medical retirement

[Annemarie1967]

hi folks, just a question regarding work. I was diagnosed with ME 30 yrs ago and through many flare ups and absences from work I’ve been told it’s Fibromyalgia, I’ve tried to get an explanation, ie is it one , is it both ,?? always hoping that some major medical breakthrough would come and I would be able to access treatment for whichever . I’m just fobbed off. Anyway following Covid my symptoms have been constant 6 months now with no let up. 🥲. I’m off sick from work and I think they are going to consider either lack of capacity or medical retirement . Has anyone here been through anything similar? Don’t feel ready to retire at 55 but no hope of returning to work either 🥲 thanks in advance ❤️

[Blearyeyed]

There are lots of possible pieces of advice in Pinned Posts or Topics , under Benefits and work which you can click on , on the right side bar of the page with your post on until someone with experience of this gives you a reply.

My experience, as a self employed Nature Artist , was that my various conditions forced me to retire myself , and the benefits to me were limited. I'm only now getting my head around PIP and Disability benefits as I needed a comprehensive diagnosis of everything so I felt ready to start.

COVID and other severe bouts of infection can , and has caused that final huge flare in symptoms or long term deterioration of their conditions for many people with Fibro and CFS/ ME. Particularly so for those with both conditions which is common, or one of these health issues coupled to another one.

One thing I needed to do was really get honest with myself. Could I continue doing the physically active work I was doing?

Could I even do the work reliably in terms of commissions or contracted hours at all?

Could I manage part time or Flexi hours?

Was I ever going to get well enough to reliably do a consistent set of shifts or hours every week again without killing myself or constantly being off work for months with the backlash?

Could I afford to retire entirely even with benefits ( I was 47) ?

Was it time to make a change in what I did to be able to continue to do some paid work but not cause such damage to my health?

Was there anything else I also wanted to do for work that could easily be adapted to my health issues and energy needs?

I can't work now for people, I cannot reliably say I will be there on a given day or for a period time consistently without a flare coming to ruin that plan. The stress of knowing I had to do it or of letting people down added a huge burden and more flares.

Some bosses are horrible and aren't flexible and understanding and their prejudice and lack of consideration causes Fibro and other Chronically ill people out of work unfairly everyday and they deserve penalising for it.

But some employers do try , they get the occupational help in for you , get the aids , take advice on how to help you stay in work , and even then it's not enough and you still need to take a lot of time off work. Depending on the type of job it is , sometimes it just can't work for you or the employer , and your work friends when they can't plan a work week , meetings , or for a deadline properly because of not being sure if you will be able to come in then it's not fair to them.

If you've tried all the options of work place assistance or lower hours , or , you have been off work for a very long time and still can't see a time in the near future that you can envisage putting your work pants on its time to ask big questions.

It helps to take a deep breath , no matter how upsetting and hurtful it can be, and work out which of those situations you have in your workplace. Some jobs or hours just don't fit with certain Pain illnesses , then it's good to look for changes that keep you with the living you need but also enjoying what you are doing and having more life balance.

I couldn't entirely lose an income , even if I have benefits. So , I looked for flexible things that I could do , less physical work or mental stress. I turned to smaller projects and making money from my skills by selling smaller work , using the internet for sales and work and looking for small , flexible jobs through commission and employment sites (which can show offers of all sorts of remote or work from home opportunities). I scaled down my life in lots of ways , included only what I needed to do and wanted to do , not just the things I felt I should be doing or had to do. Making changes also reduced my outgoings . I suppose I am mainly retired but still doing some work , social things when I can , and having quality time with those that I love instead of crying on the sofa in pain asking people not to hug me.

It made a big difference.

Sorry for not adding more practical advice , but I hope what I've written will help you to clear the chaos a little as you think about what you want to do , Bee

[Lulu_Lollipop]

Hi Annemarie, sorry you are suffering from such illness. Have you been told that your employers are thinking of those things? I was dismissed from work in December 2020. Unfit for job and no adjustments would be made. A long story that I will try to keep simple...

In 2016 I was diagnosed with a large brain aneurysm, found by chance by ENT man investigating my tinnitus. This coincided with my husband of 30 years dumping me and our sons and I had a horrible divorce to contend with during this worry, the surgery and recovery. I was off work until September 2018 when I went back really out of desperation for something solid in life and I needed the money. The divorce cost me over twice my annual salary.

To start with work was good. I returned to my part-time hours and colleagues were glad to have me back and they helped phase me in. After my phased in 5 weeks though, their help turned more and more into resentment and I had pressure and curt, cold comments - "we all get tired, you know" sort of thing.

Eleven months after returning I had a particularly stressful week divorce-wise and work-wise and I had to see a doctor on the Thursday as I couldn't even talk. Had to write down what I needed to tell him. I didn't dare phone in sick on the Friday or the bank holiday Saturday when I woke up with half a tongue, half a face, my right arm and hand not working properly. I was dismissing it as a migraine and thought it'd soon pass. Worked a very busy shift at the shockingly busy building society. Couldn't talk properly, couldn't write properly, dropped a whole mug of coffee. People noticed I wasn't right, but didn't even suggest I take a break, go home, call an ambulance. When I got home my son called an ambulance as his first thought was stroke. Ambulanced in, but waited 6 hours for doctor to give me 4 aspirin and sent me home. Spent Sunday in bed. Monday I was worse. Son phoned for ambulance again and this time they scanned my head. Sent me home again. Then on the Thursday my younger son took me to see neuro consultant, who was surprised I hadn't been told I had indeed had a full-on stroke. Physio etc began. I was off work sick.

I had a few online meetings with boss and HR and a representative from our union. Ended up sitting in front of my laptop being told I was dismissed from work as unfit and no adjustments could be made. I just accepted it. There was no suggestion of help in the way of medical retirement, but I applied for it (3 times) and thankfully by the June of the following year (6 months on zero income) I was accepted as eligible for medical retirement and I have been living on £560 per month since then. Glad to have a lovely new man in my life. Without him I don't know where I'd be.

So please ask about your options and see what would suit you best. I hope you are treated better than I was. Thirty four years of service, dismissed with a bunch of flowers, but no get well card or sorry you're leaving card. I meet up with old colleagues from time to time and a few are still my friends, but one old colleague and friend recently greeted me with the words "So! What are you up to these days since you were sacked?" - that hit me hard in the heart and stomach. What do some people think of me?

Make sure you are treated better and please let me know how you get on xx

[Midori]

I would suggest you forestall them by asking your HR department about referring you for medical Retirement. Also see your doctor to see if he would recommend it , and if so, get a letter to that end.

Good luck. It can be a marathon,

Cheers, Midori

[Tillywhitesocks]

Hi hun feel so sad reading your story im quite similar to you as far as work and the fibro i lost my job theough the covid outbreak caused by fibro the flare ups are intense sometimes i cant walk people look at me as though im pretending one minute im fine nxt on the sofa crippled its not nice but all we can do is except that we have it and try to live round it sending fibro hugs and a pain free day hun xxx