Turn it on its head

[Jazymay]

I have assumed that my body has had physical memories of abuse where I make random movements or muscle groups tense or tremor. I freeze mid walk and have had periods of stuttering and near unconsciousness. One period of unconsciousness in hospital. I have assumed this for 10 years. This occurs without any specific recall. I have experienced flashbacks which are different where I can see an experience and my body moves accordingly. Interestingly, my body was behaving very strangely for 2 years before I was diagnosed with cptsd, and on rare occasions before that. For the previous 2 years I put it down to extreme migraines whichich started in 2004 and progressively got worse until ptsd medication reduced them drastically as a side effect in around 2012. I was diagnosed with cptsd in 2009. It is noteworthy that the trauma occurred during early childhood and I had a dysfunctional family.

I have always had migraines 2 or 3 times a month. I have had fibro type symptoms on and off all my life. I wonder if the stress of cptsd has simply aggravated a condition i have always had? Especially considering the overlapping migraine, fibro and also restless legs. My thoughts are that perhaps my nervous system has always been dysfunctional. Maybe age is also a factor? I am now 46. I have always found working very difficult physically and rarely worked full time. I struggled with feeling fluey most of that time. Even 16 to 18 years old I was often exhausted, and slept after school, and got, what I know now to be migraines.

I am thinking out loud here, but I do wonder if this is all connected and I have been looking at it upside down!

Any thoughts would be very interesting.

Jx

[AjaStar]

Our brains are just wired wrong, I don’t think it has anything to do with childhood trauma. Stress exacerbates any medical condition, it brings out the worse in any disease.

[Jazymay in reply to AjaStar]

That is my argument. I completely agree with you.

[Justdrea81]

This sounds a lot like me, except I don't have any childhood trauma. My issues also started as migraines, and then I ended up with a fibro diagnosis as well. But I think this has always been going on. Out of desperation I started low dose naltrexone. It has literally given me my life back. I had to go to a naturapath to get it prescribed, but it was so worth it. 6 months after starting it and I'm working full time. I'm driving (except for at night). I do get tired after work, and I still need one "rest day" on the weekends. However, I can function now.

[Jazymay in reply to Justdrea81]

You see? Its very interesting, and i have seen people say it a number of times. There also seem to be quite a lot of people with multiple diagnoses of a neuro/autoimmune nature. I think this is very relevant.

Thanks for your reply.

J

[Jazymay]

That was great to read. Thank you for the effort. Especially thank you for the IT part. That was wonderfully put!!!! Such a fantastic analogy and it really gave a visual for what I am trying to explain. Thank you so much. The user error is perfect, and funny, it reminds me of the IT crowd, "Did you switch it off and on again?" If only we could, hey?

I also have lots of little strange things all day. Tiny stabs here, burning in that spot, tingling, hot spots, cold spots. All of which come and go and move around. They hurt and irritate, but don't really stop me doing anything and are soon forgotten.

O also agree with doing more than others. I have walked my dog a couple of times this week, for her benefit, which made me feel good and closer to her. I have still made some good food, even if it was thrown into a slow cooker. I am far from good, but I try to do as much as I can and then flop onto the couch in the afternoon.

Honestly, it was great to identify with so much. Thank you.

J

[Ccaldwell]

It is interesting to note that for some of us ACE, (Adverse Childhood Experiences ) is a factor in predisposing us to development of FND/PTSD. There is substantial research to show that when a child experiences trauma, the brain is changed. I have found some very helpful TED talks online on the subject which you may find interesting.

[Jazymay in reply to Ccaldwell]

Yes, I would find them interesting. Thanks.