My boys journey

On march 22nd 2015...my 22 year old son had planned to go off roading on his quad...he just had to go 2 mins up the road to take hs quad to a van that was waiting for him...but he never made it to the van...

police say the quad was a death trap..Nick had only had it 2weeks...the brakes,accellorator and steering was all knackered...witnesses say he was driving erratucally and over taking people...but that woud of explained the brakes not working and the accelorator sticking. Within minutes of him leaving home..i heard the air ambulance and i felt sick...then i had that dreaded phone call from the police.

nick was airlifted to the QE in birmingham where he was operated on strait away..he had his skull removed to relieve the pressure on his brain..and a plate where his eye socket was as the bone pierced his brain. Nick was in an induced coma for 2 weeks when they woke him up...it was a miracle...nick was giving us the thumbs up and nodding...he knew who i was...i was so overwhelmed...however the next day he suffered a major setback...he contracted meningitis from where his eye socket pierced his brain...since that day he has been un responsive...28 weeks have now passed...28 weeks ive not heard his voice..he is awake and fully alert...he makes eyecontact and i believe he knows who i am and what i say...but he cant move anything or say anything ...he doesnt obey commands...however i can see him trying. He has damaged the both frontal lobes from impact...and the back from where the brain shook. I believe nick will respond again one day...i will never give up on him. Everyweek that passes gets harder...not seeing him smile or him just saying mum. They say the frontal lobes are personality and emotion....but i have seen several emotions in nicks eyes...ive seen sadness.ive seen pain.ive seen pride.ive seen love.and ive seen anger.ive read stories and i know miracles happen...my boy is my miracle cus he should never of survived the crash...he has fought meningitis...cdiff 4 times and scepticemia twice and he has come through it...so i no he will get there...but my heart has broken bigtime...i no he will never be the same as he was...but i still have my boy...with a whole new personality to love

23 Replies

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  • I can relate to your story in so many ways. My son who is now 13, was involved in a car accident along side his sister 3 years ago, Jack had 2 parts of his skull removed to relief the pressure. Never forget that evening. All i can say is never give up, Jack fought through so much and was critically ill for so long. He got infection after infection, had an allergy to anti biotics, so many trips to theatre, but they are both different children now, both have brain injuries, and life is very up and down, and some days are hard,but considering how far they have both come, i have to be grateful.

  • Hi Janie, My heart goes out to you, your son and your family, God bless him. I too had an off road accident in May but as serious as your sons but my brain bled and fortunately it stopped on its own and I'm recovering. I had damage to the frontal lobe and my personality has changed but I'm trying to get it back but its difficult especially for my wife and kids who were there when I came off my bike.

    Stay strong and you are in the right place for advice, experience and comfort. Take care. XX N

  • were you or your wife told about the possible implications of your brain injury mxman

  • Hi Steve,

    No just that I should make a full recovery and not to ride for 8 weeks. Never was I told about the difficulties of coordination or personality changes, well sorry thats not entirely true this may have been discussed just after the accident but I don't remember being told. My consultant said to give it 8 weeks with strictly do driving or riding and no work but I had to go to work and found this very difficult (Carpenter) lots of coordination and problem solving = lots of brain fatigue. I have learnt a lot by being on here but I really must get to a Headway group with my wife. N

  • yeh go to the group great for you and your good lady mate plus lots of info and a social life amongst people who understand. wh

  • ill give the local centre a call tomorrow. Its had a pretty big impact on my kids too as they were both there when it happened... Not good.

  • Really feel for you Janie. There are many of us here with similar stories. Not even the specialists can predict the outcomes of these brain injuries so stay strong and keep the faith. We are all here for you. x

  • Ouch, do wish you and your familly the best, it's a long time to be waiting.

    Brain is a amazing, and can recover remarkably well. But it's time.

    Talking of time I assume from your username that this is your 40th year like mine!

  • Yes...my 40th was in july...but couldnt celebrate ..time is a blur and ive read so many stories...i just hope and pray that my boy is one of the miracle ones...but he is already my miracle

  • Oh Janie I'm so sorry about your heartache. I can't help but imagine myself in your position and it makes my stomach churn to think of my son in that situation.

    I see you are a very determined lady with guts and faith ; exactly what's needed to get you through this traumatic time. I 'pray' your boy will turn a corner before long and show those very welcome signs of recognition.

    Sincere best wishes for both you and Nick. Cat x

  • Thanku x

  • Dear Janie

    My heart goes out to you. I am so glad you have found us. Here you can vent , ask questions, whatever you need.

    For now just know that I am thinking of you and please take as many virtual hugs as you need.

    X9ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Lovenhugs

    Xoxo

  • Thanku x

  • I am so sorry to hear what happened to your son and of course the effect it has on you.

    It is a miracle that he is still here and has such a supportive mum who will be with him all the way.

    You know him so well and can see what he's feeling even though he can't tell you. Keep talking to him, play his favourite music, show him photos, I'm sure you probably do all this already.

    Stay in touch on here, it really is a lifeline.

    Look after yourself as well as your son, I'm sending you a hug too xx

  • Shame. It sounds like it was a real BAD crash with his quad. Such a miracle to survive that. It's so unlucky for him to have had Meningitis.

    Just keep talking, loving and caring like you are ! I'm sure the day will come when suddenly he's responsive

    All the best, and love

    From Debs xx

  • My heart is with you, similar mum story its my 25 year old daughter that had a RTA in Feb 2014 on way home from work as a paramedic. Dont lose hope as they gave us little but slowly Niki is improving. She cant walk or talk yet but with therapies its starting to come although its so slow and frustrating. You know your Nick is there the same as I know my Niki is there and we will love the new people as much if not more than before its just a really hard road we are on. Niki was in induced coma for 5 weeks and was very erratic at first when started responding. She was in rehab for 11 months but came home

    and is now trying to get on with the new life she has to live. Ive read some wonderous stories on this site so it keeps me going. Look after yourself so you can look after Nick.

    Love

    Kath

  • janie1975 my stroke left me with frontal lobe damage and it has effected my emotions.

    i become aggressive for no apparent reason i cry, something i would never have done before....that was a sign of weakness i swear....ive gone from being articulate to sounding like a thug .......i dont know im being like it .......its only when my wife tells me off i know.

    this probably isnt what you want to hear but im just preparing you because the hospital wont tell you.

    sorry im crying while im writing this because the son you had wont be the same son that comes through this.

    for support and advice call headways 0800 800 2244 and ask for the nearest support group to you. you ll be made welcome and hear from survivors of brain injury and just as important their partners and mums.

    please keep me informed good luck

  • I no he wont b the same..but il b here for him. Ive read lots of info..i no thats not the same as real life...but ill b ready and waiting for him wen the time comes to bring him home...with all the love in the world...i no its not guna b easy...but we will get threw it x

  • please dont forget the support group it really will help to meet people who have or are going through a similar thing to you.......oh and dont forget the compensation thats due from that toerag who sold your boy a quad that was unfit to ride

  • So sad reading this and I send you a BIG HUG.x

    Please don't ever give up, it may take a few years but give this your all, with love, care, understanding, patience.

    My daughter was brain injured by a brain tumour and the road was long, hard and frustrating at times - but I kept fighting for her.

    Willing her on.

    Yes it took years.

    Yes she is left disabled.

    But she was able to reach her potential with all the above from me.

    You and your son have a long journey -

    Keep going, .

    I hope to read a post from you in the future that your son has made that first small improvement and hopefully one of many more

    More Hugs xxx

  • My thoughts are with you all as a family , your son sounds like a strong lad who is fighting every day to try and get better .

    As a motor bike rider and someone who has been where you are now at the bedside of a loved one please never give up , we never thought things could get better for loved ones but we never gave up .

    You are not alone and headway has been a great place to share and get comfort and help from people who have been in your situation , take care and positive thoughts for your son x . . .

  • I will never give up...i have every faith in him...he is the strongest person i know..im so proud of him and how far he has come..i just want the next step forward to hurry up....i just want to hear him say mum :( x

  • YES don't ever give up I sat for almost 2 weeks talking to a special little girl , willing her to talk and respond and when it happened it was so special , I have my fingers crossed for you Paul x.

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