looking for a little support

[Savannah9]

hi everyone

I’m on my 3rd round of ICSI, this round I got 6 blastocysts after making some changes with supplements, skin care products and removing certain things from my house (plastics etc) I couldn’t believe it, it was the furthest we got.

x1 FET natural cycle and x1 FET short protocol unfortunately failed. I had an endo scratch before the 2nd FET but my Dr doesn’t know why implantation failing as on paper, all seems “ok”.

Recently had another FET, I did a long protocol this time, it honestly took it out of me but I honestly did everything right. The process felt so much better, they did an ultra sound assisted transfer which they’ve never done before, the whole experience was better seeing our little embryo on the screen and getting to keep a scan photo.

Fast forward to the end of the dreaded 2WW and we got the result we’d been praying for and saw those amazing words flash up on the test for the first time. We lived in this moment for 2 weeks together in our own bubble, but I noticed the tiredness and the very subtle nauseous feeling I previously had, had gone. We decided to take another test to check and reassure us, but sadly we were no longer pregnant.

It just feels so cruel to get all that way and visualise the ending, but to also have it be called a chemical loss, just makes it hurt so much more, to me it wasn’t chemical, it was a part of me and I sadly lost it.

I have an appointment with Warwick implantation clinic, to see if there is anything they can find, I can’t afford to test the remaining 3 embryos, we’ve had to pay for all our treatment as we didn’t qualify for NHS. Has anyone ever spoken to them before?

does anyone have any advice on anything or even how to navigate how I’m feeling x

[Twiglet2]

aww I’m so so sorry to hear this 😢 I’ve had a few losses and no matter if it’s 2 days or 2 months you are pregnant for they are so hard! There is no ‘good news’ in this situation but there is some hope in that this one did implant so a lot of the implantation questions you have could be answered and the environment was right, it’s likely just the embryo wasn’t to be and stopped developing 😢 sending you a big massive hug! Xx

[Savannah9 in reply to Twiglet2]

thank you for your message, I needed it xx

[fidgetmcgee]

Congratulations on getting 6 blastocysts, That’s a fantastic result!

But I am so sorry about the losses, it is heartbreaking I know. Me and my partner have had two bfns and one miscarriage from our three transfers so my heart goes out to you. I don’t think people who haven’t been through ivf can always understand how much of a loss each one of the embryos that don’t make it is.

I don’t have any advice but I hope it goes well talking to the implantation clinic. It might be that the blasts that you had transferred sadly weren’t euploid and just couldn’t keep going. Whatever steps you take next I really hope that when you get to your remaining blasts that the next one sticks. Wishing you so much luck

[Savannah9 in reply to fidgetmcgee]

Thank you for your message. Hopefully we get some kind of answer soon xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi. So sorry to hear about your previous bubble bursting. Hope you continue to have support around you. From a medical viewpoint, be you had a hysteroscopy to check out your womb and biopsy the lining. Also are your Fallopian tubes completely clear, so no excess lubrication can drip into the womb, possibly preventing a developing embryo from implanting. Do you need low dose soluble aspirin as a blood thinner, or just plain pineapple core. Thinking of you. Diane

[Savannah9 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks Diane.

Yeah I was on Asprin this time round which must have done something to help, as we’ve never been this far before.

I’m not sure about fallopian tubes as they were never checked due to having male factor fertility issues and having to have ICSI, I will discuss with my doctor at the next appointment though.

I’ve never had a hysteroscopy but maybe the implantation clinic will do this as part of their investigation I will find out more tonight as I have a call with them.