New Here - Hi

[azzyness]

Hi all.

I've only just discovered FN or any community at all.

We've been trying for 2.5 years. We tried naturally for a year and just as the tests were starting to happen, I became pregnant. My partner was told he had a slightly low sperm count and not fantastic motility, but nothing overly concerning. I was told I 'probably' ovulated, but that my blood tests we inconclusive. We cancelled further testing at this point because I was pregnant... I miscarried at 11 weeks in June 2022. I'm sure a lot of you can relate in that it was devastating... what has made things worse is that I found out I was pregnant 4 days after my grandmother passed.

I've also been going through court as I pressed charges against someone who raped me years ago, and it took 5 years to get to trial. The trial has only just finished and the outcome was not guilty. Also devastating. We've also been trying without success to get pregnant again this whole time. We've just been referred to a Fertility Clinic and are awaiting to get to the front of the queue, so to speak. I guess everything has taken a whole lot longer as we did have one pregnancy..

My best friend is now going through IVF, and I wish her all the luck, but I can't support her if things go well. I just can't and I feel like the worst person in the world for it. I don't really have anyone else I'm close to either beyond my partner...

I'm now trying to get to grips with all the acronyms, funding, options and what may or may not be the next action for us... but yeah, that's me. Hi.

[CarlottaD27]

I just wanted to come on and say hi and hope you feel welcome here! I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through on so many levels. Life can be so cruel and unfair.

I've not started IVF yet but had lots of anxieties (including recent scary blood test results which indicated there may be a cancer) and the support and advice on this forum has been invaluable.

I can also totally emphasise with finding it hard to deal with someone else potentially having success. It's so hard seeing people around getting pregnant and i've chatted about those feelings of horrible jealousy / anger / self-hatred / bitterness with people on here and i think it's totally understandable given circumstances.

[azzyness in reply to CarlottaD27]

Oh gosh, that does sound very scary! I hope it turned out okay?

Thank you. It’s been a rough couple of years to say the least.

[CarlottaD27 in reply to azzyness]

Thank you. I'm still nervously waiting for results. I can imagine it must feel like your life is on hold / consumed by all of this. Fingers crossed you hear back from the fertility referral soon and can then feel like you're moving in the right direction x

[Positivechangeplease]

I’m so sorry for all the difficulties you’ve been through. It’s all very stressful which is such a fertility killer. I can definitely relate. I had done ivf because of my age and almost 2 years unsuccessful and sperm borderline. Then covid hit, I had polyps and had to wait for them to be removed, fell naturally pregnant 8 months later and sadly lost it at 12 weeks so I entirely understand on that part and the rest of your ordeal sounds terribly stressful and unjust. You have age on your side, it takes a lot of patience but you will get there. Here for any support and the best of luck! X