The very worst thing is the fear. It nudges me awake in the night, insists that now my headache is beyond bearable, nags me to get down to the 24-hour medical centre right away. It hints my child will have to finish growing up without me, my man can’t cope, no-one else could possibly understand my way of filing papers.
Not that all the rest is easier. The confusion of odd symptoms like suddenly going deaf in one ear, wondering how come I can’t envisage a familiar driving route, searching the sky for the jumbo jet flypast only to find it’s happening inside my head, and the infuriating tinnitus. The disorientation of my brain swimming a split second behind my turning skull and swinging too far round before settling back eventually in the right place. And the hurt that, without blackout or blood, people call my injury “not very serious”.
Darkened bedroom; dulled cutting edge; bulging, throbbing to-do list; I say it’s serious.
Written by
BarbadosKay
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Not easy to live with. It's challenging you to new limits. You put into words so well what some people pass of as not worth bothering about. People might take concussion more seriously if they read that. Minor injuries can have profound effects that seem anything but minor.
One of the strange things I have noticed over the years is because you are a "walking wounded" and in a life threatening state and not in danger to yourself or others the medical profession aren't necessarily in a rush to fix you. Indeed many of us have found that trying to get better is in our hands.
Be prepared for a long and often frustrating road to improving. Remember improving is the goal recovering is the holy grail
Thank Sospan. These are injuries no-one can see and touch. And prognosis information is sketchy and contradictory. Makes it all the more frightening. Good luck to all on the quest for that holy grail of recovery!
Hello, Barbados Kay. I'm really sorry to hear that you are at this scary stage of recovery from brain injury. It's not a fun place to be. All I can say is, you are not alone: it feels like the loneliest place in the world sometimes, but there are (sadly) so many of us who can relate to your symptoms and feelings.
4 years after my own 'minor' TBI, I am pretty much well now - some minor symptoms which I guess I'm stuck with! - but in my first 2 years I surfed the net compulsively looking for any information on what on earth was happening to me. Knowing that other people had been there was reassuring. If you feel the same, you might like to take a look at this American case history, for example: washingtonian.com/articles/.... My own story is told here: dailymail.co.uk/health/arti....
I wish you well with your recovery, and with the long slow process it takes. All the best.
Aelfwyn, many thanks for both these links. I read both with great interest. You are right - it is so helpful to know that other people have been through this too. Wishing you well
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I WAS AFTER MY ABI. IT IS HORRENDOUS ESPECIALLY THE PAIN. YOU DO ADAPT TO YOUR 'NEW' LIFE & FIND YOUR COPING MECHANISMS FOR THE SYMPTOMS. . YOU LEARN TO READ YOUR BODY & MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS FOR YOU. IT MAY TAKE A WHILE & ISN'T EASY BUT IT DOES COME.
Thank you, Zeblet. It is good to know I'm not alone...but I am sorry that you and others have gone through this too. Thanks also for the encouragement that it does come
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Not posted my thought for ages
Serious head injury
Dithering about my eyesight
Coping with a serious injury
Worried about concussion
