all on my own. My gf in China is a consideration as well!

    I ask so talked to Samaritan and the same conclusion you are saying about came out.

    The U.K. does bother me but I could be making excuses.maybe not. I fing hated it being bullied as a kid and young teenager. That never got settled either!😱!😱But I talked to myself about this before. Can't afford counseling and the wait is long which got me onto the idea of helping and becoming a counselor but I need help myself as well! This is counseling here but I feel that when I post things it's not always welcomed, accepted or makes me feel comfortable!😞

    Following fun is good. My brother got back home todsy😊I shouldn't have come bad here when it's just the parents!

    Maybe my gf will do something...

    Thank you X

  • Hi Luke, Jules again

    Just to say, chill out mate - you are reading into things too much sometimes. I think thats normal when things are not so happy at home.

    When you post things here you cant see peoples face expressions and its rasy to think people mean ssomething when they dont.

    Everyone here that replies to you has taken that little bit of their time to speak to you - they all speak with good intentions.

    Sometimes people (including you) (and me a lot !) come here to chat about some difficult complicated delicate matters. Sometimes its the only place we will discuss them with others, and everyone who cares enough to chat to you has big problems themselves. People sometimes write posts which are full of care, support and advice, but if we are in a mood with ourselves, feeling threatened at the time, we read it the wrong way.

    Long story short - rubbish Luke, they all love yah mate .... STOP IT ! and relax.



  • Thanks,yeah.

    Sitting outside with family I feel distant.thats head injury.thing is some people are better for me.thats thing,it's good to loose my mind(not think too much)😉😊

    Guess I'm just waiting for the right opportunity.

    Thanks for your time X

    Do you enjoy a glas of wine?

    Uh oh, here comes the rhyme!...haha

    Ciao x

  • Hi Luke,

    Just been reading through the replies here and I couldn't agree n=more with all of them. Write down your problems and read the aloud. Don't analyse it all to much and I'm sure it will pass. Your problems will still be with you if you move to tim-buck-too so try and deal with them now. Do take care and try and have a peaceful evening. Nick

  • 👍👍👍thank you sir.the moon it is 😂 definitely chill tonight 😊 chill Winston 😂😉😊

  • Hi Luke,

    Many people decide to study counselling training having attended therapy themselves, it's a positive ideal to be able to help others in crisis or need. Before you sign up to any course, be mindful of what the training involves. You need to be strong enough to deal with whatever the process may stir up for you. Lots of soul searching & self analysis required which is mentally taxing & can negatively hinder physical energy levels, even more so with brain injury. Be aware the work load & commitment required may be more than you can cope with currently.

    Why not have a look at some of the books used on some level one courses, these could offer you a flavour of what to expect.

    First Steps In Counselling by Pete Sanders

    Teach Yourself Counselling by Aileen Milne

    Best wishes

    CC xx

  • Thank you CC

    I feel that fate has stepped in because whilst trawling for courses this morning nothing was coming up then this afternoon a friend recommended a job he'd found abroad (I'm not sure what will come of that but I applied).

    There are no accredited counseling courses near me and in truth it doesn't help me get out of living with the parents, give me money and very well may not be the right thug for me (it's me that needs the counseling but with waiting on national health services I thought I'd so something to help the country! Too big an idea but that's me).

    It has also crossed my mind that counseling way we'll be out of my depth but I hope I can help people someday.

    I thank you kindly for your thoughtful response and leave you with notion that fate has stepped in (maybe it's practicality😄But it's nice to feel that the right thing has happened and that I feel happy.

    Bless you,

    Luke X

  • Hi Luke,

    Good luck with your application. Perhaps fate has intervened for a reason, but that isn't to say that counselling won't be for you in the future. A member of staff at Headway once told me that a counsellor with personal experience of bi (rather than just theory learning) would be worth their weight in gold to others with bi. Empathy & a willingness to help others can't be taught, it's an innate desire from the heart, a calling I suppose. You obviously want to help yourself & others so this could well be for you. Don't think that counsellors are fully 'sorted' and perfect beings, they're only human & have to attend supervision / counselling sessions with a specialist counsellor to keep check of their own mental health. I think they simply learn to contain & compartmentalize their emotions.

    I realise NHS access to counselling is limited, it could be worthwhile contacting some local charities to see if any of them offer counselling sessions. Some will have volunteer counsellors or L4 / L5 students offering sessions. You could even contact Cruse, they specialise in bereavement & loss counselling, loss & bereavement take many forms & could include; loss of self, independence, future opportunites etc etc - all attributed to bi. I've just used them as an example, but look outside of the box to find the support you need.

    It could still be worth you seeking out a beginners book, the Pete Sanders one quite easy going & user friendly. Meditation might also help you calm a fidgety mind, if you manage that please tell me how because mine is a real minx! :-)

    Best wishes

    CC xx

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