OE or DE at 43 years old, what did other people choose please?

[Kitkat10]

Hello all, I’m nearly 43 and trying for a sibling but also using donor sperm due to MFI. My consultant was pretty negative about trying OE again and I’m 90% sure it’s time to try DE but I would just really appreciate other people’s experiences, good and bad please.

I don’t know why I’m deliberating so much, it still might not work 😔

[Hidden]

hiya - I’m 44 next week and just been through the counselling stage of looking at double donors this week - after having similar situation to yourself.

One day I’m ok with using DD and others I worry - so I know how you feel and if you ever want to chat please get in touch xxx

[Kitkat10 in reply to Hidden]

thank you Hidden yes I feel exactly the same, I was certain I wanted to start DE last week and then this week I’ve got a niggling doubt. My partner and family are really supportive so maybe I’m just overthinking? Yes I’d very much appreciate someone to chat to, I think DE counselling is the next step for me according to the clinic xx

[Hidden in reply to Kitkat10]

I’m here if you ever want to direct message me

The councilling was helpful to me and helped put things into perspective and good way to talk through my worries.

I’ve lost a lot of faith in my current clinic due to their rubbish communication skills over the past year - so now I’m looking at where I should have treatment - and if I should try abroad.

It’s a minefield of information and I’m really unsure where to start. But if you ever want someone to listen or discuss anything with - I’m here xxx

[Tir-26]

hi Kitkat10 your not overthinking it, it’s such a big decision to close that door on OE. We tried twice with my own eggs but we had nothing to transfer. We attended implications counselling, it was helpful, helped put things into perspective and good way to talk through it all, rules in different countries etc too. We didn’t really have a clue until then! Sadly our DE journey hasn’t led to a baby yet but yeah it’s a big step to take, I’d really recommended the counselling as first step. Ther is some professional groups on the topic if you want to Dm me as I’m sure I can mention them by name on this platform.

[Charliebenj]

Hi

I’m also nearly 43 and using my OE. It’s a massive decision and everyone’s situation is so unique that I hope you find comfort in the decision that is right for you. My AMH was quite good for my age which is another reason y I wasn’t ready to give up on my OE. The main goal is a take home baby so whatever route you take, I wish you lots of luck and baby dust x

[konyaga]

I'm 43 years and 5 months old, currently banking embryos with OE. First child. I have a fairly good AMH (16 pmol) and no apparent ovarian issues or male factors.Your situation is unique to yours, but hope this information is useful!

[Clara22]

Hi KitKat. I am 41 and did 7 rounds with OE before moving onto donor eggs. For us we were getting a very poor response and only produced one or two eggs each time and these mainly did not progress to viable embryos. We moved onto donor eggs with a clinic in Spain and just got our BFP from the first transfer. We also have 5 blasts frozen! Part of me feels we should have done it earlier but I think it was a journey and we needed to feel we had tried everything first and the natural next step was DE. It is a really personal decision and only you know when/if you’re ready for that. As others have said counselling can help put it into perspective and think through all your options. Good luck in whatever you decide.

[Kitkat10]

Ah congratulations Clara22 that’s wonderful news 💕 I hope you have a straightforward and lovely pregnancy 💕 Hearing other people’s journeys has really helped me and I feel like DE is the right direction for me now. I don’t want to run out of donor sperm and I really fear that after another OE cycle I’m likely to be in the same position I’m in now. After my son was born I thought hard around DE and had my AMH retested and actually hoped it had dropped but it had gone from 1.2 to 1.0 so I tried again with OE but now I’m a year older I think for me, time is up.. but I do still hopefully have the chance to carry a baby so I’m more than happy with that 🤞🤞 xx

[Fifikoko]

Hi Kitkat

I tried for a sibling throughout 2022 using frozen embryos from the successful round that produced my son in 2020. Those embryos were created in 2019 when I was 40 and I had him at 41.

When trying for a sibling last year none of the three FETs worked. I told my consultant just before the third and final FET that if it didn’t work I wanted to go straight into a fresh cycle and she was fully supportive. I was 43.

Thanks be to God it worked and I’m now 34 weeks pregnant with my sons little sister aged 44 🙏🏽

I would say go for a fresh cycle with your OEs but just do all you can to maximise your chances of success (all the supplements, clean eating and living etc). If it doesn’t work then go ahead with DEs.

Wishing you all the best 😘🙏🏽🌈