Can anyone cope with pressure after a BI or does it effect us all so badly ???

Body is required, but that was it, can anyone cope with pressure ???

I personally can't cope with the slightest bit of pressure or disappointment as it goes cos it screws me up & sends me into a real low period for a few days or as before Xmas, my longest yet, 2 weeks - never thought I was gonna come out of it.

What about everyone else ???

16 Replies

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  • I find trying to cope with pressure, even just talking to loved ones on the telephone, anything that requires me to think whilst talking, and that's not all, means my brain goes into overload and starts shutting down.

    My speech becomes laboured, I need to deep breathe, my hearing dulls and my sight dims. Not good but a period of rest, brings it all back, doesn't cause me low moods but I'm on antidepressants and have been since I was hospitalised, right at the start.

    Janet xxx

  • Hiya Janet - I take mood stabilizers, anti-depressants effected me badly - didn't get on with them at all.

    & just reading your profile, I'm sure U will improve as I still am even after 20 years. I don't know whether it's improving so much as finding ways t cope with things & ways in which to achieve your goal.

    Oh & don't worry btw, not sure when U wrote your profile but it'll be warm again soon ;o)

    Xxx

  • That profile was written in 2012 I think but I'm still affected badly by the cold, I feel like I'm hibernating at present.

    We went on an Eastern Med cruise at the beginning of November, it was brilliant, not too warm and my energy levels were great cos I had nothing to do. Oh to be a millionaire, I'd spend my time travelling, chasing the sun.

    A pipe dream, til that happens I'll have to be patient til my husband retires then see if we can afford a holiday home somewhere warmer xxx

    Take care Janet x

  • Janet: the antidepressants made me VERY ill and bad symptom not even listed, scary, took a while to clear. Valium and benzos are GREAT but know too nice/addictive, but in my book have their place for when really needed, nothing works the same or as good. Are they any more addictive than alcohol or tobacco I wonder?

    I just need (we all need?) as MUCH of the stress to be removed: our basic daily lives already hard work and can be stressful (even washing up for me = hard and tiring, makes hands/arms shaky = so many decisions/movements), we don't want or need EXTRA stresses piled on top = unbearable,I know,I've been there = thoughts of suicide to escape it/them, desperate place to be, SO scary.

  • The antidepressants I'm on are citalopram only 10 mg a day so very low dosage and I only take them 5 days a week.

    I've been on stronger overthe years, don't personally don't have ant issues with taking them.

    I had to be put on Diazepam when I first came out of the coma because I was too agitated but they only kept me on that for about 4 weeks, weaned me off it gradually.

    Now I try to keep the stress levels down but can handle it if it spikes.

    Very important for everyone, it's quite frightening to see what it does to your brain isn't it?

    Love Janet x

  • Yes, real eye-opener for me to see/feel how much my brain deteriorates when overloaded/stressed, my sleep really dreadful and so many NIGHTMARES (never ever had like that in my life) and my memory and energy FAR FAR worse. But docs/experts must know that already, they must tell governments coz (for me, others?) their systems are SO overloading and stressful sent me into complete suicidal meltdowns. And there's lots of other people suffer similar, other 'invisible' (and visible) disabilities/injuries who are as badly affected as me - or WORSE. Terrible, shocking and AWFUL.

    Well done you, I can't handle the spikes of stress AT ALL at the moment, no reserve, already on limit, actually way over my limit = not possible to copewith at all. I do the best I can though, try to eat but days SO much harder when sleep so bad and nightmares wreck my rest.

    More 'invisible' injury inflicted on us, so difficult to show or explain. Must be prevented ON TOP of what we're already struggling with, stress destroys healthy bodies, must permanently damage ours even more.

  • I empathise with all this. I was previously someone who liked to talk, especially about difficult issues but since the sah I find myself getting restless and stressed if someone starts to drone on. It's quite difficult to keep my emotions in check, but I'm still working on it.

    I was coming home from a hospital visit yesterday and needed to make an urgent call but my mobile kept saying 'No connection to network' so wouldn't make any calls. I found a telephone box and put my 60p in, only for the call to go straight to answerphone and I had no more change so couldn't call anyone else.

    I was so close to throwing a pantomime-type tantrum in the street but managed to keep it together and get home where I made a coffee, took a valium and slowly worked through what I needed to do to address the issue retrospectively.

    But the emotion far outweighed the problem I'd had and I was so exhausted I couldn't face my evening meal. I do take antidepressants & have done for most of my life, but they're not enough to cope with these periods of sheer outrage and intense frustration.

    So yes Stace, I do believe it's a result of our brain injuries ; I've heard so many others saying the same, and the change is so marked in me it can't be just coincidence.

    And the advice of 'Bre-e-eath' is all very well if you can calm down enough to do so ! :x xx

  • Well said Cat about the Bre-e-eath! I go into real tizzy meltdown panic (letters, jobs must do, having to get to appointment on time = clock-watch, can't stop myself! Worst when out of my control = obeying others' commands, fitting into THEIR schedules and going where THEY tell me I must at times that don't suit me AT ALL! Wonder why they don't ASK me: what time would it suit you? A bit of respect required!

  • Hi Stace

    Sorry you are having such a hard time.

    That is one of the things I hate most. I am unable to cope with the slightest bit of stress and find pretty much everything stressful now.

    I either get more and more wound up, and then it takes days to calm down or I explode into a rage or tears. If I explode it gets it out and I'm calm afterwards, but it is horrible for the person I have exploded at, and then I feel such shame over my behaviour.

    I am really hoping it will improve, I don't seem to explode anywhere near as much now, but sadly I think I am simply suppressing it, which then like you said, screws me up for ages and I can't get it off my mind.

    I have also noticed I cannot wait for anything, phone calls etc. If the person doesn't ring dead on time I am so angry I feel like not answering or telling them where to get off when they do ring! :o I hate being like this

  • I can usually cope with my injury OK.

    Every one of us who have BI is lucky to be here so you should all pat yourselves on the back :).

    My mum is like my PA and she offers a lot of support when I need it. If she was not here, I would be lost and I would imagine my injury may be harder to handle, stress and so on. I know one day my mum won't be here but hopefully that won't happen for a long time yet.

  • I used to cope better with my ABI than I am now. Too many stresses and awful things = meltdown and then EVERY little thing becomes BIG, scary and stressful. They (whoever they are!) should NEVER leave everything so long that we go into breakdown, ever. So cruel and heartless. Everything easier to fix if caught early, they must listen to us FIRST time, BELIEVE us and ACT. In my opinion.

  • Yes, I can't take any pressure and can't make my mind up about anything. Terrified about making a mistake. I try to head off situations which will fraggle me, by planning and having back up plans. I'm having a new kitchen fitted in a weeks time, today the company send me a letter saying it will come on a large lorry, and there needs to be somewhere to put the stuff that is near. I have a garage in a block at the rear, but it's pretty full with all sorts of stuff dumped by family. I have a small conservatory, but had planned to store the washing machine there. The lorry won't get into the garage block.

    I was going to put all the kitchen 'stuff' in boxes in the lounge and have the microwave on the table with the toaster. Now I'm really worried about where everything will go. I should have thought it through. I'm feeling really sick in case it all goes wrong.

    They say I might not have electricity and water for some of the time, but was planning to stay in the house.

    I used to ask the staff at the local Headway if I had problems, but they lost their funding and the people who took over have dropped the local meetings and signed us off. I really miss them, just talking problems through was very calming.

    Looking back I should have ruthlessly culled kitchen equipment some time ago, but I find it stressful to make any decisions about what to keep and what to go. Even the question 'lino or tiles?' has me feeling weak at the knees.

  • Hi Stardrop

    Sorry you have such a huge upheaval to face. Is it possible to stay with someone while the work is done? That way you would only need to pile everything into a room, without having to worry about access to use it etc.

    I'm like you about decisions too, I used to be able to decide easily on most things, now I can't even decide what to wear!

    Good luck

  • I used to be a bit of a stresshead pre illness-partly fuelled by the vast amount of work/duties I had to cover and my own sense of not wanting to let others down ,thus time for my own needs was secondary and relaxation was an unknown concept to me.I seem to have done a complete about turn on this-perhaps some would say I'm a bit too relaxed now !Since everything seems to work a bit slower now,both physically and mentally,there simply is no way to rush.I have learned to allow more time for doing tasks and not push to take too much on.This allows me to work at my own speed and rest when appropriate.I stay an extra 15 minutes beyond allotted time at my cleaning job-makes the pace more comfortable.I still like to help others when I can but now know my limits.Like everyone,I love it when a plan comes together but if it doesn't I can find a way to work round it.In short-I no longer sweat the small stuff !

    I am sorry for anyone who lives in a state of perpetual stress-I know what it used to be like x

  • I'm lucky in a lot of ways, I get my nephew and his wife to come and help me occasionally, I can't do the clearing out and cleaning like I used to so they come and I give them carte Blanche to clear out. They've done my kitchen, I had 2 empty cupboards when they finished, and my conservatory had become a dumping ground so they sorted that for me.

    I occasionally think " where's so-and-so" but on the whole it's great.

    Later this year they can come and do my loft, that'll take more than one day though!!!!!

    I worked on the assumption that if I'd not survived I wouldn't care what happened to things so..............

    And my hobbies have had to change because of my abilities now so, it's amazing how cathartic a clear out can be :-)

    Janetxxxx

  • Wait, I just read the title of your post again. You're asking if we can cope under pressure after BI?

    Sorry, I read it as copying with a BI.

    I'm guessing you mean pressure like work being put on you and meeting deadlines and things?

    Well, for me, I didn't have a lot of pressure to put up with before my BI. Post BI, I was trying to make it through my senior/high school, that is probably when I started to deal with more pressure and I think I coped with it pretty well.

    At this time of my life, I have no school, I have no real job, aside from volunteering, so really the real pressure that I get is from there but this pressure is not put upon me, it is pressure I choose to face. Remembering everyone's orders, tea, coffee, do they take sugar, do they not. But it is very light pressure and it doesn't bother me so much.

    Now if I was working at Starbucks or Costa then I would experience heavy pressure I would think, what with all these impatient customers.

    "You'll get ya coffee when I bloody say so" haha.

    I consider myself very lucky with my BI because I could've gone through this life with no family. It would all be me and I would find things overwhelmingly difficult I would imagine, especially with the DWP.

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