My ivf journey started so long ago but never got out the tracks
I’m 45 and baseline scans only ever showed 1 or 2 follicles so we were recommended to go down the DE route
I’m about to do my mock cycle for the DE to see how I perform on the meds
The thing is I still have all my unused stim medication sitting in my fridge
Do I just give it a go and see if I can get two of my OE or at my age am I just wasting my time do I just stick to the DE route that we are on? I’ve been back and forth on this for so long and I’m loosing precious time either way!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Wishing you all magic for 2025
Written by
Lk79
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
hi, I tried my OE for the last time when I was 42, I got 6 eggs from 6 follicles and 3 ‘top quality’ blastocysts and none of them made it past 6 weeks. I switched to DE at age 43 and the first transfer worked and I wouldn’t change my daughter for anything. In my own brutally honest experience, I was told my chances at 43 were 4-7% with my own eggs and more like 40% per transfer with DE.
I had another round paid for in my package with OE but I just couldn’t face any more stims and egg collections and more and more time passing.
It’s a really personal decision and I feel for you because it’s a tough time to navigate. I don’t regret DE for a minute and wouldn’t change what I did when I was at the same cross roads. Good luck, go with your heart xx
This is such a personal decision and I guess only you know if you have the energy, resilience and money to try again with your OE. Maybe the quickest and potentially the most successful route to having a child would be using a DE but it’s such a difficult decision to stop using your own eggs. Perhaps some sort of counselling may help? What are your clinic saying? Are they supportive?
Personally, I would say go for it with OE one last time and then you know you have given it your best shot. I am in a similar quandary at 44 so I empathise with you.
Good luck with this tricky decision and I wish you lots of luck and success on your next round.
I’ve never ever tried yet with my own eggs. Every base line scan showed just one follicle so we just kept waiting and kept waiting. At one of our appointments the consultant said at my age the quality will most likely be very low and if we want to be pregnant to go down the DE route. It’s just we had already purchased all the stim med so it’s all just sitting in my fridge! I just can’t decide whether to throw it all out and just start the DE process since we are literally on the precipice or do we just get the one or two eggs out and see if they produce anything. I know the chances are low but I can’t help but think I’ll always wonder. Having said that my head is telling me to just get going with the DE: I’m going round and round in circles my partner can’t listen any more to me um’ing and ah’ing it’s so hard to know what to do
Yes, I hear you. From what you are saying, it sounds like you’d like to give it a go with your OE. Maybe whilst you are doing that you could investigate DE a little more? It’s a really hard decision to give up on own eggs when you have some. Happy to chat more as it sounds like we are in similar positions. Good luck x
Hi lovely’s have you both ever thought of doing a tandem cycle they do it in North Cyprus it’s wear you and a donor both do ivf at the same time and you keep all the eggs so you have something to freeze for later you then can transfer your own eggs first or mix with donor it does work out a lot cheaper then 2 separate cycles at different times wish you luck with what ever you decide
Hi Lana happy new year! Thank you for this info I’m definitely going to ask the clinic. My only worry is the Spanish dr didn’t seem very supportive I’m not sure he’ll want to try. I mentioned it right at the beginning of our DE video call and he said no I’m too old the chances are slim to none.
My U.K. dr also says age isn’t on my side they both say if I want to be pregnant DE is my best shot. I’m just struggling as those unused meds from the start of our journey stare back at me every day!
It’s worth asking your dr it’s your treatment and if you want to give it a try with your own eggs that should be your call not the dr he is just there to advise what he thinks will work but again it depends on how you will feel if you don’t try like you say the meds are there
Why don’t you have a free consultation with a different dr and see what they think and if they say the same you can then be at peace with it
It’s a hard choice that’s why I suggested tandem because you try your own eggs then if not you have the back up of donors eggs already there ready to transfer
My clinic is called Hope fertility team z North Cyprus if you go on there web page you contact a girl called gizem and ask her for a consultation with the dr it’s free even if you don’t want to go to Cyprus might be good to hear a 3rd opinion and then help you make your mind up
I’m sending loads of luck your way with what ever you decide darling
If I were you I would try with my own eggs. From the way you wrote your post I think you will regret not trying and living with what if’s isn’t healthy.
While it is true that age is not on your side, success with OE at 45 is not unheard of.
If you want to do it, then do it and even switch the clinic if they are unsupportive.
I think we don’t speak enough about how big of a business IVF has become and how crazy is the competition between clinics. But in real life that means they are sacrificing people’s wishes for better statistics they can then advertise to get more clients. Meaning that many clinics are “forcing” women to take DE and couples to throw away less than perfect embryos.
With all that being said, they might be right many times and DE is ultimately the only way. But it should not be pushed if you have energy and money to try OE. You can still choose DE later if it doesn’t work with OE. Good luck!
Thank you & happy new year! I could have enough for one shot at it only. Then financially I’d have to move to DE. I think if I didn’t have the meds sitting in my fridge I’d probably have gone straight to DE. Only issue is they only ever see one or two follicles so my starting point is so bare to begin with but I think it’s worth getting one or two eggs out if I can and see what happens. I guess you just don’t know till you try!
Do you have the option of doing a tandem cycle? This is a cycle that combines OE and DE at the same time (and should be cheaper than doing an OE cycle first and then move on to a DE cycle). Not all clinics offer this but worth looking into it!
LOL just read someone else already suggested this! (My clinic in Spain also offers tandem cycles. DM me if you want details as we’re not supposed to name clinics on here)
at 39 I tried OE and it failed. I changed clinics and was told that I had. 20% chance with OE and the doctors wanted us to try.. since I was using private money and I was really mentally and physically exhausted. I could not stand another failed transfer it was emotionally exhausting I chose known DE. I had twin girls when I was 40. I would not change anything. Sometimes I forget that they are from DE.
I remember when I spoke to one very learned doctor she said that if a person had never tried with their own eggs and was going to go down the DE route regardless of their age they would suggest they try with their own eggs first. The reason for this is psychological and that a person needs to go through a cycle with own eggs in order to accept DE. I hope this makes sense. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. I know exactly how tough the decision is. X
hi I was advised by my Drs that tandem is not performed at their clinic as procedure involves down regulation (suppressing ovaries) initially to sync cycle (so OE and DE) can take place at same time. Which the Dr thought was unadvisable . It is a very personal decision but I’m intending to try with OE even though age is against me (I’m probably going to be on femera or citrate to try and encourage more eggs ) . if you decide to proceed and need either of those I think I have spare so happy to share (for free) if needed , anyways blowing baby dust your way, and happy 2025! Best wishes
I was having a similar dilemma last year. I’m 45 also and I think it’s personal choice. You do not want to look back and regret your choice. I can only talk about my own experience; I tried 3 times with OE which were PGT-A tested but all came back abnormal. I switched to DE last year and have had two transfers which resulted in miscarriages so DE don’t solve everything (as clinics can have you believe) but certainly increase chances.
To give a bit of hope is that I’ve not given up on this fertility journey yet. I’ve changed clinics and going to be doing my mock cycle in a couple of weeks after treatment for Chronic Endometritis.
Hello, sounds to me like if you have the meds in the fridge why not do an OE round, worst case scenario is a BFN or worse MC (which of course is awful) but at least you’ll know. With DE time is not so crucial, so you have the time. I’ve had 8 (!) unsuccessful rounds of egg collections/transfers and 3 traumatic miscarriages so no more OE tries for us and I’m 43, started at 40. Having a break now to focus on my relationship and running (to keep me sane - aiming to run a half in 5 months) and then hopefully we’ll begin DE route in about 6 months. The decision is ultimately yours and your partners, I would say don’t think too much just do what feels right - either way it’ll be okay. Best of luck xx
Hi .it's v tricky and very personal. I was at 45 and was ready to try eith oe. Even though possible 5 per cent chance. Sp I went for 3 rounds de. The 1st was chemical pregnancy. The 2nd I knew straight away was alright and the third gave me beautiful daughter. Trust your gut. Good luck x
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
so no more OE tries for us and I’m 43, started at 40. Having a break now to focus on my relationship and running (to keep me sane - aiming to run a half in 5 months) and then hopefully we’ll begin DE route in about 6 months. The decision is ultimately yours and your partners, I would say don’t think too much just do what feels right - either way it’ll be okay. Best of luck xx
advised to go to donor eggs
*Sensitive* Viability Scan (DE Treatment)
Donor Egg - mixed feelings 
