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Not posted my thought for ages

So now is the time.

5+ years on and I’m still getting overwhelmed.

When faced with problems or issues I can’t sort immediately. I get soooooo stressed it’s untrue.

I could always work things through logically to find solutions, now I find I have to sort it NOW. Or my brain goes into melt down and I end up a blubbering wreck and I can’t function on any level.

The answer is I just need to “ pootle” along in my own little world with no input from any one else. But, what kind of life is that?

Does any one else find you wake up in the morning with a problem you’d not given a second thought to before, at the forefront of your thoughts and you have to deal with it immediately. It’s like your brain has been sifting through things while you are asleep and it goes 💡this needs dealing with, and it’s all you can think of. Not for the first time I’ve been up at 4am Trying to deal with an issue, and such frustration when you can’t contact anyone TIL 9am!

My husband gets so exasperated with me and I do try to be patient, but this is me now, I don’t like it but I have to deal with it, and I am trying my best.

It’s just all so exhausting!

I must admit I’ve stopped writing in my journal so maybe I need to start again, it gets all those thoughts out that are stressing me, hence this post. At least it feels like somebody may be listening.

Thank you all for your patience, I’m sure normalise service will resume soon. Xx

Janet

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Hi Janet,

Would it help if you kept a notebook and wrote the problem in it with a couple of lists for and against. It might help you to put the problem into perspective. Maybe it wouldn't work? Just a suggestion.

Hope you are well.

Jan

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Thanks Jan,

Thing is I know what I should be doing I just don't do it.

It's been a difficult year, we found out at youngest was on the autistic spectrum and although he has got his degree( that was a strain and a half) he's now been offered a good job but I can't seem to instil any urgency over following up with documents etc that they want.

I know I should let him do it his way it just causes me major meltdowns. I think he has disposed of all paperwork that I sent with him to uni and now we are having to chase up proof of his flats he was in. Still may make him think twice about such things in the future.

And yes I really am ok.

Janet xxx

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I know exactly what you mean. I have two grandsons like that - can't seem to get through to them that they need to do things NOW. One got a degree but has been driving a taxi for two years as he can't seem to get motivated to find a decent job. Funny, because the one we thought could be slightly autistic has proved us wrong, got a fabulous apprenticeship, a great job and then went off surfing for 6 months on the money he had saved. Now has a job working on a massive yacht where he is earning lots of money and intends to come back and buy a house when he has saved enough. And he was the one we worried about!! I think spending too much time worrying about them doesn't do a scrap of good.

Jan x

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Precisely, I know all of this but can’t stop my brain. It’s gone into overdrive this morning, even imagining someone will have found those documents and stolen his identity. So, so silly I know but that is the nature of the east I now live with. Aaarghh!

He wanted to do the degree, have the student experience like his brother and sister and I knew it would bea challenge for him, not imagining why, we’re just all learning to live with his foibles now.

It doesn’t help that he’s just been for a long weekend to Berlin to visit his sister and didn’t return his pre- employment check forms before he want, hence me tanting by text to him on Saturday. Still he’ll be home within the hour, so it’ll all get sorted as the day progresses.

And. Breathe!!!!!

Glad your grandsons are doing ok. This is my own fault for having 4 children, over 2 marriages. I have 4 granddaughters too, but I can somehow leave their parents to worry over them, probably because I’m still worrying over mine.

Is all well with you?

J

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Things aren't too bad here. I know how your husband feels when you say it drives him mad - that is how I am with Mike often. He can be fine one day, 'away with the fairies' the next. The trouble is, he always manages to seem reasonably OK with friends and I am sure they don't believe me that there are many nights when I have to put him to bed as he cannot remember how to clean his teeth, etc.

Never mind, can't do much about it - it is how it is. Would love things to be different but no amount of wishing will change it.

Sit down, take deep breaths and assume that everything will come right with your son in the end, whatever you do.

Best wishes

Jan x

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Sounds like every other day to me, you're not alone! I've lost count of the amount of times I've been up in before the tweeting ones just sorting out random crap that I hadn't even thought of the day before. Next time it happens to you, give me a call :)

Sending you my very best, as ever,

Andy x

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Thanks Andy, I'm trying to do the breathe deep and keep calm.

Hopefully it'll sort itself soon xxx

Janet x

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I think I've become nocturnal in any case Janet. Daytime stimulus is enough to keep my pea-brain in a spin, and only in the quietness of night do I get clarity. So that's when I make to-do lists and search for solutions to various problems.

But I truly empathise with the 'Got to do this NOW' at any cost' attitude. My daughter asks, do I think my clothes will turn to rags and my car into a pumpkin ?

I must say I've stepped back somewhat from my son & daughter's issues, knowing that whatever I say they'll do what I did at their age, and please themselves ! They know I'll be there in a heartbeat though in an emergency.

Still, your son's much younger than mine Janet and, the autism aside, I remember how I worried myself half to death over mine at that age. He's my champion now, and when David looks back at all you've done for him, he'll be yours I'm sure.

And............breeeeea-th ........😲 E. xxx 😖

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😘

Those beta blockers are a godsend now ive found them😬

Janet x

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