!Sensitive! Very early BFP

[Glaedy]

Hi all,

First of all, I don't know what to think about it, I had a 100% mindset that this 5th FET wouldn't work, and I was already planning everything for our final 6th.

Not to mention the whole stress because my progesterone was low on the day of the transfer, the whole issue that the clinic gave me the wrong needles for Lubion - double the size! of what I should be using... they did send me the correct one the next day but for the 1st shot I had to use this massive needle, and I am terrified of needles.

I promised myself that I would wait and test EARLIEST 6dpt but here I go, like a cheater, took the test 4dpt this Saturday🤦‍♀️thinking the whole time, what the hell am I doing, wasting a good test.

And the shock that it came back positive, because it was visible positive even earlier than my earliest ever positive test.

I know that everything can turn and it can start fading, or something can be wrong again and end up in MC before or after the viability scan, unfortunately we have too much experience with losses like that.

I don't know what to think now, or feel. I was sure I will be happy but I don't feel this way, just pure panick. And these thoughts - if this is what I really want? What if I will get another heartbreak, there are so many things that can go wrong and it just won't leave me alone 🙈

[LallyLoops]

Congratulations Glaedy!!! So pleased for you!!!

[Glaedy in reply to LallyLoops]

Thank you LallyLoops! We are not out of the woods yet and each day I am expecting that it will start turning into chemical 🙈 such a weird combination of hope and resignation

[GranolaHippo]

It's really hard when experience has taught us that a positive result means little else than you're pregnant that day. And especially when you're not expecting to see one. I think it's more than OK to feel shock/numb rather than surprise/delight. Sometimes we're only too well aware that a positive result is only a potential, not a guarantee.

I would just say to go gently with yourself, allow whatever emotions surface to be processed, feel them, it doesn't make the facts and being positive is not some talisman that can protect or keep everything on the right track. I'm sure you'd have a football team by now, if it did!!

You're not going to hurt yourself or your pregnancy by having conflicting emotions. And having mixed feelings at this stage doesn't mean anything about how you'll feel later on. Your heart and your mind have just been through a lot and are trying to protect you, as best they can.

Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself as a friend rather than a critic (as best you're able!).

Wishing you ever increasing moments of peace.

[Glaedy in reply to GranolaHippo]

Thank you for your very kind and comforting words

[Twiglet2]

looking good so far 👌🏻💜🤩🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 you don’t have to feel anything other than what you want to feel at this point 🤗 but right now you are pregnant so just take it one day at a time would be my advice xx

[Glaedy in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you 🙏

[Beclp]

congrats 💫 just take it one day at a time x whatever happens from here is not something you can control so surrender and enjoy this moment now of being pregnant ❤️ easier said than done I know 😬 I’m in the same boat although I’ve not had any previous losses I’m currently pregnant with my last embryo and am a little nervous. Bring on the first scan 🙏

[Glaedy in reply to Beclp]

Thank you ❤️

[KHRAM]

Congratulations on your positive 😃just wanted to say I know how you feel I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant but after so many losses I feel so anxious and can’t even feel happy that I’m finally pregnant because I keep thinking that In a few week it will bad news, I try and not to be negative but it’s so hard. I just keep myself busy and try and not to think about maybe a few min a day 😒.

I really hope this is it! for both of us and whoever is in this agonising wait xxx

[Glaedy in reply to KHRAM]

Thank you, this feelings are so complicated. I am expecting every singe day that it will start turning into another loss but I think it's just panic mode. Like they said above - one day at a time, we are pregnant now and we'll see how far it will get. Congrats again on your BFP

[DianeArnold]

Hi. Looking hopeful. Carr on with any prescribed medication and test on the correct day. Good luck Diane

[Glaedy in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you Diane, I will 🙏

[Kitkat10]

congratulations 💖💖

[Glaedy in reply to Kitkat10]

Thank you ❤️

[Saskiahope]

Congratulations for today, and long may it last! Sending you lots of love xxxxx

[Glaedy in reply to Saskiahope]

Thank you ❤️

[Glaedy]

So today's test at the bottom, I started panicking while the test was still loading that it doesn't look much darker 🤦‍♀️ but when it finished I felt much better comparing it to the test from 2 days ago 🤞we are still not out of the woods because of the spotting and bleeding but hopefully it's "normal"

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[Millbanks in reply to Glaedy]

Looks like good progression to me xx

[Hopewhite in reply to Glaedy]

That looks stronger Glaedy ! Fingers crossed🤞🏼🤞🏼

[Glaedy in reply to Glaedy]

Another test progression using FRER, from day 5, 7, and today's 9dpt, all progesterone symptoms are gone, still spotting, now more red than pink/brown ;(

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[Fruitandflowers in reply to Glaedy]

Looks like really good progression. Bleeding and spotting is very common in early pregnancy and sometimes increased progesterone can help if there's room for that in your protocol? But if you're worried and want to know what's going on you can get hcgs done - they've never stopped me doing test sticks (think I am addicted) but they've always been accurate for me on viability from an early stage.

[Glaedy in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Thank you, I am already on increased progesterone as soon as I started spotting, my clinic booked me for beta hcg tomorrow morning 🙈 it is so nerve wrecking

[Fruitandflowers in reply to Glaedy]

My consultant increased my lubion from 1 to 2 a day as I didn't seem to absorb progesterone properly and his view was you shouldn't spot before OTD if progesterone is doing its job. But equally I've had non viable pregnancies where I didn't spot and on my successful pregnancies I did spot and had bleeding and it turned out not to be anything to worry about, so that's another reason I got HCGs as at least they told me one way or another. I really hope it's all fine for you as I know how horrible this bit is.

[Glaedy in reply to Fruitandflowers]

My consultant added Lubion last week day after transfer and then added another Utrogestan on Monday when I called that I am spotting, they checked progesterone the same day and said that it's "35" and it's well withing limit

[Fruitandflowers in reply to Glaedy]

All the clinics have different ranges - mine wanted it over 50, some want it a lot higher, but equally my consultant didn't seem bothered by my levels when they were on the low side and said women get pregnant naturally at much lower levels than they try to achieve on IVF. But he was pretty stumped by my body's stubborn refusal to absorb synthetic progesterone no matter how much he threw at it.