memory loss and how to describe it?

[red_spinel]

I find that trying to describe my memory loss is like trying to describe the colours of rainbow to someone that is blind. Its just so irratic, somethings i can remember, then sometimes its just small snippits and sometimes just nothing. Does anyone have these type of things, or is it different for everyone? people tell me im not the person i was, i had a sudden cardiac arrest that lasted 25 minutes, my doctor tells me in her 25 years she has never seen that, and that no one probably really understands what has really happened in my head...

[Kirk5w7]

I would imagine given a heart attack lasting that long would mean a hypoxic brain trauma, which has all the same effects of TBIs but again no-one is going to be able to predict the effect on you, as they are all different. So you're going to have to learn along with it as the effects unfold but the memory loss is classic, mine is sometimes ok then other days it all goes to pot, that's the way of the world for me now.

Hope you can deal with the new you, love Janet xxx

[red_spinel in reply to Kirk5w7]

hi janet, thank you, can i ask, do you work or does it stop from doing so?, im still off work at the moment..

[Kirk5w7 in reply to red_spinel]

Hi, no I'm not at work it's been 2 years now, they kept my job for me but at the tribunal for ESA they reckoned I'd be a liability in the workplace, balance is erratic and my spatial awareness is not good, I wouldn't pass a risk assessment. I'm 61 now too so who would give me a job???

[iforget]

My injury was in 2006 but I still can't fully explain to people what the memory loss is like....mainly because I don't remember! Pretty much everything about things that happened is taken from notes made at the time and there was one point when I was delighted to find I 'remembered' cutting my hand...only to find out that my 'memory' of what happened was completely credible, it was also completely false... and then began the period of not being able to trust what I thought I knew...

Nowadays I have systems and gizmos in pace that allow me to function pretty well... and there is nothing wrong in faking it sometimes... I only tell people who need to know...and in social circumstances I am comfortable in laughing things off because I have come to realise that my difficulties are not of any interest to anyone outside of my immediate circle.

I returned to work for a period after my initial 'recovery' but have zero recollection of being there. When I realised the risk this posed I tried really hard to explain to my employers and colleagues... when they finally got the picture they reacted poorly and I arrived at my desk to find I had been moved to another area away from everyone else and the phone had removed from that desk. They suddenly started treating me like I was brain dead rather than had a TBI. Needless to say I no longer work for them ...

[Mikesghost]

My short term memory is shocking and there are massive spaces in my memory. I get frustrated when I try and describe it to my friends, family and work colleagues and they say, "Everyone forgets things...".

[red_spinel in reply to Mikesghost]

i know you feel. are you working at the moment? i may have to go back and i find the idea really scary, knowing how bad the memory is..

[Mikesghost in reply to red_spinel]

Yes I am working. ironically as a support worker for adults with learning difficulties. I love the job but I'm afraid of losing it in a few years when it becomes compulsory to have an SVQ level 2. Folk at work tell me not to worry, it's easy, but I know my ability to learn and retain new information is feeble at best. Who knows maybe I will pass it. I should be more positive! I will pass it with flying colours

[red_spinel in reply to Mikesghost]

im afraid if i got back to work that i will mess things up by forgetting things, and the chances of getting another job when then do health checks isnt easy either....i was also thinking of maybe appllying for DLA, but that is hard to get these days..

[Mikesghost in reply to red_spinel]

I have made quite a few mistakes because I forgot things but don't let that put you off applying for jobs. Yes DLA is a pain to claim but you should apply for it anyway. If you are daunted by the form the Citizens Advice Bureau will help. I volunteered with them for a year before I got this job and filling out these forms for people was a daily job.

[vjones2 in reply to Mikesghost]

oh those famous lords oh i forgt his everyone forgets stuff they dnt get it if i got a letter no i need2 keep if i move it a inch i freak and carnt find it theni get told im stupid its got b thre it is probabthere but where i carnt find or remember where they jst dont get it its loseing forgettg hen anger fea comes in and when someone says oh we all forget scream id like 2 do at them v

[DavidSugg]

Yes i have sort term memory loss like you some times totally other times snippets mine is due to an SAH any oxygen supply interruption to the brain will cause problems such as sort

term memory loss as well as a host of other problems like you i am trying to find answers but as i am coming to realize there are no hard and fast rules to recovery every one is different even with the same injury i am just taking one day at a time but people on here have helped me even if it is some one who understands what you are going through Dave

[red_spinel in reply to DavidSugg]

i know you feel. are you working at the moment? i may have to go back to work and i find the idea really scary, knowing how bad the memory is..

[pixie2308]

my explanation of memory loss is that it is like a library and a filing cabinet that has been ransacked by a mob. The information is still there but all of the pages have been ripped out and thrown to all directions. The names are still on the files but the images are in the same pile as the book pages; and sometimes they link up but not quite in the correct order. Like a jigsaw when you have several mixed up and a totally different picture to match up the bits.

Which makes life a great adventure and if people get upset if I get names, places and information wrong then that is their problem; my problem is living with it daily.

[Hidden]

I've just been discussing this in a PM, so with a quick cut and paste...

With my wife, in the early days of recovery from a TBI it was like the short term memory was there, but the connections to read it were mangled. If we worked around from another angle she could often remember things. For instance "Do you remember where we went yesterday" was hard - very hard! BUT, giving clues like "the coffee was nice" or "it was raining" would often find an alternative path to access the memory. Using visual and sensory approaches (like smell of coffee) would often provide a route around the damage to find the memory was there. At the moment her short term recall appears to vary in proportion to how tired she is.

This whole area fascinates me because I did a Psychology test for a university student not so long ago. The gist of it was to try and remember a list of 20 pairs of unrelated items like "cat and belt", "tea pot and buttercup" etc. in a limited amount of time. I got less than half right!

The second time around, with another list, I was told to use visual memory, for instance "cat and belt" could be thinking of a picture of a cat wearing a belt. 18 out of 20 that time!

There must be some techniques out there, other than a pen and paper...

[lew-ann]

Lol is like watching an old movie with bits missing sometimes large chucks sometimes grainy, vivid or viewing has completely disappeared and you haven't got a clue what it's all about. Don't know if this helps but it's a hard one to describe. Unless u have first hand at it the others will never know the borne identity was as close as I could get a fill in the missing bit like how wel he got over it Mmmm never mind just liked the eye candy as for the story line well if I watch it a few more times

[Hidden in reply to lew-ann]

Wow, I like the Bourne Identity analogy. It seems to have struck a chord with you.

Take care, D.

[lew-ann]

I know exactly what your talking about after acquiring my icu records it turned out when i had my cardiac and respiratory arrest it to just over an hour to restart my heart it stopped 27 times i laugh now

But i have learnt a few things its a hidden disability after 10 years my ex finally gets it a bit he no longer says thing like 'do you remember when' duhhh or asking me to do more than one thing thats gonna get forgotten in a few seconds anyway its taken 10 years of showing rather than telling i got sick of hearing 'yer me too i lose my car keys all the time' and they wonder why we have anger issues

As for memories i get snippits, can't trust them though i discovered my brain fills in the gaps with what ever it sees fit so my brain and me dont get on so well. again my teenage daughter all so sees the problems im pretty sure i really iritate her especially when apparantly i said that twice so trying so describe the memory issue is bad enough but trying to explain retrograde amnesia is something out of the movies im pretty sure that's what they think, a bump on the head and it all comes back i wish!! then theres anterograde amnesia my first year was awful my the longest i could hold a memory for was about 30 seconds so creating new memories was impossible it not much better now

So i know where you coming from correct me if im wrong have a good day

Lew-ann xx

[oldbessie]

Sadly, unless you suffer yourself from this, nobody else can really understand. As well as memory loss, my sense of direction vanished, and trying to explain what it's like is nearly impossible. I can no longer go more than a mile from home, without feeling as though I'm going into a big black hole, that whirls round and round! Although some aspects of my memory are improving, I've had to accept that there are large areas of my life that are long gone. I have to trust people when they tell me I did this or that as a child, because I simply do not know.