Doing it alone

[Mbm123]

Hi, I’m new to this site, just wondering if there is anyone else doing this journey alone?

This is by choice for myself for a number of reasons, would be helpful and nice to chat with others in the same situation. Although any help and support would be greatly appreciated.

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Mbm. I have spoken and worked with many ladies who have done IVF using donor sperm on their own, plus different fertility treatment cycles. I’m sure you will get replies. Good luck. Diane

[Mbm123 in reply to DianeArnold]

Hi Diane, thank you , I really hope so.

[Tarasunny]

I'm a soon to be solo mum by choice (33 weeks with twins). I had a not so straightforward fertility journey over the last almost 4 years. Feel free to message me with any questions.

[Mbm123 in reply to Tarasunny]

Thank you for your message. Sorry to hear things weren’t straightforward for you but wonderful news that your nearly a mum to twins. I’m really early on in my journey, researching clinics at the moment. I will be using donor sperm. We’re you referred to the clinic you used ? Any help and advice you can offer would be really helpful, thank you. I wish you all the best wishes with the birth of your twins x

[Greenleaves1]

I'm a SMBC. I have a 2 year old son using a donor and just been through my first failed IVF cycle for a sibling. Feel free to message me.

[Mbm123 in reply to Greenleaves1]

Hi, thanks for your message. I will be using a donor also once I find a clinic. Sorry to hear that you have just had a failed IVF cycle. Did you do IUI with your son ? How did you decide on a clinic or were you referred?

[Greenleaves1 in reply to Mbm123]

The clinic I'm with had their own sperm bank so I was able to include it as part of the package. My son was my 4th IUI.

I've had 3xIUIs and 1xIVF so far for a sibling. I decided on a clinic quite a few years ago - simply by googling and finding the were supportive of single women.

[Eggfreezer2015]

Hi I am a SMBC currently 31 weeks pregnant. Would be happy to have a chat and support in anyway I can, pls feel free to message me x

[Mbm123 in reply to Eggfreezer2015]

Hi, thanks for your message. What great news being 31weeks pregnant. Was that your first cycle? And was that IUI or IVF ? I’m really early on in my journey, still researching clinics at the moment, I will be using donor sperm when I decide on a clinic. Any help and advice to steer me in the right direction would be really helpful, thank you. I wish you all the best wishes for the remainder of your pregnancy x

[Foxglove_daffodil]

I’m doing it by myself too. I would love to connect with other women doing it solo as well. I’m very early in my pregnancy after my first round of IVF.

[Mbm123 in reply to Foxglove_daffodil]

Hi thanks for your message. Congratulations on your pregnancy and how great being your first round of IVF. I’m researching clinics still, we’re you referred or was it by your own research? I will be using donor sperm when I find somewhere. Any help and advice to point me in the right direction would be really helpful, thank you.

[Foxglove_daffodil in reply to Mbm123]

Thank you! Happy to try and answer any questions you have via DM. I don’t think the forum allows open posts about specific clinics x

[Football61]

Hi, I’m on a solo journey too 🙋🏻‍♀️. Very happy to connect x

[Mbm123 in reply to Football61]

Hi, thanks for your message. How far are you into your journey? I’m very early on, researching clinics still, when I find one I will be using donor sperm. It’s lovely and reassuring to read how many single people are doing it alone and how many successful pregnancies there have been. Any help and advice to steer me in the right direction would be really helpful, thank you and good luck to you x

[Onestepatatim3]

Hello I am a single woman by choice and going through this journey solo. Feel free to message xx

[Mbm123 in reply to Onestepatatim3]

Hi, thanks for your message. How far are you in this journey? I’m researching clinics still, so very early days for me. I know it will be the best decision I have ever made when it finally happens. Any help/ advice would be greatly appreciated. I wish you good luck with your journey. xx

[Onestepatatim3 in reply to Mbm123]

I will DM you xx

[Marley15]

I did it all on my own, time was ticking by at 37 I decided to use donor sperm I went down the IUI route which was successful first time round, gave birth to my gorgeous son in 2018.

Ive since done several more rounds of IUI and three rounds of IVF using donor sperm which sadly have been unsuccessful, but hoping to try again using donor eggs and sperm.

[Mbm123 in reply to Marley15]

Hi, thanks for your message. Was the IUI route suggested by the clinic you used? I’m very early on in my journey, researching clinics at the moment, but I will also be using donor sperm. I’m pleased it worked for you first time , but sorry to hear that you haven’t been successful again. It’s so unfair the cost of treatment , and it’s a postcode lottery as to whether your offered any help. I wish you luck for your next attempt.

[Marley15 in reply to Mbm123]

When I went to the clinic they did all the initial test and they suggested the IUI would be the best place to start at, I really wasn’t expecting it to work first time as the clinic and online research said it usually takes several attempts to work.

I’m so lucky to have my gorgeous son, I just now wish I had started the process earlier. I’m hoping to get the money together to try again. Good luck xx

[Mbm123 in reply to Marley15]

I spoke to one clinic last week and was told that because of my age the IUI route would probably be quite successful, the trouble is you get your hopes up. I’m yet to go in for a face to face , I’m hoping to decide on a clinic very soon. The costs are horrendous and so unfair. Xx

[Marley15 in reply to Mbm123]

That’s good news then, it’s less expensive going down the IUI than IVF, see what happens when you get all your test done. I know how expensive it all is, even more so as a single person and now also as a single parent xx

[Gerti2020]

hi, I have a 3yr and 6 month baby, doing it solo. Happy to chat, best thing I’ve ever done! X

[Mbm123 in reply to Gerti2020]

Hi, thanks for your message. Did you go down the IUI or IVF route? And was it successful first times ? I have wanted this for such a long time and know it will be the best thing also.

[Gerti2020 in reply to Mbm123]

I did ivf. First time was successful first attempt. second time I had a few unsucesssful FET and in the end did PGTA testing and my 1 normal stuck.

[MyLittlePinkness]

I have my beautiful 18 month old daughter, after 5 rounds of ivf, also the best thing I have ever done!! SMBC. Good luck 🤞

[Mbm123 in reply to MyLittlePinkness]

Hi, thanks for your message. I’m pleased that you were eventually successful, I hope it works out for me too, thank you x

[Systema23]

I started this journey with a partner and am now flying solo and am 16 weeks pregnant at 41.

DM me if you want to chat x

[sully23]

Hi

Im doing this solo too. Please msg msg me for more information.

[Mbm123 in reply to sully23]

Hi, thanks for your msg. Any information would be very helpful, I’m very early on, only just researching clinics at the moment.

[Beingamum23]

Welcome!

My daughter aged 41 is also going solo and there are others on here doing the same. But she is not alone…… and I hope that is same for you.

Obviously i can only speak from a supportive perspective but I do have two bits of advice.

Be KIND to yourself

YOU set the boundaries when sharing with others.

Sending good wishes for a successful journey.

[Mbm123 in reply to Beingamum23]

Hi, thank you for your reply. I do have the support of my family which is great. It’s a mind field out there, so many clinics. I’m very early on and still doing research, it’s so difficult especially with the cost involved.

[BleuM]

Hiya

I’m going solo to, I’ve had 2 failed rounds of IUI, soon to do my 3rd and hopefully final round 🤞 x this is a great support forum, feel free to message x

[Mbm123 in reply to BleuM]

Hi thanks for your message. Sorry to hear you’ve had 2 failed rounds of IUI. I came across this forum and very pleased that I did, everyone has there own journey but are so kind and helpful. I’m really early on in my journey, still researching clinics at the moment. We’re you referred to the clinic you used or just by you researching? Any help and advice to steer me in the right direction would be really helpful. I wish you all the luck with your 3rd round x

[BleuM in reply to Mbm123]

Thanks ☺️ yeah you’ll find it a great support as you navigate through your journey so keep sharing and ask away. I found mine through research, but maybe your GP could recommend one. I’m terrified but I have a straw of sperm left and as they say a chance not taken is an opportunity missed x 🤞

[Mbm123 in reply to BleuM]

Thank you. I’m doing research just in case my GP doesn’t refer me. I can imagine how you are feeling, totally agree you can’t miss the opportunity. Very best of luck 🤞 x

[BleuM in reply to Mbm123]

Thank you, and you sending you lots of baby dust 😇

[SMBCnewbie]

I'm also in process of SMBC but been a rocky road so far. Its on my bio. Here if you have any questions.

[Mbm123 in reply to SMBCnewbie]

Hi, thank you for your message. I have just read your bio and I’m so sorry for what you have been through. Life can be incredibly cruel at times. I wish you all the luck in the world. X

[Lostinmaze]

Hi Mbm123, I too decided to go it alone, I'm looking to start my first IUI cycle soon. It can feel like a minefield, but great to know there are others are on the same journey. More than happy to connect x

[Mbm123 in reply to Lostinmaze]

Hi Lostinmaze, thanks for your message. Do you mind me asking if you had to be referred by your GP ? I’m very early on in my journey, researching clinics at the moment, it’s not an easy decision with the costs involved. I wish you all the luck with you IUI cycle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated x

[Lostinmaze]

Hi Mbm123, I didnt go through my GP. I knew I wouldn't be entitled to any help on my own so went straight for private. I initially attended a webinar given by the London Womens Clinic, it was focused on chosen single motherhood. At the time I was 35 and just looking at my options. The webinar helped me understand the different treatments available and that i wasn't alone in what I was looking for. Following the webinar I went in for a general scan, blood tests and a consultation with the consultant. Again she went through my options and my journey choices. It can feel pretty over whelming trying to figure out all the treatments and clinics, I choose LWC because it had a specific consultant for single women and its not too far away from work (its helpful to be close by with all the appointments). I found the hardest part the sperm selection and then getting it to my clinic. All I can say is take your time dont rush yourself. It can be quite emotional going through sites flicking through like a catalogue, but take your time read all the profiles and personal statements they really do help. Please do message me if you want to talk any more, I have only told a select group of people what Im going through it can feel really lonely at times but the excitement of knowing ive taken control of the situation outweighs the nerves. I couldn't not try! Xx

[Mbm123 in reply to Lostinmaze]

Hi, I have a GP appointment in a couple of weeks, I’m hoping that she will refer me for any tests needed to help keep private costs down, as I’m uncertain as to whether I will get any help. They make it so difficult , you have to fall into a category to get help , so unfair. I came across this site by chance and it’s so nice to know that we’re not alone, why shouldn’t we become a single parent by choice. I’ve read about LWC but unfortunately I’m to far away. The clinics I’ve looked into have said they will introduce me to the donor team , all very daunting. I’m the same as you in that I have only told a select few. Thank you for your advice it’s been very helpful and good luck xx

[Lostinmaze in reply to Mbm123]

Very best of luck with it all, As I mentioned take your time and ask as many questions as you can think of, no question is a silly one there is no harm in knowing too much. You've already made a big decision on taking this step be kind to yourself and take each step in your stride x

[Mbm123 in reply to Lostinmaze]

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. Best of luck to you too xx