it's just not worth living anymore..............

[soozie]

hi there,im a fibro ,me etc sufferer,for 4 yrs now,i cant work,socialize,or have any kind of a life.I have got to a stage where i don't have a purpose anymore to contrabute to my family life....... i'm always trapped in my house,no friends left since fibro & i just live/excist in my home........ my brain is so dead since finishing work (car accident) that even though i'm on lots of different meds ,i still feel like theres a big hole in my life. i have a long term boyfriend ,a 21 yr old daughter and my shih tzu..........there are times that i feel so lucky because some people are so much worse off than me but i'm still lost inside.I really dont see the point of living & being a burden on my family xxx what can i do.............. this condition is so dibilatating & has robbed me of being a normal person anymore............. please help me xxxxxxxxx

[serialchiller]

I thought that and even talked frankly to my wife about this, told her I thought of "doing away with myself" and how I was a burden to her. She said she understood my way of thinking, but even though you think you're a burden you are most certainly not. She told me that I had to except what I can and can't do, and if I wasn't here with her she didn't know how she would cope. You're family will not see you as a burden, they feel sorry because of the pain you're in, but without you and you're love their world would be shattered. Stay strong

[earthanhel]

I lost my sight without warning and after many test i was diagnoised with ms 2007, I have my sight "ish" now, then a year later I was diagnoised with fibro also... I have family but don't see anyone from one day to the next... my family have taken my illness badly, I find im reasuring them. yet inside inside I look forward to the day it does end.... I also have ashma... just received esa decision.. it appears I don't make the grade and my esn will stop on the 13th june...im annoyed..angry and at a loss as to what happens next... point being there is always someone worst off... up to now I feel sorry for myself which is not normally in my nature.....

[Hidden]

Firstly have you had a meds reveiw recently it may be that the meds you are on are actually not working for to as well as a different combo may do and they can contribute to you feeling like your brain is just not working and everything is too much trouble to think of....

I know exactly how you feel .. I have had to give up work downsize to a bungalow and give up so many hobbies that I took for granted ... I wondered what I was ever going to do to occupy my day...

I got my meds sorted and I have livened up mentally so I can read again my family treated me to this iPad for Christmas as I can no longer use a computer mouse or laptop mouse so I can tip away here with two fingers...

I can't drive anymore due to arthritis and meds not making it safe for me to be behind the wheel , but I applied for and got a disabled bus pass , I had to get my GP to write me a support letter but it was worth it as I can catch the hail and ride bus to my only local friend from practically my door to hers this has made so much difference to me knowing I can set out when I am able....

I have a husband and teenage son and I assure you you are not a burden .... Even on our worst days .... My son looks on it as a bonus as he says I am always here to collect parcels if he orders anything .....

I have had fibro 23 years I met my OH when I had fibro so my family are used to me...

So please if you haven't already make a GP appointment and see if you need a med change or some coucelling .... I have had some and can recommend it ,,,

Please let us know how you are getting on any time

VG x

[tulips123]

Your whole life has been turned upside down, no wonder you're feeling so low! I'm so glad you're not alone, but you def. need more support, someone who can help you to adjust mentally with a body that wont let you live the life you had. I'm sure there will still be ways to get that sense of fulfilment back. 4 years you've been struggling, many of us can really understand the way you feel. As VG has already said, there are different ways to go about things, and as she said the 1st step is to talk to your GP. Do your boyfriend & daughter realise how bad you feel?

Please, dont try to deal with this on your own. Life will never be the same, but that does not mean you will always feel the way you do right now. Everything changes, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. I wish you well. Tulip xx

[Cookie72]

Hi soozie sorry to hear that u are in such a bad place, we have all been there, ive had fibro and spondylosis of the lower spine, and Asthma since i was a kid that was over 50yrs ago, I went thru a phase of thinking life isnt worth living but, I took a long look at my family and I thought they will suffer more than me if I go, its those that you leave behind that will suffer so much if anything happened to you,I have also now been diagnosed with other serious illnesses and think to myself when is all this pain gonna end, I know its a bummer this fibro and its very debilitaing, but I have learnt to pace myself now, I havent been able to drive for thepast two years, so now go every where by bus,I know its not easy Soozie but hang in there, we are all in this together we all know what the other is going thru, and we are here for each other, so anytime you want to moan and rant on just come on here and have a go we will all understand,I dont think I have been much help to you but just wanted you to know Ive had it for over 50 yrs and it does get easier to accept, gentle cuddles for you ....wish you better ,,,,Dee xxx

[jillylin]

Gentle hugs. Please go see your GP and tell him/her how badly you feel. You will come through this but you need to ask for some help. Don't give up.

Hugs

Jillyxx

[ladymoth]

The depression that fibro brings is probably one of the worse facets of the disease - even without the pain, depression can make you feel that you don't want to go on living.

The good news is that you can be treated, and treatment is usually very effective, bringing with it a good chance of less pain as well as improved mood.

Do please go to your GP and tell him that you are having suicidal feelings. He will fast-track you for some medical and counselling intervention, and hopefully life will soon become worthwhile again.

In the meantime, never be afraid to call Samaritans if you need someone to talk to. They are there 24/7 and are happy to listen and support you through any crisis.

samaritans.org/

Moffy x

[Hidden]

Really feel for you reading what you wrote was lkie looking in a mirror just hope if yo go to doctor is more help than mine good luck hope life gets better for you hugs xx

[Jjudith]

Well I do know how you feel, I queried with myself whether it was worth living when I got Interstitial Cystitis on top of everything else, and considered whether it would be better to end my life, and I don't think I was even slightly depressed, I was just looking at life logically. I have had a wonderful life, I am very sensitive to almost all medications and so nothing medically can help, and I just didn't think I wanted my life and my family's life to go on dominated by disease, which is what you are feeling. My own answer was (1) find out a lot about the diseases I am fighting (2) absolutely accept the disease and don't fight it, but see it as part of you - a sort of love yourself, love your disease situation and (3) then find out how you and your disease can live together, using all the information that you can get from the Internet, books, doctors, complementary therapists, courses, lectures, and sites like this. Somehow doing this meant that I took back 'my' life from my disease. It has worked, and not only do I feel better, and my horrible symptoms are less intrusive into my life, but I think my symptoms have also diminished in themselves. In a funny way, I still hold on to the fact that if it gets too bad I can end my life, it is a choice open to me, but I find it comforting that I have that option, and I wouldn't want to give it up. So even suicidal thoughts can be used very positively.

[angib53]

Hi soozie , I too feel sometimes as you feel , iam still getting my head around this , unable to work , only go out on appoitments and its a struggle , I understand what you mean about family , mine understand , but I feel like running away as I think they are better without me . Its turned my life upside down , its effected my eyes I need to wear glasses all the time , as my vision is blurred , and its effected my bladder , after a cystoscopy I have overactive bladder syndrome , just one thing after another , I could go on . I find talking or venting does help , and on here everybody understands . I hope you feel a little better soon , , sending big hugs and thinking of you xx angie x

[Cat53]

My husband is the disabled one in my house and he too has wanted to end it all.....I am so glad he didn't. He is my rock, my best friend, my confidante. Having him in my life sharing all our ups and downs, laughing at the problems we share, helping him cope when he is in pain, caring for him as he cares or me if I am I'll. generally just sharing our lives together IS THE BEST THING EVER. Never think of yourself as a burden to your loved ones. You are still you. Your daughter would want you at her wedding. To give advice if she has children. Your role in her life is huge. Find ways to make the things you do still enjoy even more special. Accept what's happened, think outside the box re things to stimulate you and interest you. Do you like plants etc but can no longer garden......look at growing Bonsai trees maybe. My husband loved to grow veg and garden. He cannot manage the garden now, but he does grow veg in tubs. I bought him a little plastic greenhouse to bring his seedlings on. This gives him a lot of pleasure.....and we get to eat them too. So what if the beds are overrun with weeds! (I hate gardening). He used to paint pictures, but got too tired so now he does crossstitch instead. He loves TV so he has Sky. We go to the theatre a lot and the cinema when we want to. All the kids bring them mending to him. He is needed!

[soozie]

Thank you to all of you that answered my question.I've read every bodys message .I am feeling a lot better at the moment,my boyfriend has seen me having a complete meltdowntha & he spent some time taking me out the weekend around IKEA,in my wheelchair,its more than we do most times outdoors. He works full-time Mon-Fri & because he has been at work all those hour's he just likes to chill out or stay in on weekends,but for me in all the time I wanna go out..... Anyway a huge massive thanks to all of you for not being patronizing & really understanding of my condition.... I wish you all a painfree day xx big,gentle,fluffy hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[smoab1234]

My god, tell me about it! My fibro has been a total nightmare! all i can say is there will be better days ahead, hang in there your family need you. Try living just one day at a time, and remember every good day is a blessing- You can over come this-good luck