DE Decisions vs Financial Practicality

[Darcy1996]

Struggling with decision-making & would be so so grateful for any advice on how you made the decision to move to DE if you did.

After 3 failed rounds in the UK with OE (I’m 43), we are investigating clinics overseas for cost, new techniques & new opinions.

- 1 in Spain said we can absolutely try w/ OE but until we visit & have tests there, see our chances as just c 5-8% (in line with our UK clinic so I expected that), & do recommend DE, but would support us if want to try OE.

- clinic 2 in Spain said since I get great egg numbers for my age, we could try a duostim round & chances could be 20-25% - if that doesn’t work, we have DE still as an option. Then we’d know we’d tried everything with OE 🤷🏻‍♀️

We’re also meeting anorhet highly recommended Greek clinic & one in Prague next week but I’m 99% certain at my age their recommendation will also be to move to DE, and I’m fully expecting that’s going to be the case at 43.

However, now the 2nd clinic have said I could try duostim, there’s a (slim) hope again so if we decide to go straight to DE, will I always regret not trying? I feel like I might.

And financially 💸 , importantly, we can just about afford the duostim, and then just about afford a DE round with a 2 blastocyst guarantee if it doesn’t work, but that’ll wipe us out. Financially & emotionally.

And if the donor egg round then doesn’t work…we’ll have spent all of our savings plus a loan, and there’s no more cash left to try so I’ll have stopped our options. I dare not hope we’ll be lucky ones who succeed with the first DE transfer. 🤰🏻

It’s possible the option clinic 2 gave might be cheaper & realistic at another clinic but will they recommend it? We will be asking ofc. And Alicante from London for a duostim round is achievable, but Athens or Prague might be much harder.

after 3 OE IVF rounds in the UK we can no longer afford to advocate for our own eggs & keep going with a 5-8% chance with a “standard” round.

I know I’m fortunate to have options, and I’m sorry for this long winded 🧠 dump, I just would really appreciate any learnings you’ve had if moved to DE, as struggling over here.

[SKC111]

Hey Darcy1996, it’s a difficult decision but it’s good you have options. I’m 40 and have had one round of ivf (after 18 months trying) which failed, 8 eggs only 2 fertilised but high fragmentation both transferred, none stuck. We had multiple paused cycles and emotionally it was draining! I decided to get a refund from my multi cycle package and use it towards DE as the chances would be so much higher. I didnt want to keep going through the pain and deep down I didn’t feel positive about it actually happening for us, but I felt with DE our chances would be so much better and potentially faster. Plus my partner didn’t want to keep going for years as he is older than me. Im currently abroad my transfer is next week 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 it’s a personal decision but for me this will be our baby who I will love just as much as if he/she came from my OE! I listed to podcast by Adele O’Connor which really helped me decide it was the choice for us! If you want any more info on my clinic etc dm me. They do offer a refund options and you can try with OE first then DE if it fails. Wishing you all the best 🫶🏻 x x x

[Darcy1996 in reply to SKC111]

Thank you SKC111 I’ll have a listen to that podcast. I have a fab counsellor but she’s not specifically a fertility counsellor so am struggling to work it through. It helps so v much to hear from others as we’ve also been trying for nearly 4 years.

Best of luck for next week 💜💜

[SKC111 in reply to Darcy1996]

Follow your intuition & go with your gut, make sure you have no regrets. Wishing you all the best too x