Hey guys,
Would love to hear your stories on how you felt during transfer and the TWW.
I have been so excited up until the last couple of days. Arrived at the clinic and it felt a bit like an out of body experience. I could also see my husband was really anxious and nervous.
Whilst we were waiting in theatre for the doctor we started doubting our decision and felt really upset.
After the transfer I cried and felt full of guilt for not being excited and positive 
please help!
I have had 4 transfers, 3 BFN and 1 chemical and each time I’ve felt different. I think this process itself and the fact that you are pumped full of hormones can send your head into a spin. This last time I was full of positivity up to half way through the 2ww then I started dreading OTD. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Is this your first transfer? X
Yes it’s our first transfer, I guess I would felt better and also blamed the hormones if my husband wasn’t also feeling the same
Quite understandable to be feeling all over the place. It’s a massive learning curve!! X
We're just starting the donor egg process (having tests at our Spanish clinic next week) but one thing I've seen a lot of people who used donor eggs say is that the second they found out they were pregnant, that was their baby and any doubts they may have had totally disappeared.
It also helps me to think that the egg donor is literally donating one cell and my body will do the rest. From one tiny cell our body, blood, nourishment and love will grow a beautiful baby. And I'm so grateful to the donor for giving me that chance to be a mother.
Hope this helps anyway. I know it's a big step and I'm also finding it daunting. Wishing you all the best xx
Hey, this was exactly where my headspace was until yesterday. Honestly just don’t know what came over us, fear and anxiety just hit us. Hoping to keep self distracted during the TWW xx
It’s a really big step and decision to take and I think it’s probably human nature to have doubts when you get close to getting what you’ve fought so hard for, for so long. Totally agree with sunshine809 in that you will be doing all the hard work carrying and nurturing the baby in your body, and I doubt you’ll have any doubts at all when you’re holding your child in your arms xx good luck
hello we had 5 transfers. The first 2 I cried when they didn’t work the 3rd and 4th were chemicals I was pretty numb because I was so used to it failing I suppose I just expected it too. The 5th worked. I had zero symptoms of pregnancy and couldn’t believe it when they said it had worked. I am currently lying with my 5 month old double donor. We could not love her more even if we tried. She looks like me and my niece and people comment that she looks like her dad and has my mother in laws eyes 🤷♀️ it has made no difference to us that she’s donor and honestly never has, the second they said we were pregnant we knew we loved this little peanut.
It’s such a difficult journey don’t be too hard on yourself xxx
I was disappointed that I didn't feel excited but I think it was more down to feeling like it was our last chance and with already going through so much before hand maybe its your minds way of trying to protect yourself.
I can confirm that when we got our positive this then changed to worry and wanting to do everything to protect them and axiety. Once I could feel him move I loved it and started to get so excited and built that bond. My son is now 20 months old and I can honestly say that he is mine and I don't give the DE part much thought other than knowing at some point that we will navigate that together but I wish he didn't have to (if that makes sense)
I can’t express how grateful I am for this community. Thank you all so much for your replies x Don’t think I would have got past all these feelings without you.
Feeling so much better today and hoping I stay like this now until the test date xx
Hi, I think it’s really natural and normal to feel how you do. I remember in my 2 ww with my son who is donor sperm conceived suddenly panicking and thinking ‘what have I done!’
But once he was a little blob on the ultrasound machine he was all I could think about and your baby will feel like the most amazing baby in the world regardless of genetics.
I have just had a DE (double donor) cycle and today went for a 6 week scan and my heart melted when I saw my blob on the screen. I felt a little bit of reassurance that I had used an egg from a lady likely to be 10 years younger than me and that gave me peace over the decision to leave my OE behind after a further 3 failed transfers.
Good luck, it’s not an easy time and my heart goes out to you xx 🍀🍀
Had a really good counselling session this week. The fact I had a pile of tissues at the ready but didn’t need any was a great sign. Feeling happy with our decision.
Although now I am getting scared as I am 5dp5dt and haven’t had any symptoms and I just really hope this embryo has stuck xx
i didn't have doubts about de transfer. But I was not excited because I feared I would not get pregnant then I did. Still I was not excited because I feared something terrible would happen like a miscarriage. I was never excited at all during the pregnancy because I lived under a cloud of fear and anxiety.
I got preeclampsia at 35 weeks had an emergency operation. When they came out I was not excited because I was sick and my blood pressure didn't come down I had to go to intensive care unit. After two days they brought me back to my room I wasn't excited because one of my baby had severe jaindice so was being treated for that but they would bring both of them every 3 hours to my room I could not rest and I was swollen. I told them to stop bringing them every three hours because I was going back home without any support.
I started feeling excited maybe a month after the kids were born when my fear of bad things happening subsided. I still have fear and wake up at night to check on breathing etc…. They are 5 now. There is not a single night I have slept without waking up at least 3 times a night to check on them touch their tummies and chests.
I am a mother by DE. I loved my kids from the day they were put into my tummy. But my lack of excitement was because of the PTSD I had from the traumatic experiences in my Ivf journey.
Mixed feelings
The numbers are in: fertilisation update 
Transfer day is here!
**Sensitive** - BFP 14DP5DT on 4th IVF round with Stage 4 Endo
