Coping with the wait between cycles

[GemWB]

I'm 33, infertility due to tubal damage from endometriosis. We have had 2 cycles of IVF - first in January/February this year - low stimulation with 3 eggs collected and fertilised. 1 blastocyst that was transferred but unsuccessful. 2nd cycle September/October - much better stimulation. 9 eggs collected, 6 fertilised, 4 blastocysts. We froze 3 and transferred 1x seemingly good embryo. I got a + on my 2ww test but had started heavy bleeding 2 days prior. Sadly this was a pregnancy loss so we are now waiting on our 3rd and final NHS funded cycle.

How do you cope with the wait between cycles? I feel like time is running out and everyone else's lives keep on going while I stay stagnant. I feel so impatient to get started on the next cycle.

I am using the fertility counsellor and she suggested reaching out to forums like this as I don't know anyone else going through IVF just now in my personal life.

Thank you in advance for any advice ❤️

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely,

Ugh the waiting is the worst - unfortunately IVF is full of waiting...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss 💔

I was so impatient when we started, everything seemed to take so long - but we started just before Covid so ended up having to go privately which was much quicker. The NHS system does take time - we had cycles with them too and ended up moving our embryos to the private clinic because it was all taking so long.

I don't really have any tips for waiting, because you just have to suck it up. BUT you are young and you do have time - it probably doesn't feel like that because you want it now but the best advice I can give you is to try to let go of time lines. I used to give myself completely arbitrary timelines like "I want to be pregnant before I'm 38" and all it did was put unnecessary pressure on me and my partner. It will happen when the time is right and no amount of being frustrated will change that.

The good news is that you have 3 frosties waiting for you when the time comes! xx

[GemWB in reply to Millbanks]

Thank you for your reply ❤️ you are absolutely right. I do think I lose sight of the positives and get too caught up in what I can't control. It's nice to not feel alone in that feeling though! Xxx

[Millbanks in reply to GemWB]

With IVF you gotta celebrate all the small wins, because it is a rough ride!

Sending a big hug xx

[Endofitall]

If I had one word to describe IVF it would be “WAITING…. And waiting and waiting”. Between cycles, to start treatment, for embryology updates, for pregnancy test. It’s constant isn’t it. And in the meantime others are zooming by.

I am sorry you’re in this predicament too. I really hope you can start soon.

I’ve found focusing on doing really positive things for my mind and body in between helpful, knowing I’m still working on it and helping the process. Crafting, mindfulness, exercise and being outdoors etc. also I keep up with some acupuncture that I find really destressing. Some find reflexology, reiki or massage good. Also focusing on what’s great in my relationship and that we can still have long weekend lie ins etc.

It has taken me years to stop taking to heart so much that others are zooming by, especially as we were the first in our friendship groups to marry and start TTC. My career and DHs too to some degree have stagnated as we want to put everything into this and it’s hard not to put life on hold to some degree. Now that others are on 2/3rd pregnancies in time we’ve been trying it can feel really awful if you dwell on that too much, so I try really hard not to compare, we are on our own path and I know it’ll be worth it when we get there!! It’s okay to feel sad sometimes though.

Sorry for the ramble but …

I hope being part of some of these forums etc you will find some support. Best of luck xx

[GemWB in reply to Endofitall]

Thank you for your reply ❤️ I've seen acupuncture recommended in a lot of books etc and have been really intrigued about trying it. As you said, it's so hard not to compare our journey to others but I think making a conscious effort to acknowledge the positives is a good idea.

Thank you, so far it has been nice knowing it's not just me, despite it being one of the worst clubs to be a part of! Best of luck to you too xxx

[Kitkat10]

I felt the same, I remember well how it feels but the time will pass so focus on making the most of it. I found it useful to do some little challenges; for me, running is important, so I set myself distance challenges while I waited for my treatment to start.

Please don’t feel like time is running out. I know how you feel, I felt the same, but I started IVF at 39 (so quite a bit older than you are) and I still got a baby.

I also remember the feeling that life was standstill and that’s why I focused on doing little challenges , even if it was walking the dog on a new route every week, and then this gave me something else that was at least new and required some distraction.

Keep going, you’re doing really well, you are getting good embryos and believe me, that’s more than half the battle. Your ‘right egg’ will come up , just got to get through this time x good luck 🍀🍀 xx

[GemWB in reply to Kitkat10]

Thank you for taking the time to respond ❤️ I really like the idea about doing little challenges! I am definitely going to implement that. Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me some hope xxx

[Babyluck95]

Hi gem, I know exactly how you feel and it is hard, I had one round nhs funded, 2 frozen embryos first transfer positive and then lost at 7.3 weeks and then second failed, that was in July, we have to wait now until January to work our butts off and get all the money together for a multicycle package which gives us another 2 rounds, it sucks and waiting feels like forever because we've been waiting forever already! Also I don't know about you but people always getting pregnant around you that are close! The only thing that keeps me a little bit sane is to just remember that your already on the journey to having your happy ever after and that waiting I guess is part of it, try to enjoy things that you wouldn't be able to do if you was pregnant or if you had a baby, because next year you hopefully won't have the time or the energy to do them things with a new born baba, I wish you all the best and just try and hold on and stay strong we're all with you ❤️

[GemWB in reply to Babyluck95]

Thank you for responding to my post ❤️ I agree, it feels like everyone I know is getting pregnant or just had a baby! While I know I am probably just noticing it more because of what's going on, it's hard to switch off your brain. I'm sorry to hear about your challenges. I am hopeful for us both that next year will be our year ❤️❤️ xxx

[Amy2106]

Hi Gem,

Think we have similar stories. I am 30 with stage 4 endometriosis, my right tube is blocked but I suspect my left also is now. My first round we only got 3 embryos and 1 ending in a blastocyst. This ended in an early miscarriage.

We only get one round on the NHS so having to now self fund. We were hoping to start our second round but as we are doing the long protocol this time round I would have to be on suppression for an extra 2 weeks due to Christmas so have had to delay a month.

The waiting around is SO hard. I am trying to keep myself busy as possible but similar as I have no one else going through the same thing so people don’t truly know how you feel! Happy to talk anytime and good luck with your next transfer!

[GemWB in reply to Amy2106]

Thank you for replying ❤️ I'm so sorry that our stories are so similar. It's so frustrating having to delay things when you just want to throw everything at it. Thank you, I really appreciate that and likewise. I am wishing you all the best and will have everything crossed for you xxx