Disgusted with specialist

[karenanne]

Due to severe head injuries,and after 6 months of being in various hosps and then the marvellous work done at brain rehab in wishaw,hubby came home end of January and has been getting worse as time goes on.the paranoia is worse than ever and temper is becoming uncontrollable.filled in reach team who are currently working with him and told them we need help.the aggression is becoming worse and we have 8 year d daughter to consider.the close bond with her and son has been severed by injuries,I was well angry after specialist called me to discuss options of help.carer coming in,no way and that's what I'm here for,possible medication, mmm not sure,then was told if hubby becomes physical then social services will come take out kids away.like I needed to hear that from a so called specialist.i have to commend the reach team though as been excellent but this specialist has me disliking him more and more

[bikerlifestyle]

anger was a real problem for me too CBT was the biggest thing that helped with the anger

normal anger management is not ideal for people with anger issues from a head injury, so don't let them talk you into it,

they put me on lithium for my aggression and it knocked me out i just slept all the time

trust me it really does get better and the anger can be addressed, but seeking help as soon as possible is the best step

i know this is no consolation but non of the anger is personal, i was a vile horrible person, and really didn't know what i was saying or doing or how bad i was to others, now i have tecniques in places to deal with my anger so things will get better

i think talking to headway is the best step here

Free helpline 0808 800 2244

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[karenanne in reply to bikerlifestyle]

Thank you for that on the meds.i am very reluctant for them to consider that option.my worry is will cause more harm than good.i know its not personal but still very hard to take very nasty verbal a use.i feel they should be working on helping him manage things better just like u have gone thru.i am glad you have come through your injuries and are doing well.must have been really hard for you to hear about how you were with other xx

[bikerlifestyle]

don't get me wrong i am not saying meds are bad, i really needed my meds and still do, so please don't discount medication, that's not what i was saying, lithium is quite potent i was trying to give you an example of how extreme my aggression was.

please do consider meds, they can help a lot, making both your lives easier, and as cbt takes can take a while to access and work so meds may be a short term solution.

you are only 6 months in, this is very early days, things may look bleak, there is no quick fix here sadly, a head injury takes time as well as meds and therapy to start giving any sense of normality back, i would fight to get CBT as soon as you can.

i wont lie to you, this is not going to be easy, and headway can offer better advice and information than i can.

so be worth phoning them

[cat3]

Sorry, karenanne, to hear of your awful predicament. Just wanted to give you my best wishes.

It's good you're talking to biker....he obviously knows what you're going through. Like him, I would seriously consider the medication option....it might just provide the respite you all need until your man has healed much more. It really could change all your lives for the better. cat x

[karenanne]

Thanks biker.your advice is great and I think it's good to hear it from someone's point of view who has gone thru this although I am sorry you hav had to.can you please tell what CBT is.meeting is arranged with hubbies occupational therapist,myself,hubby and this so called specialist to see how we move on and i wiil def think about the medication dide.I'm open to any options at this moment.thank you cat also for your advice.best wishes to you both xx

[MrPBH in reply to karenanne]

Glad you're getting the right advice - though I've not shared any info with 'bikerlifestyle' it sounds like we've been through similar events. The advice he's given is spot-on, but please remember - everyone's different!

My 'incident' happened over twenty years ago - I've seen so many different therapists with no success - earlier this year (20 years on) I saw a neuropsychiatric consultant who finally managed to see things in perspective.

What biker says, about CBT, is absolutely right. Many do say they offer it - but many simply think they do, but in fact don't. I've seen several of them that, in fact, only made it worse.........

Headway are excellent - but sometimes I found it difficult to pry info from them, it can be a rough journey, but it does make one admire the people who've got what it takes.

[bikerlifestyle]

CBT is cognitive behavioural therapy

try and make sure you see a cognitive behavioural therapist rather than a councillor using CBT techniques, i dont know how it helps really because they talk to you and challenge your behaviour as well as teach you how to avoid getting angry.

and whilst i found it doesn't get rid of it, it sort of makes it less important and less outward.

i have had to learn not to put my self in situations where i can get angry, as its usually all or nothing, and the times i should get angry i tend to be emotionless.

discuss meds with the doctor, as they can help a lot. and try and get a refereal to a cbt therapist as soon as possible, as i know the waiting lists can be quite long

have you spoke to the staff at headway? they really do know what they are talking about and are fantastic

[pollyanne]

Some 'specialists' just dont seem to be in the real world! Just an idea but have you had hormone tests?

[Onceaborderer]

I know how angry and frustrated you must feel, I have suffered from numerous head/brain injuries for many many years, I found it very difficult to cope with my kids and I have five ranging from 3 to 16. I moved from Edinburgh to Harrogate where me and the wife had no support network in place, my 16 year old son has ADD & ODD and can be very testing. I would phone the social work department asking for support and it was refused, and when I said if they didn't support us I was afraid whst might happen to my son. Instead of support a children at risk meeting was called and we were informed that all the kids were at risk of being taken from us. My point is they are uncaring and unwilling to support even when there are underlying problems they make you out to be monsters when all you want is help because you become scared of lashing out.