I liked that saying 'Life Part Two' it is like that isn't it.
I realized recently I gauge everything now on how much before or after the accident was.
'I Forget' posted that 'none of us prefer the new version'. Is that true for everyone - ?
It is for me. Thats very sad isn't it.
Jules
I DON'T LIKE THE NEW VERSION AT ALL BUT SOME HOW I'VE ACCEPTED IT.
THE THING I CAN'T ACCEPT IT HOW RUBBISH & RESTRICTIING THE AFTER EFFECTS OF THIE SH*TY BI ARE,
I HATE HATE HATE THEM.
Not quite everyone, Jules.
I was only 11 nearly 12 when I had my first out of 11 operations on my head, so far. So I had to grow up in my NEW life.
In my teens, I did not like it and wanted to carry on with my old life which I've got to say, you shouldn't really do.
As I got older I accepted what I and couldn't do and after meeting lovely people too, as part of me is glad to have this second life.
I have a friend I know through Headway called Liz and because of her second life, she now calls herself Betty haha.
I didn't think much about the 'second life' thing at first but if I were to name this new me, I shall call myself... Eugene... Thanks to Emma
on that one :).
So I now have two birthdays. May 2nd is the day of my birth and 9th of April is the first day of BI :).
Life Part Two was a section heading for the book I wrote (but never published) after my accident... the book , like me, is still very much a work in progress 
If I can ever edit out the self pitying whining parts I may inflict it on the poor unsuspecting general public one day
Comparing the before and after is natural... we do it in all areas of life...hair cuts, room make overs, dieting...its human nature
Of course with BI we tend to focus more on the deficits, on what is lost ,on how much more difficult things are now...and that too is natural because lets face it a BI is hardly an improvement - like a new hairstyle or a room make over might be...
I think we will probably always compare things now to then form time to time...when perhaps we would be better off comparing the point of BI to now...In doing that we would see more clearly just how magnificent we survivors truly are... and just how far we have come.
iforget
May be you don't need to edit out the 'whining self pitying parts'
Maybe we need an honest, realistic, tell it as it is book out there to open other's eyes to what we go through?
Maybe just a little bit of whining needs to go Realism is one thing but excess whining is not going to engage anyone.That said if it ever does get finished it will be the raw truth
I think what is probably more important is for me to work on the general edit. My efforts at conveying the total bewilderment and confusion of the early days were perhaps a little too effective in parts and I need to work on it so that it can be understood on some level by the average reader.
Maybe 2015 will be the year I can pick this up again and chip away at the bones of it... I am never saying never
I shall look forward to reading it 
Have you thought about asking your family to write a bit from their perspective, you konw how it affected them?
my family and friends did but I dont think it was good for me reading it. Its very sad,
Jules
Jules I agree... reading what my family members wrote for assessment purposes was (and still is) really hard. My mother in particular was brutally honest in what she wrote...
Then again she and I have had conversations about this too,....and eventually I had to ask her to stop saying about how much she missed me and how she longed for me to get back and her sadness when this did not happen and a whole heap of other stuff... The first time it was sad but honest, but after that it began to feel more like blame and I would want to retaliate. It was not a positive process at all. .
Every so often she revisits those thoughts...and while I wish she wouldn't, they are her feelings and I cannot deny them.
This stuff is so hard sometimes... 
They have had input and their thoughts and experiences are interwoven. They are not writers and did not want to write anything specifically...but were happy for the project to include them by default. They were vastly important in the fact checking and timeline aspects and without them it would have been technically classifiable as fiction.
I have struggled with this and I think it is partly because self as subject is not something I am comfortable with (I was/am a fiction writer) and partly because it is by necessity a story without an end...and for me (as a writer of fiction) that is hard.
I have considered more than once rewriting it as fact based fiction...but it seems more unbelievable when presented as fiction... strange huh
Not strange, some of the most awful experiences are almost unbelievable and if it is presented in a sort of autobiography it gives it the factual backing it needs, compared to fiction where it is like 'oh come on a bit far fetched etc'!
I understand about not having an ending, maybe one day it will have a happy ending of sorts, but for now it is the never ending story
Hi jules,
I don't like the new version of me to be totally honest I feel stupid a lot of the time, like yesterday I was really stressed out because I forgot to pick up my trainers when I was getting off the bus, so when I got to work I picked a few things up and went to pay for them but ended up putting my card in the wrong way, but it wasn't just the once though it was like 10 times kept taking it out putting it back in
but it just didn't dawn on me that it could be the wrong way around I blamed the machine then when I realised that it was my fault I was so embarrassed and slightly ashamed because I made people have to wait to get served.
Some days I don't think I should have survived because I feel like a burden but then when I have a better day and I manage to do a lot of things right I feel like the bad days are worth it,
Take care jules,
Siobhan x
That's quite sad to hear Siobhan and Jules, nobody, with BI should feel like a burden.
I don't like to think of it as worse, it's just different. Some people have such boring lives, at least ours has a bit of excitement to it
A person who gets to have a second birthday cos of their BI is quite gifted in my book :). Apparently the queen has a second birthday but she does not have a BI. She is just selfish :).
I like the sound of having a 2nd birthday, I spoke to a family member about my bi, I named it my re-birthing because it's like I was given a 2nd chance at life, and now I don't take it for granted anymore.
Next march will be my 4th bi birthday/re-birthing year.
The only disappointment I have is that both birthdays will be really close together birthday is in feb n bi birthday is in march, but should I class it as a disappointment nope I shouldn't because I've been given a 2nd chance at life and I now don't take it for granted.
Yes, a rebirth, that is how my friend described it. My birthday is close to my BI birthday. I dont usually celebrate my BI but I can always have drink on that day to celebrate :). So Eugene, my 2nd identity, is 18 years old and it's kind of ironic because I actually feel like an 18 yr old inside. I do not feel like a 30 yr old.
I feel like that too the me before brain haemorrage & after I was so independent before bh & now rely on my husband for everything I was worried he wouldn't love me anymore because I wasn't me but he says he loves me more cos I actually let him do things for me now where b4 I was so I'm Mrs independent I don't need help silver lining in the strangest of places
It's true for me Jules I don't like the new version of me and I've not accepted it yet, that's still a struggle
I need to get into the 2 birthdays though, that's gonna be a lot of fun
Fergie, that's lovely to hear your husband loves you more, keep hold of him
I hope I can find a hubby one day, but I think if I don't like the new me, no one else will
I have an old me and a new me. Currently virtually the entire first half of my life was spent as the 'old' me. Consequently the second half of my life has been spent exclusively in the company of the 'new' me.
Half ONE was obviously my formative years, growing up, maturing, discovering friends, discovering my personality, dealing with life's issues, becoming me
Half TWO was obviously my formative years, growing up, maturing, discovering friends, discovering my personality, dealing with life's issues, becoming me.
There appears to be a theme running concurrently in the two halves of my existence. But if I'm honest, 100% honest, I'm happier now as the 'new' me than I ever was as the 'old' me.
I've clearly been fundamentally changed by the whack on the old bonce; however I'm led to believe by my family and the one or two friends who remain from pre-whack that the change made me a far better person. Now I'm not in any way saying that I was a waste of space in half one, but the head injury matured me in ways that even I can't explain.
I said something very similar in a post I made yesterday in response to another thread, but life is good. The issues I have cloud my days, yes. But the clouds do part and the brightness fights its way through, every day.
I can't dwell, it doesn't improve things, it wont change anything and I really can't afford to waste my precious energy wondering how things could have been.
This is NOT a dress rehearsal, this is your one shot at life and it would be a crying shame to waste it
Keep smiling, laugh often
I really can't celebrate the date of my injury or treat it as a second birthday. Each year I have an entry in my journal which almost always reads something along the lines of
"nothing to celebrate, not here to mourn...just marking the day."
and that is pretty much how I feel about it now. It is too important to be ignored but nothing to celebrate either.
The new me is more confident in some ways.I was always very quiet and didn't like to rock the boat -I have learned to speak up when I feel strongly about an injustice.I have learned to ask for what I need-be it directions in a supermarket or instructions writing down for me.The new me takes no bull from the medical profession-BIG TIME ! I have had to toughen up emotionally -I move in mysterious ways these days,especially when fatigued which can attract strange looks.I can't afford to worry about what others think and yes,I have had people address me like I am retarded because of the way I am walking-its only ignorance,not personal,nothing to get upset about.The n ew me has gained much medical knowledge which empowers me indealing with my 'glitches'. I have no fear of whatever my body throws at me -it is dealt with in a logical and calm manner. The new me has embraced the value of recreational time instead of feeling guilt over not working all the time-I no longer feel that it is selfish to want some time to myself,instead of devoting all free time to others,this is a big change and has been imposed upon me physically.The new me has gained patience,insight,empathy and tolerance to herself and others and a deeper appreciation of the simple things.But for my experience I would never have met her.Shame she's a bit naff in the physical/cognitive department !
Lost & Found: What Brain Injury Survivors Want You to Know - Part 2
Brain Injury - Life After A Brain Injury, Care Companies and Activities. 
Returning to life 
