This is my first post and from reading some of the topics and chats I feel like a bit of a fraud but am finding things difficult to come to terms with so thought I would join and see if anyone had a similar issue and also just to vent/discuss with people who may understand.
So precisely one month ago I was involved in some sort of push bike accident, I have no recollection of the accident itself but I basically hit the road at about 36 mph and appeared to use my head/face as a brake as I slid down the road. Many things where out of character for the actual event, I was dressed in a strange outfit when compared to my normal cycling gear, I was on a road I would never routinely go along, I was traveling so fast (keen cyclist but not the quickest and certain not wreckless enough to go that fast normally!) and it was early in the morning at least an hour earlier than I would normal normally be out and about on my way to work. My physical injuries are fairly limited, one knee was badly grazed and bruised, I suffered a cut to my eye brow from my glasses digging in and one side of my face was badly gravel rashed along with my leg, arm and hands. These have all healed pretty well and despite the odd scar I have got off lightly.
Then there is the hidden injury resulting from my head hitting the road. I was wearing a cycle helmet which was split right through, suggesting that the impact was pretty hard. I was clearly concussed and have no recollection of the event or the immediate time afterwards, but more of a worry is the memory I seem to have lost for the best part of a week before the accident.
I spent nine days in hospital being poked, prodded and put back together and am still awaiting and MRI and EEG scans. The neurologist is of the belief that I may have had a seizure of some description so has stopped me from driving for 6 months, not great when you are self employed but with two very small children safety is paramount.
The trouble is at the moment not knowing what happened and what the future holds is weighing heavy on my mind. Physically I feel stronger every day, but I find it difficult to cope with day to day life, my concentration is very poor, my memory is awful I seem to spend my days writing notes so that I don't forget things, I am not sleeping properly and my emotions are up and down like a yoyo.
The Occupational Therapist feels this is all fairly normal, although the amnesia is not necessarily, and I need to give myself time to see what will come back and not to stress out about the little things.
I am so happy to have come home to my young family but selfishly at times wish I hadn't, I have had some very frustrating and dark days recently. I definitely don't feel like the person I was before this all happened.
Sorry for the long post but the words just kept flowing.