Life has fallen apart

[janey61]

Hi , well after a horrendous two weeks with my brain injured son ,,his arm got broken by carers and then they evicted him ...my partner of four years has been amazing , then suddenly as we were nearing the end of the crisis, my son attacked me , since then my partner can't face me , I,m having to pack and move out of his home where I,ve lived for four years ...my son is getting settled in his new home with 24/7 carers ...even today on his home visit as am so exhausted I stayed away but am lost and confused all I've ever done is try and be a good mum and partner why am I being punished so ...need support right now ..please xx

[Hidden]

hi there Janey what a week you have had to put up with and then your partner can't face you, its a time like this is should be wrapping his arms around you for support what kind of man would do that and then having to pack and move my heart goes out to you, i wish there was something i can do to help, i'm here if needed. hope you can get settled soon and hope someone can offer you the comfort you need and want at this moment, please keep in touch if you can and if i can help you please just ask take care Alan xx

[cat3]

Hi Janey. Your posts seems to have vanished from your profile page so perhaps you could give us a brief reminder of your history. I presume it was your son with the brain injury who attacked you .............and it's he who had moved to 24/7 care ?

I'm so sorry you're so upset and confused ; life, and people, can be pretty cruel and perhaps you need some quiet time to assess the situation and lick your wounds. Do you have your own place to stay ? xx

[janey61 in reply to cat3]

That's weird , I haven't delted anything ,,,my son had meningitis and a stroke at 5 weeks old , life been busy , he went to residential school at 14 , the last few years have been a battle with providers not working with him the way they should last year he went to an adult semi supported flat and things got worse , he is very controlling and aggressive when anxious , happy when doing things he likes and left alone , they had a specialist behaviour nurse and an o.t on their staff and we were reassured they could manage his behaviours and lalso develop his skills but things went downhill with staff leaving and Daniel assaulting staff due to poor management ...my partner of four years has always been so involved wanted to help , attend meetings etc but he's was diagnosed with diabetes and a heart condition last year . Over the last two weeks he has been amazing , then suddenly on Monday I got the bombshell after my son attacked me, but he was very anxious about moving to his new placement ..and his broken arm was causing him much frustration ....thanks for all the replies it really helps the loneliness .

[cat3 in reply to janey61]

What a rotten time you've had Janey. Worrying about ourselves is nothing compared to worry over our child, whatever age they are.

I hope you've somewhere else to go after leaving your partner's place and I hope you can stay strong for both your son and yourself.

We don't always know our own strength until it's tested .....................I hope you'll be pleasantly surprised and move on to better things.

All best wishes for better days for you and your son.

Cat xx

[sca2013]

That has got to be a very tough experience to go through. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Above all take care of yourself the best you can. Best wishes to you to find the help and support you need and deserve.

[Kavib]

I know it's hard but maybe he wasn't the right partner for you... I believe that someone should stick by you through thick or thin....

How is your son coping, is he getting the right kind of help?

He will get back to before but needs help to do this.

I had a SAH in March 2015 and suffered with bad tempers, getting angry quickly, being negative with what happened. Therapy, yoga and family got me through it.

I have done a 3 part video blog to try and help others and family, friends in a similar situation. Please watch and hope it helps. I have attached the first one...

youtu.be/qM7qgw79k_o(Not working as expected?)

[Alice5]

Oh Janey

I am so, so sorry to read your post. What a terrible time for you, you must be physically and mentally exhausted.

Your son is probably unsettled and he's taken this out on you but it sounds as though he doesn't understand what he's doing.

He must have so many needs if he's having 24/7 care. You are doing all you can.

You must feel so disappointed with your partner who sounds like he's been supportive until now. He probably isn't brave enough to face you and maybe scared your son will attack him and your partner isn't well either. Can you talk to each other about what's happened. How often does your son come home?

I really feel for you and please keep in touch on here, it really is a lifeline.

Sending you a huge hug xx

[MXman]

Hi Janey, Im so sorry to here whats happened to you, sending yo big hugs and a prayer. As said above your partner shouldn't have bailed when the going got tough maybe he needed to get some time out for his own sanity but shouldn't have bailed. If my wife had left me id have been in deep doo. Sounds to me that he's the wrong partner for you and he's now left as your son is in care at this time you really need his support.

I really hope you can get some strength from the power in this forum and get through this. Your in the right place for help and chat. Have a peaceful Sunday and God Bless. XX Nick

[janey61 in reply to MXman]

Thankyou ....it's not his son and we have had two and half years of fighting the system , stress and worry ...no let up ,,,when my son attacked me ..my partner just said he was so angry and I feel he's not able to carry on for that reason ...anyway I,m trying to move out gradually four years of stuff ...just when I need to rest and be pampered ,,,,,just hoping he's not had some kind of mental breakdown x thanks all for replies means a lot