Forgive and forget?

I was going to the Brains Trust post but found myself unable. Our solicitor was bent. He went to gaol, I went without.

Epilepsy, spatial problems, not a good verbal communicator and difficulty maintaining a friendship [ I have just two friends] remain. There's also the return of deep depression and I've started stuttering for words again as I get older.

However, I was lucky to have made the very reasonable recovery denied to others. I have a good job, a decent family and home. There's nothing there that compensation would reasonably have helped with except the mortgage and I paid that off ~10 yrs ago.

What I would like [and it'll never happen] is five minutes in the ring with the b'stard who ran me down in his spanking new Cortina as he was thrashing it along the Wickham Road in July 1967. He was 35 then; today he'll be 82/83.

I can't forgive him for the loss of the old version of me and this somewhat lonely and foul mouthed replacement.

Anybody else?

[Talking of the Brains Trust, anyone else remember a 1950's BBC TV programme of the same name where three academics spoke cobblers, as a majority of academics do, on subjects they knew absolutely nothing about taken from questions by viewers? eg Malcolm Muggeridge on the existence of the Higgs-Boson Particle]!

5 Replies

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  • I remember the brains trust too.

    I think I can understand your anger, I say think because my problems were caused by a virus, no- ones fault just bad luck.

    But that anger can be so destructive to your peace of mind, and ability to enjoy your life.

    I don't enjoy my life anymore, every day is a struggle. I can't work it has taken a lot of hard work to achieve what I can achieve now but I'm badly affected by the weather so at least 6 months of the year are a write-off unless we can afford to live abroad when my husband retires.

    Try and turn that anger to something constructive and take care, love Janet xx

  • Agree with Janet-anger is a self harmer.You were in an accident-awful and life changing but the accent is on the word accident.I hope you can try to make peace with yourself over this and concentrate on your own wellbeing-you have worked so hard to live well with your after effects and achieved so much. x

  • The person who knocked you down is probably dead or in a nursing home by now and having his diaper's changed. I know it's hard, but it would be good to let this guy escape from your head. I try not to look back to much as thinking 'if only I'd stayed in that night' etc. is a waste of mental resources.

    Also this time of year I can't spend time pottering in the garden, having a natter with the neighbours which brings me down. Wish I lived in a warmer climate.

  • Yea ,Stardrop, I miss my garden too but Spring is coming (so my calender says ! ) and you can always have a natter with us on here : )

  • Thanks all - I'll just try and push it to oneside. As I expect I won't be in the ring with anyone and I have read what you have all said. Thanks indeed.

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