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Newbie - Be Gentle

Newbie - Be Gentle

Hi Everyone!

Well I've just joined so thought I'd bore you with my story...

I'm 3 months after my accident, which was falling off my mountain bike on a road section between wood trails, I hit some gravel at the foot of the hill and wiped out and landed on my head, cracking my helmet(though lucky i was wearing one). I was unconscious and taken to Salisbury hospital in an ambulance and CT scanned.

The next two weeks I pretty much slept. Weeks after that I felt like I was living a really realistic dream, but carrying out day to day duties, I was even driving. Then I went through a stage of feeling more with it but not myself...

Now I feel like I'm pretty much there, but not 100% myself again, will I ever?

My emotional and behavioural effects have been up and down like a rollercoaster, but feel theres light at the end of the tunnel. I still get tired when I spent the day thinking... I'm an engineer so spend the day thinking/concentrating.

Friends say I'm like a V12 running on 11 cylinders, and those closest to me say I need help/counselling... but don't I just need time to fully recover? But would talking about what Ive gone through help? I don;t know what happened and feel Ive lost 3 months of my life and don;t understand why or how...

Weird one, hope everyone is well and will contribute to my blog?



17 Replies

first of welcome to the group

secondly don't underestimate therapy, i truly believed that psychiatrists and counselors were made up jobs, as you just got on with life.

but now, i actually owe my life to them.

remember not all counseling is the same, the most affective for head ijuries seems to be CBT cognitive behavioural Therapy, but if you have that the one thing i recommend is that you are seeing an actual CBT therapist rather than a counselor using CBT techniques.

fully recovering from a head injury can be difficult and 3 months is not a very long time in terms of a head injury. if you find you are struggling and questioning if you need therapy, then chances are you may need it.

also it can take quite a while to get to see a CBT therapist, so it might be worth asking for a refral to one now, and then just seeing how you get on, that way when you eventually get an appointment, you can decide whether you need it then or not, but at least you have the process started and anticipating any problems

hope this helps a bit


Strange how we can be so very hard on ourselves, as if we had applauded the mailstrom of some difficaulty. Needless to say, it is a huge - and sometimes, odd adventure.


Hi Dom and welcome :)

I personally think, and know many on this site would agree, 3 months is no time to recover. Listen to those closest to you and get help.

I recommend you speak to Headways confidential nurse led helpline.....0808 800 2244

They will listen to you and your story (as told above) ask questions, and will point you in the right direction for any necessary help.

Go on give them a call..........they don't bite :)

Takecare Jo


Hello Dom. There's nothing I would want to add to the existing comments except to say welcome & see you around.

Best wishes, cat :-)


Hey Dom, and welcome =) And not bored yet!

Horrible thing to happen to to you but yes, 3 months is early days. I'm 6 months in now and still have a "wtf? what's hapenning to me?" mentality.

Give therapy / counselling a try, you've got nothing to lose. If it's not for you, so be it; we're always here if you need to vent. Personally I'd rather come on here, but you need to do what works best for you personally and try out all the options.

As for being 100% there in terms of your former life? I'm not...but it's not so bad.

Be kind to yourself, and we'll be around if you need us.


Thank you all for such a warm welcome. Think I'm gonna feel very at home here... It's odd, I'm not convinced I need specific help, just rest, sleep and time to get better...

I'm here and have moments of clarity and feel "normal"... But then I crumble under pressure... And get frustrated at myself, say if I fumble and drop something or don't feel totally with it...

I feel I'm getting somewhere and much improved to how I was and doing alot more, both at work and with family life... I feel lucky in that respect though would have preferred to broken a bone than having this invisible damage, that I appear normal to everyone else pretty much...

Thanks for the replies...



Hi I!m always a bit later than everyone else cos I wait for the email in the morning!, my welcome is just as warm for all that, I'm not a great one for social networking but this is great.(It's prolly my age, I'm one of the oldies 60 now) we have a lot of different experiences to share if and when you need them, butbe kind to yourself and don't try torun before you can walk , best wishes Janetx


Very best wishs to you, and keep strong, everything takes so long, and its so frustrating, but keep positive, its a long road but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Best wishes, Molly


Well I sit here at work, it's Friday lunchtime... I used to get a Friday feeling, not anymore! :( My concept of time has been all out of sync since my accident, doesnt feel like a certain time... And everyday feels like a Groundhog day, i improve a little but then it flatlines... why is my brain playing tricks on me, can I actually convince it not too?

Hope you all have a good weekend, anyone got anything good planned!?



You've done really well to be working again after three months so have patience. My brain haemorrhage was 18 months ago and the only noticeable improvements for me have been in the last six months.

We all progress at different rates so I'm afraid it's a 'wait & see' situation. It's such early days to be expecting to run on all cylinders and when it happens you probably won't even notice it'll be so gradual.

Your brain isn't playing tricks on you it's having to readjust after a serious bashing and you'll need to allow it to rest occasionally.......the healing process will continue for much longer than three months.

I hope the sun shines tomorrow.......I want to experiment with my new bike........see if my balance has improved. You have a good weekend too. :-)


Well be carefull and wear a helmet! ;-)


The only advice I can give is that with Brain Injury, your brain has to work twice as hard as normal which leads to the tiredness. So sleeping or napping is OK, how's your memory?


Hello Dom

I cycle too and have been wearing a crash helmet since my friend B sustained a serious brain injury falling from a bike.

I'm interested in your comment that those close to you have suggested therapy / counselling and you feel you need time to recover.

My friend B (whose circumstances are different to yours) does not see that the therapy being offered is needed by her. I think B is going to need a lot of help for a long while and I worry that if she doesn't make use of it now later down the line it won't be available to her via the NHS.

Are your friends / family able to explain and give examples of why they believe therapy is needed and how they think it will help? And if so would that be helpful for you to know so that you can make a decision?

Best wishes



See a councillor, I wish I had a long time ago, and you may as well as the service is there.


good on ya for telling yourself theres nothing rong and carringon like before!. But the thing is the most important part of being able to function is to have a brain to do it and yours had had a right knock!! so expect...Computer says NO syndrome! lol.

No one will understand unless they have had a TBI themselves or have studied it widey. and if you want theropy then its a neuro phycologist you want. one who knows why your emotions and memory. planning organising, co ordintion . lack of patience and dissapointment can all lead to servere FUSTRATION.and TIERDNESS. but one of those profesionals are like rocking horse tish.!

your best way of learning what its all about and why is reading stuff on here and using that fab huge library to research called GOOGLE.Then when you know why,what ,where ,who and how its a case of getting the rest of the people you know to understand it too.Coz those who don't will expect you to be able to carry on as before..the more you do the less they will . be good to yourself my love. oh and Welcome Dom...ps forgot spel chek oops


Well it's one step forward one step back for me... been feeling a little more myself the last week, either that or I'm getting more used to the way i am now.. I hope its the former... but I feel a little improvement and then it plateauxs and i'm stuck like this and know i'm not right...

Went to my cousins wedding all day saturday even drove back getting home late at 10:30pm ish... and a bbq on sunday evening, so getting back into family/social life and able to make it past 10pm now... but I still get tired...

Someone mentioned memory... My long term memory is great, it's my short term memory which is awful, probably reson my concept of time is affected... like what di i do this morning, whats led me up to this point today, did i drive to work? Oh yeah I actually got up, got my 4 year old up, got dressed,ironed my shirt, washed, brushed teeth did hair then got my 6 month old up got her changed etc dropped them her at grandparents and took the other one to nursery... but had to think about that it's doesn't flow like it did... I have to sometimes go back to check whether i locked the front door/turned the iron off, or forget i actually moved something i can't find...

Couple of things, i have my work "appraisal" this afternoon and i have my neurologist appointment this thursday...

Also looking into counselling following yet another email from Sarah Allen of Headway.

My typings gone to pot too, keep hitting caps lock instead of 'A' and having to press delete ALOT!


Best wishes to all,



Hi Dom, welcome! I had an ICH in 1997 & only found the group about a couple of weeks ago - it took a long time to find people who truly understand but now I have it's brilliant-the best support I've had!. I think being able to share your story with others & ask as many questions as you like or just have a good moan to fellow sufferes is the best therapy you can have. Sadly professional therapists didn't really work for me.

Also sadly 3 months is a very short time for recovery, just let your brain 'be' so it ( & you) can get to it's new modus operandi. Your 100% becomes a new 100%, I can't do a lot of the stuff I used to but have found things I had never done before instead. You do adjust to the new you so take it easy & it'll come


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