On Wednesday after another long haul to the hospital, I arrived home virtually on my knees, in so much pain that I decided to end my life. It was no cry for help, just the need to be out of this pain.
I had told 3 different doctors that I could't cope any longer, but wasn't taken seriously. So I took a massive overdose & waited to die, except that I didn't. An unexpected visitor found me the next day. I was rushed to hospital & spent several hours on the observation ward before being discharged that evening. I was sent home alone in a taxi which charged £60 for a fare that shouldn't be even half that & left to fend for myself. I couldn't even make a cup of tea because I was too shaky & unsafe to do so. 2 days later I'm still feeling dreadful, not least because I can't get any more medication until I see my GP on Thursday, so I have to cope without any pain relief until then.
I know that I shouldn't have done it, I know it was wrong & am certainly not looking for sympathy, but I feel if someone had listened earlier maybe this wouldn't have happened. I now have to pick up the pieces & try & regain some strength & my confidence. But the biggest irony is that yesterday during a phone consultation with a GP ( couldn't get an appointment!) I was informed that my local practice holds monthly fibromyalgia clinics. Would't it have been a good idea to tell me when I was crying in pain?