FET BFN yesterday 😢 : Hi all I hope... - Fertility Network UK

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FET BFN yesterday 😢

Catlover89 profile image
21 Replies

Hi all

I hope you are all coping well wherever you are on your journeys. Sending you all some love for whoever needs it today.

I am feeling so deflated and sad. Yesterday we found out our first FET failed. I had to go to work straight after I found out, so I couldn’t really process it properly. Today I’m just struggling to get through my work day, trying to pretend like everything is fine and hold it together around my work colleagues. I’m not really asking for anything in particular, I guess I just needed to share my feelings today with people that know what it’s like and understands. My period is also here so I’m just feeling awful 😢

Sending you all some love and positivity your way ❤️ xx

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Catlover89 profile image
Catlover89
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21 Replies
orangecatmum profile image
orangecatmum

Oh love, I am so so sorry. It's really, genuinely, just rubbish. This whole process is a level of cruel that nobody tells you about until it's on you.

Are you able to take some time off work? I really would encourage it if you can, even just a day or two to process things; it's so hard to focus when your head and heart are elsewhere.

Look after yourself, go slow and when you're ready to start thinking about another one remember that one failure does not mean the next one will.

Sending so much strength xx

Catlover89 profile image
Catlover89 in reply to orangecatmum

I think I will consider having a couple of days off. It’s been so hard working having to put a smile on my face! Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement, thinking about it like that gives me a glimmer of hope for next time. Thanks again xx

orangecatmum profile image
orangecatmum in reply to Catlover89

Honestly the energy it takes to put on a brave face when you are crying inside is another level! It will help the healing process a bit to just take a m

orangecatmum profile image
orangecatmum in reply to orangecatmum

Woops! My fat thumb pressed publish before I finished! I was just adding that taking a time out is the best therapy you could give to yourself right now.

And when you feel stronger maybe looking up stories of other people who had failures followed by success. Tbh I think that is most people as the odds of first-time success are slimmer!

Xx

BlueEyedTabby profile image
BlueEyedTabby

Hi, I'm new here and yours is the first post I saw and so similar to my own situation... We found out our FET was unsuccessful on Sunday. I'm so sorry you're in the same boat but know you're not alone.

I've felt worse each day since the news and had to work from home today because I just couldn't face the world. You should definitely take a break from work if you can but I know easier said than done sometimes.

It was our first cycle, was it yours? I just don't know how anyone goes through IVF repeatedly with no guarantee, it feels like a maddening lottery. I can't get my head around it.

I really hope you get through your day OK and have a restful evening and a glimmer of hope returns soon. Xxx

Catlover89 profile image
Catlover89 in reply to BlueEyedTabby

I am so sorry to hear that, It really is devastating isn’t it ❤️ that’s great that you were able to work from home, it’s so hard to keep that pretence up isn’t it when all you want to do is cry.

This was our first round of IVF too, and I was just so hopeful, but also trying to remain level headed about it all which is equally hard to manage!

At this point I just feel like I’m never going to see a positive pregnancy test. We have been TTC for a few years and had so many negative tests. I too don’t know how others have found the strength to do many rounds, but I guess you just take each step as it comes. I guess we have done amazing to get this far, and we will find the strength somewhere to try again when the time is right. I really hope you start to feel a little better soon too ❤️ Reading some of the positive stories on here does help me and so I hope it helps you too. It’s a great source of support, I don’t know what I would do without it! Sending you a hug your way. Thanks again for your message xx

BlueEyedTabby profile image
BlueEyedTabby in reply to Catlover89

Totally get the hopeful vs level headed challenge! I find myself worrying I'm being too positive then too negative 🫠

I'm sorry to hear it's been such a long journey for you already. It's so unfair. You're right, it is still an achievement to get through a cycle even if the outcome wasn't positive. We know we can do it now 💪and know what to expect so hopefully less daunting next time.

What have you been told the next steps are? We have to see the consultant in a couple of weeks, which feels like forever away and dreading what he might say.

Sending lots of positive vibes and hope you feel a bit brighter tomorrow xx

Feliciaokorie25 profile image
Feliciaokorie25 in reply to Catlover89

Hello dear,,so sorry 💔,,i really understand how you feel ,,hv been there before ,,hv had 4 failed Transfers,back to back .. Feb 2022 the 5th try stuck💙 he's almost 2,,, the 6th try stucked and am currently 9weeks pregnant,, am here to give you hope

Pls don't give up,,you will testify soon I promise ❤️🙏🏼

Catlover89 profile image
Catlover89 in reply to Feliciaokorie25

Thank you so much for your message. That’s so lovely to hear :) and huge congratulations! Wish you all the best xxx

JA-fnuk profile image
JA-fnukPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Just to let you know thinking of you If possible can you take a day or two off - might give you the chance to process the situation Remember to look after yourself and keep talking to your OH Hope you have people around you for support Take a look at our website Access to Support

Take care

Janet-Partner

Tamaa profile image
Tamaa

Oh dear. I hope you are on the other side of your difficult time soon. It can be quite a challenge pretending to stay normal. Please take care of yourself. You are not alone. Wishing you peace and happiness.

CardiGrey profile image
CardiGrey

Hi, I’m so sorry to read your post. Give yourself grace. Take the time off if you need as it may give you the space you require to process everything. It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions. This is one of the toughest parts of the journey. My thoughts are with you. Sending love and strength to continue ❤️

Catlover89 profile image
Catlover89 in reply to CardiGrey

Thank you ❤️ xx

Christianbaby profile image
Christianbaby

I'm so sorry to hear about your FET. Sending you a big virtual hug. This journey can be so tough and emotionally draining. You just never know what will work and what won't, and it can drive you crazy sometimes. It must have been really hard to process everything while at work. Maybe consider taking a day or two off to give yourself some space to heal?

Sending you strength and hope. x

Crie1983 profile image
Crie1983

I am so sorry to hear that. I’ve been in your position multiple times and it’s so draining to try and pretend that you are ok and carry on as normal. An IVF failed cycle is a bereavement and is totally underestimated by so many people. Be kind to yourself and take some time to come to terms with this. I’ll be thinking of you. Xx

Anita1216 profile image
Anita1216

I’m so sorry dear, take your time and everything will just be fine. And you will share your good news soonest.🙏

TigerH profile image
TigerH

Oh dear,💔

Try to get some rest, and don’t lose hope next time will be positive inshallah 💖

Mikki100 profile image
Mikki100

I feel for you hun, sending you a virtual hug ❤️. I know what it's like, I've had a few failed FETs and it doesn't get any easier.. especially going straight back to work and having to face the world. Take it easy, grieve and treat yourself. I wish you all the best x

Catlover89 profile image
Catlover89

thanks so much for everyone’s kind words. It really does help to know I’m not alone in this ❤️ I have a long weekend off and I have absolutely no plans except do what I want to do, and that’s probably watch some Netflix with a big bar of chocolate.

You are all so lovely, thanks again for your support xxx

udyeyaks profile image
udyeyaks

I feel your pains my ❤love, all I could say is hang in there. I have been at this crossroad for 6times such that now I'm financially depleted but still servicing some loans which make the hidden tears so painful. You are right, it's not easy to keep a smiling face when you know that even people around you will not understand a glimpse of what you face. Sending you loads of love & hope. Cry out if you wish to, do some things you stayed away from, just to bring back your glow.

Jogsandwalks profile image
Jogsandwalks

❤️❤️❤️😔. I'm sorry

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