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Memory loss

My husband is recovering from a ruptured aneurysm in his brain and is doing very well. The main issue is his memory - he has none at all at the moment. He knows who I am but can’t remember his way to the toilet or back to his bed and gets very confused. He is still in hospital (it’s been 11 weeks now)! I have written out a routine for him to follow everyday but he forgets to look at it and the nurses don’t help him at all. I’m guessing his memory will start to come back over time?

11 Replies

I’m so sorry to hear this and I hope his memory returns in time. Aneurysms are so scary. I have a large one at the back of my brain and terrified it ruptures. It was diagnosed a month ago and still waiting to go to a hospital for more scans. Scared stiff. I feel the hospital is dragging it’s heels.

My best wishes to you both


Oh no I’m so sorry to hear that, how terrifying for you!!!! The hospitals don’t seem to be able to cope at the moment..Kev is in a liver ward and the nurses have no idea how to deal with a Brain injury patient!! I hope they get things sorted for you soon!!


That’s just appalling , poor soul . Is he well enough to go home or could you not cope? It’s such a hard place for you both to be , 11 weeks is a long time but thankfully he didn’t have a stroke which scares me . I pray life picks up for both of you as you must be suffering too. Bless you , life isn’t fair 😞


No he just isn’t well enough to come home. I have had to go back to work full time and he definitely could not be left at home. He needs rehabilitation but we are waiting for a bed and he isn’t even being assessed until the 17th April! All very frustrating. I feel like I’m battling everyone at the moment 😰


I had breast cancer a few years ago and it was awful for us financially so I understand that side of things only too well. I just can’t understand why he has had to wait so long for an assessment but being in my own position I do in a way. My problem is that I have to go to another health

board for treatment my hospi


doesn’t have the software to do the scan needed plus my G.P can’t do anything because of that. It’s left to me to fight on 😡. I’m hoping when I phone on Wednesday I’ll get some kind of answer. Fingers crossed for both of us .🤞🏼🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿


Fingers crossed for you, I really hope they can sort things out for you. It must all be such a worry for you!! He’s self employed and isn’t entitled to anything while he is in there!! 🤞 x


Hopefully, life gets better for you both , at least you still have him all be it with lots of difficulties . What a life eh?? I had to laugh when my g.p said, no stress, no exercise and no sexual activity lol . There’s me got tickets for the Rolling Stones in June , waited 50 years to see them 😱


Yes I know, I am lucky that he is still here and has no physical disabilities, it’s just all going to take time! Ha ha good for you!!! 😀

1 like

Hola :)

Maybe this will help.

I was in my coma for over 4 months and didn't come home even for a visit for 6 months so I can relate in some ways. Physically, I have a 'brachial plexus' injury which if you don't already know - is a serious nerve damage that entails connection issues so my left arm and my wrist just stopped function.

But, this isn't about my sad story. Your husband, like every living mammal on Earth, will see some variation/form of recovery and I sincerely hope he experiences a full recovery :)

My memory is not yet as good as it once was, but it's remarkably improved in the past 4 years since my accident.

At first, I couldn't speak, stay awake for longer than 20 minutes, couldn't walk, couldn't feed myself, couldn't not pee myself etc., but after time it all came back.

The one and only tip I can offer based on my own personal experience is:

*Vitamin B12 tablets a MUST*

Take a notepad or a wall calendar and ask your husband when he first wakes up and comes around - to think of 3 random words and to write them on the notepad or wall calendar. If it's a wall calendar like I used, ask him to always write his words on today's 'date'.

Then take the Calendar away and at tea time ask him what words he wrote and compare his recollection to the calendar and if it's all correct, just put a check mark and put it back on the wall until the next day. If he struggles that's obviously totally normal, but when he starts seeing check marks he'll get a sense of accomplishment no matter how small and like it did with me, it can trigger memory improvement.

Getting him into it though from the Word GO is very important. You don't want to clap like a seal when he does well. Smile and reward him by quickly and normally recognising he did well, but maybe be mindful that he's still a man and feeling like a handicapped child can make him feel belittled and he'll put his back up.

Hope my two cents is useful to you.

Good luck with everything :)

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Hi Treetate,

I'm sure any doctors/experts will tell you there is no standard recovery pattern and that each patients experience can differ wildy so I can only tell you my experience regarding my mum who has similar symptoms.

It's been 2 years now and her memory has improved dramatically from where she was 11 weeks in (when she was like a stuck record every 15 minutes). The recovery is so incremental that you barely notice when it's happening, but it is. She is now capable of being left alone and having proper converstaions, though TV programmes and multi-way conversations are difficult...She still forgets the previous day and sometimes even that morning, reseting again, but sometimes through repetition things do begin to set in.

Leaving notes helped us. Diaries are indeed hit and miss (she'll forget). Eye catching pictures with notes attached too. Depending on your husband, push him (if you push my mum she works harder), but sometimes people hate feeling tested. Ultimately, it's a waiting game, but things will get better, it's just the waiting that is so hard.

I'd recommend getting in touch with all the local support groups you can. Meeting up in drop-ins for advice on whats available to you both. Headway definitely do them. Otherwise GP's and other charities. Now is the time to lean on friends and family as that's what they're there for.


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