Hi, my husband was subject to an aggressive attack 7 weeks ago at our house in Spain. He has frontal lobe damage. Does life get better?

He is 42 had a 6 hour op to clean out the bleeding. His damage is more right than left side, he was in an induced coma for 12 days but was released from hospital and he should not have been as his behaviour became the exact opposite to how it was beforehand, angry, aggressive quite awful actually. He is now in a rehab hospital in the north of the country and doing better. Sometimes I see him as he used to be but a lot of the time no. He has excellent long term memory, no speech issues, continues to speak French English and his basic Spanish and physically he is doing way better. His concentration varies as does his motivation. Anyone else going through this or has experience of this? I feel great each morning and very positive to start another day but by the end of the night I question everything. I guess I'm just going through the normal emotions and know however difficult it is for me, he is the one who has fo do all the work, I can't do it for him. I can only support and push him (in a nice way). Help and advice anyone?

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  • So difficult and my heart goes out to you, you ask if life gets better, and it probably will but everyone recovers at their own pace and to a different degree, I am nearly 2 years on from my illness and it was viral encephalitis but a lot of the lasting effects are the same. He will need your support and he will get frustrated when he finds it difficult to perform tasks he once found easy, but practice practice practice no matter how tedious is the answer. I likened my brain to that of a baby/ child having to re- establish those broken pathways or make new ones, so don't be downhearted if you have to go back to perform things as a child does and remember how long that can take, they don't learn things overnight.

    I persevered with sudokus and jigsaws and I was a bit dyslexic at first, couldn't remember pin numbers and passwords or how to use my phone or the tv remote to anything like that, I still have trouble with new technology but don't beat myself up just tackle things methodically and write things down, the memory can be a bit hit or miss.

    So patience is the watchword, keep a diary to record those small steps forward and you'll be amazed how far you go xxxx

    Love Janet xxxxxx

  • things take time but do get betterI had an avm stroke on June 1st 2010 and am still recovering a bit more every day you can email me direct [removed by admin] and I will offer advice I was helped by Arni Institute you can read about it on kindle if you haven't got one software download is free and the books are cheap all the money goes to ArniInstitute If you check their website soon you will see how I have progressed or Face book Peter Corfield Langres or very shortly on you tube new year breakthrough or twitter I will do anything to help raise money and support carers and families kindle books are called Peters stroke Of Luck Part1/2

  • Hi,

    We had to remove the email address in the post as per our guidelines, but you can send a private message on here by clicking a username and the 'send a message' button on the next screen.

    Best wishes,


  • sorry to read your story pipouch, and as the others said, it is an individual story for everyone with a brain injury and it can sometimes be as difficult for the carer as for the person it happened to, from what I have read on the Headway posts. Mine was a spontaneous aneurysm and brain bleed, 9 months ago, last March in SW France and I had no support from my husband as we had separated here a few weeks before.

    Love, patience and tolerance will be needed from you in large doses. Did you move as well to the N but whether yes or no, I hope you and your husband will have a good support network of friends close to you, because their support for you will help you support your husband as well. Mood changes, memory problems, tiredness, lack of appetite, vision or hearing problems, have been many of the issues discussed here on these forums, by some of members or families, You will also find a good network of support here, as I have, so please do not hesitate to come back and share your concerns. I hope 2014 will be a better year for you both. x

  • Hello, welcome to our world. You'll find many like minded people on this website. I too suffered the trauma of being the "victim". I had mine in 2004 and life does improve. So long as you are positive about embracing change. Life is not going to be the same anymore. I looked at life from the perspective that I was going to enjoy "learning" again. There is a bright side.

  • Fairly typical for a RFL injury. He needs the rehab. so he can re-learn how to learn more effectively. He also needs therapy for impulse control. The short term memory is another issue and can lead to a great deal of frustration on his part. He needs to slow down and think things out. Once he accepts that he is post TBI and will never be quite the same again he should settle down. When he acts out his frustrations he needs to be reminded that it is a result of his brain injury and that you understand. What he doesn't need is you to be critical of his actions. I know this because I had a RFL TBI at age 42 in 2002, went through numerous surgeries including a crainiotomy for a large subdural hematoma. I now have 2 ventricular peritoneal shunts to drain my ventricles. It took a few years before I showed any marked improvement and I am considered disabled to to poor Executive and Cognitive functioning. I have been very fortunate to have a supporting wife who understands. Good luck and I wish you the best.

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