Any advise please?

[MrsOvey]

I'm 33 years and have been trying for a baby with my husband for about 3 years. I went to the doctors and had blood tests which came back normal, saying that i was ovulating although i wasn't having 'normal' periods. I was very overweight, i have since lost nearly 8 stone, although i am still over weight, i refuse for them to tell me that this is the cause of not being able to conceive. I have seen plenty of women bigger than me manage it. Anyway, my periods have become more regular, we have been having regular sex all the time, yet i have still not become pregnant. We have never used protection in the 4 years that we have been together. What should i do? Do we go to the doctors together? What do we say to them and what can they do? he has 3 children from a previous marriage and after reading some of the questions and answers on here i'll be devastated if they can't help because of them! Every day is so hard when i see my friends with their children or every day someone else i know announces their pregnancies. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you x

[Flitany]

Go and see your doctor hun. As you have been trying 3x years they can refer you for tests at a specialist clinic. They can test for things like tubal damage that won't show up on a blood test. Although your partner has 3 children previously it's also possible his sperm quality has changed since then so best to get tested. The treatment criteria for actual fertility assistance like ivf varies from region to region but certainly they will at least do the investigations regardless that your partner had other kids. My husband and I have been trying 18 months, I'm 8 1/2 stone and 29, certainly much bigger friends of mine have got pregnant no bother. I know it is absolutely heartbreaking at our age with everyone having kids, my heart goes out to you. Try to take the next step and see your gp. It is still poss you guys are just taking time (frustrating as that may sound), but you sound like you probs need some answers to help you move forward.

[MrsOvey]

Thanks lovely. I just wasn't sure they'd take me seriously. I'll see them soon.

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to MrsOvey]

Hi

So sorry to hear that you are feeling rejected because you have a weight problem. I’m afraid that gone are the days when it was not such an issue. Unfortunately, if you are attending an NHS clinic/hospital – for any illness or complaint – not just infertility issues, then they are bound by the “NICE Guidelines and PCT contracts” re patients’ BMI. The reason is just that it makes it easier for the doctor to carry out procedures, plus safer for yourself and baby during pregnancy and delivery – plus should you need a general anaesthetic. You and/or your GP might try and appeal against any decision not to treat you because of your husband’s children, but you need to do so as a couple.

Well done with the weight loss, you have done extremely well so far. I am certain that you are doing everything that you can to lose weight, but whatever you are doing, whether at a slimming club or on your own, make sure that you are keeping a record of your losses, however small, so that you can prove you are trying. A practice nurse at your GP practice would weigh you and keep a record too, if you don’t want to join a slimming club. Swimming, if possible, is good too. If you can afford to attend one of these fitness centres, then speak to one of the advisors. He/she will be able to help you with your diet requirements and also the correct exercising that you require.

Obviously, you could contact a few private clinics – or email them, to see if they would be willing to accept you as an egg donor in exchange for free or reduced costs treatment, but the weight issue would remain I’m afraid. There is no easy solution to weight problems though, just keep chipping away at the weight loss and I am sure you will get to acceptable limits.

If you have a look at our website infertilitynetworkuk.com you will be able to see how we can support you at this time.

Diane