Am I expecting too much from my clinic?

[Isittoolate]

I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions which has just peaked in a major breakdown and we haven't even started IVF yet. I feel this is due to the clinic messing me about. I had a hycosy which showed tubes blocked. Waited 6 months for laproscopy which confirmed but surgeon said he managed to unblock one. Thought this was positive then told can't have ovulation induction only as the tube will be damaged. Best to skip the tubes and go to IVF. Got our heads round that jumped through all the multiple hoops and tests to get a consultation to be told I need to have tubes clipped. First Dr didnt say this. I just can't understand why they let me have the first surgery which was now 100% pointless and they casually say to have more. This is my body a GA and pain after and my dreams of a family and they are just giving different messages and say well I wasn't part of that conversation so can't comment when bring up things we are told that they are contradicting. Plus saying we can only safely have up to two IVF rounds. I know they are trying to be safe and give best outcome but I feel they are wasting so much of my 'fertility time' and have no understanding of what they are putting us through. I'm at the point of giving up before we start as they have made this whole journey so difficult. Am I impatient, expecting too much? Should I look at another clinic? This is one of the top clinics I believe in the country so I don't know what to do. 😭😭😭

[JA-fnuk Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hope you get some replies to your post as this Forum is an excellent source of information and support

Take care

Janet-Partner

[Gentleblue]

Hey there,

I am with you, although I have not done IVF, but done IUI and the thought of checking tube came well after. How was it for you?

Just hang in there, get as much support from family as possible and this forum, everyone here is so supportive and wonderful!

I would have a second opinion elsewhere (maybe online with another top clinic), just to be sure you are on the right track.

We need to keep on going, one step at a time. xx

[MammaMia86]

Sorry to hear how you are feeling and the bad communications they've had with you.

If I were you I would ask for a first appointment in other clinics. Go with all the information, tests and explain your case. Tell them that you are not happy on the way they are handling your case and that you are considering changing clinics and what will be the treatment or steps with them.

If you go to this clinics and they suggest exactly the same as your current one....you know they are saying the best action for you....but if they suggest different things you can go back to them and ask about that or consider about changing.

Take care

[Bella000]

Just wanted to say I am so sorry you're having to go through all of it. I've also waited so long to get seen by a fertility consultant - with many job changes and relocations the wait was probably almost 2.5 years. Even after that, they didn't do all the blood tests in one go so I need to go back to the GP or hospital again for another test, and then for another, and then they told me that I didn't have rubella so need to get vaccinated twice, and couldn't go through IVF at least for a month after the shot.... and all the other things of course which was both frustrating and upsetting. I also had a laparoscopy, before which I was so so worried about tubes and other things gettting scarred because of it (some people say that) and when I asked the consultant (who did the surgery) about it she said there'd be absolutely no concern. I was shocked to hear this (there's nothing without any concern or risk!) but she was so insistent that I shouldn't worry so I just went with it. I probably don't regret having a laparoscopy necessarily but I do regret having a treatment with her (even worse we paid for it as NHS wait time was 10+ months). She just wasn't a right person for me.

Re your tubes needing to be clipped - I would ask why this may be the case. If the tubes are filled with fluid then I hear they need to be removed as it'd affect the chance of IVF working. But otherwise I was told it's fine to keep them. Mine was not blocced but damaged and inflared by previous infection, so weren't moving as much as they should. But I was told there was no fluid so no need to remove them. Maybe doctors need to write/see your notes a bit more carefully.

About you only being able to have up to 2 cycles - did you ask why? Do you have any other health concerns? I'd probably just keep asking why, until you get your answer from your doctor. If they're hesitant deal with it then they shouldn't be your doctor.

I've done 2 cycles of IVF which were unfortunately not successful. Every time the doctors say different things. But as I understood this is very much an trial and error so every time they are learning something new. There's still so much we don't understand about human conception so perhaps that doesn't help doctors reaching a consensus.

I wouldn't hesitate to go to a different doctor if you don't have a good feeling about them. IVF is a really tough journey and if you have doubts in your protocol or clinic then it'd make it even harder. I'm sure you can find as good clinics as your current one, with a doctor who can work better with you - it might just mean that you might need to travel a bit far.

Please feel free to send me a message if you'd like to talk. I am so sorry you're going through this. I definitely don't think you're being impatient and all the feelings you must be feeling I have no doubt that's only fair and natural. Sending you all the good wishes 🥰

[Emzy12580]

I would definitely go to another clinic and see if you can get a second opinion. Not sure what clinic you are with currently but if you're near London I am with the Evewell on Harley Street and they are brilliant and there is next to no wait times