Need Help

[Negeen]

Hey guys, I just need some help... How can I make my family understand? The neuropsych eval placed me in very impaired ranges across the board. I really need to get my family to understand the seriousness of this and that I may be dependendent on them for the rest of my life. I'm sad because I feel like no one understands how serious this is, that I may never be independent and functioning in society. So we really need to start planning for my future, but no one in my family understands. How can I get them to take this seriously and start planning for the future?

[daisymay70]

Hi Negeen,I think the best way is let your family know through the neuropsychologist the only person who knows almost of your problems.Sometimes people don`t want to believe on what you`re reporting, even if the words are exactly what the specialist had said.If they don`t want to listen ,you`ve to ask for help to a social worker in a local community service in your area because if you`re unable to conduct a normal life and being independent, maybe you can receive incapacity benefit and a carer if your family don`t want to look after you.There are also legal procedures and call them in court , but that depends on your choice and the social worker evaluation of the situation.Usually the problem has to be solved in the less painful way, so start to ask your neuropsychologist if he can arrange an appointment to discuss the situation with your family, if they refuse to know then ask the social worker intervention for your behalf.

[Nutkin33]

Does your Headway offer Group Support. My sister goes to our one here in Dorset, and she now fully understands me and other brains. They are always discussing the effects on people's injuries, and I know it's pretty confidential too so you don't have to worry about being a high point of the conversation! Good luck x

[Negeen in reply to Nutkin33]

I'm not in an area where i have access to headway support groups

[Nutkin33 in reply to Negeen]

Oh shame. I'm sorry! X

[Hidden]

Hi

I am sorry to hear of your assessment results

I recall that after my injury 50 yrs ago I got NIL support and it was as if my head injury / coma never happened as far as my parents thought

I remember being told (some time after the accident that my parents had said I was attention seeking !!!

I hope you don't have to go through that

I suppose that it is the result of having no visible signs of such a traumatic episode in our lives

I have been lucky that I was able to finish School and get a job ( menial as it was ) with an employer who was aware of my accident and took it into account when I messed up or had a silly session like driving fork lift into a closed door

Sorry to ramble but what I am trying to say although you are going to have problems with getting your family to accept the seriousness of your disability, you might find (fingers crossed ) that you may still have a life to look forward to

Sorry if it does not make sense but my brain is not working today

[Hidden]

just noted you are not in a headway support area

is their any other brain injury support groups in your locale

[Negeen in reply to Hidden]

I'm not sure. I have not checked yet.

[iforget]

Negeen as I understand it you are in the USA? I have a BI pal who is active and has links to many BI organisations and groups if you let me know which state/area you are in I will ask her if she knows of anything in your area.

One thing I would advise though ....do not get too hung up on the scores of a neuropsych evaluation...do not let them limit your potential. You are so much more than that.

My scores were horrible across the board and I cried like a baby when reality hit...If we had paid attention to my scores and let them dictate our life I would probably just sit in a corner and wait to die... what we have done is to use those results to understand what is going on and why and to focus on finding workarounds for the many deficits.

Things can really be as bad as you let them...especially if you sit back and live your life accoridng to a few scores on a test.

[Negeen in reply to iforget]

Did your neuropsychologist give you any direction or help iforget? Or dod he just throw scores at you and tell you to leave?

[iforget in reply to Negeen]

Actually it was suggested that we should not bother to expect any improvements in my many deficits and that I should "go away and try to live a simple happy life"...whatever the bleep that means ...and I still haven't figured that one out yet

After some consideration (aka sobbing, sulking and being generally obnoxious to anyone who got near) I got mad at the very idea I could possibly be as bad as they said and that I was effectively on the scrapheap. I refused to be defined by someone else's assessment of my potential to be the best that I could be... and I was determined to prove them wrong... not sure how that last bit worked out to be honest but with gadgets, gizmos, strategies and a LOT of humour (some of it rude) and some cussing...life is good.

Its not the life I had or the life I wanted but its the one I got and I try to make the best of it.