First of all, I don't know what to think about it, I had a 100% mindset that this 5th FET wouldn't work, and I was already planning everything for our final 6th.
Not to mention the whole stress because my progesterone was low on the day of the transfer, the whole issue that the clinic gave me the wrong needles for Lubion - double the size! of what I should be using... they did send me the correct one the next day but for the 1st shot I had to use this massive needle, and I am terrified of needles.
I promised myself that I would wait and test EARLIEST 6dpt but here I go, like a cheater, took the test 4dpt this Saturday🤦♀️thinking the whole time, what the hell am I doing, wasting a good test.
And the shock that it came back positive, because it was visible positive even earlier than my earliest ever positive test.
I know that everything can turn and it can start fading, or something can be wrong again and end up in MC before or after the viability scan, unfortunately we have too much experience with losses like that.
I don't know what to think now, or feel. I was sure I will be happy but I don't feel this way, just pure panick. And these thoughts - if this is what I really want? What if I will get another heartbreak, there are so many things that can go wrong and it just won't leave me alone 🙈
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Glaedy
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Thank you LallyLoops! We are not out of the woods yet and each day I am expecting that it will start turning into chemical 🙈 such a weird combination of hope and resignation
It's really hard when experience has taught us that a positive result means little else than you're pregnant that day. And especially when you're not expecting to see one. I think it's more than OK to feel shock/numb rather than surprise/delight. Sometimes we're only too well aware that a positive result is only a potential, not a guarantee.
I would just say to go gently with yourself, allow whatever emotions surface to be processed, feel them, it doesn't make the facts and being positive is not some talisman that can protect or keep everything on the right track. I'm sure you'd have a football team by now, if it did!!
You're not going to hurt yourself or your pregnancy by having conflicting emotions. And having mixed feelings at this stage doesn't mean anything about how you'll feel later on. Your heart and your mind have just been through a lot and are trying to protect you, as best they can.
Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself as a friend rather than a critic (as best you're able!).
looking good so far 👌🏻💜🤩🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 you don’t have to feel anything other than what you want to feel at this point 🤗 but right now you are pregnant so just take it one day at a time would be my advice xx
congrats 💫 just take it one day at a time x whatever happens from here is not something you can control so surrender and enjoy this moment now of being pregnant ❤️ easier said than done I know 😬 I’m in the same boat although I’ve not had any previous losses I’m currently pregnant with my last embryo and am a little nervous. Bring on the first scan 🙏
Congratulations on your positive 😃just wanted to say I know how you feel I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant but after so many losses I feel so anxious and can’t even feel happy that I’m finally pregnant because I keep thinking that In a few week it will bad news, I try and not to be negative but it’s so hard. I just keep myself busy and try and not to think about maybe a few min a day 😒.
I really hope this is it! for both of us and whoever is in this agonising wait xxx
Thank you, this feelings are so complicated. I am expecting every singe day that it will start turning into another loss but I think it's just panic mode. Like they said above - one day at a time, we are pregnant now and we'll see how far it will get. Congrats again on your BFP
So today's test at the bottom, I started panicking while the test was still loading that it doesn't look much darker 🤦♀️ but when it finished I felt much better comparing it to the test from 2 days ago 🤞we are still not out of the woods because of the spotting and bleeding but hopefully it's "normal"
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BFP 8dp5dt ** sensitive post **
Sensitive post: BFP 11dp5dt
*Sensitive post* OTD - BFP
**Sensitive** OTD 12dp5dt BFP!! ❤🥰
**Sensitive post** BFP 
