Update on measuring behind - another loss 😔 no embryos left

[Nightingale92]

I thought I would update because there were so many lovely people on here who share their stories and encouragement with me a couple of weeks ago.

Unfortunately at our 10 week scan yesterday the baby’s heartbeat had stopped. 😔 we were measuring 9/10 days behind from the start, so I was half expecting it, but the growth had been consistent and we saw a heartbeat on the previous scans.

I am feeling so defeated. We lost our daughter to premature labour in 2020 (natural conception). Tried again for 18 months with no luck, so went down the private IVF/ICSI route. Our first transfer was BFP but query ectopic and lost it at 7 weeks, then this was our only frostie. 😔 I feel like my body is broken from losing our daughter. We don’t have any money left for another cycle of ICSI and our stupid consultant persuaded us against a package deal because she was “confident we would get our rainbow from our first cycle”. I’m so angry about it and I don’t know if I can keep putting myself through this 😢 How did people keep going? Did anyone manage to conceive naturally after needing IVF (unexplained secondary infertility in our case - although some semen issues so possibly MFI)? I don’t even know if I want to try again anyway - it’s too painful. But knowing that we can’t even afford to is just so gutting.

Sorry - feeling pretty low and needed to get it all out xx

[Boo718]

my heart is aching for you both 😢 I’m so sorry to read this. I can’t offer any advice about conceiving naturally as for us this is a complete no go. But I do know that strength comes from somewhere. Please look after yourself take time to heal. I’ve been to see a councillor and it honestly does help even just to scream cry and let it all out xxx 😘😘😘

[Nightingale92 in reply to Boo718]

thank you so much for your reply ❤️ It makes such a difference knowing that people get it and are thinking of you. We are planning to book a holiday in the next few months. We have put it off for so long because of IVF etc but we are just going to go for it and take some headspace. Hopefully we can work out a way forward after that xx

[Klndmr]

I can't offer any advice either but just wanted to say how deeply sorry I am for all you have been and going through. Sending you much love, strength and hugs ❤️❤️❤️

[Nightingale92 in reply to Klndmr]

thank you ❤️ Xx

[Hidden]

We conceived after failed IVF - unexplained fertility with no issues found.

I used Letrozole, 4 years after conceiving my 1st post failed IVF while we were waiting to use our last frozen embryo and the Letrozole worked....with Progesterone and ovulation induction for 1 month, conceived on the month without the induction though.

I am 42 so wasn't expecting to conceive using Letrozole.

Currently 14 weeks pregnant.

IVF just didn't have a good result for us - but def had a hand in stimulating my system to concieve.....same as Letrozole.

Don't lose hope....

X

[Nightingale92 in reply to Hidden]

Ah I’m so pleased for you - that’s amazing ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story - it gives me some hope. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well xxx

[IVFmumma]

so sorry for your loss 😢 and for everything you've been through. I just wanted to say that if you did want to go another round then maybe you can talk to your clinic about retrospectively doing the package deal. So topping it up almost. My clinic actually lets you do this. Worth a shot. Sending you strength at such a hard time. Look after yourself xx

[Nightingale92 in reply to IVFmumma]

Oh it’s great that your clinic do that. We did ask after our first transfer ended in the loss and they said it wouldn’t be possible, but maybe if I complain about our consultant basically guaranteeing us a baby then that might change their minds. It’s worth a shot. Thank you for your reply xxx

[IVFmumma in reply to Nightingale92]

good luck with whatever you decide to do next 😘😘 xx

[Jess1981]

I'm so sorry for all your losses. I lost my daughter Amelia at 20 weeks in 2020. We never got a cause of death . After losing her I had 2 more early losses then fell with my daughter Eliza who is 7 months old. I was 40 having her! And she was naturally conceived- I had had a 7 year struggle to have our first daughter Francesca due a delayed diagnosis of endometriosis. Endometriosis was thx only fertility factor and once that was fixed we were able to conceive naturally albeit we did suffer from recurring miscarriages. I'm assuming you had the miscarriage testing? We did and nothing flagged up but they did agree to steroids which i had with Francesca and Eliza till 12 weeks ( slightly high NK cells) whether that helped Eliza or my body needed a break from losing Amelia as we due to my age we started trying first period following Amelia. I just want ti say it is possible to have a baby after a late loss many women do. Recurrent pregnancy loss is so hard emotionally. I didn't feel we would ever have another baby after Amelia. If you haven't been referred to a miscarriage clinic I'd get a referral ASAP. Ultimately you have to do what is best for you anc only you know that. But right now isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions- you need to take this time to grieve and heal every life matters 😢💔 hope you have plenty of support Xx

[Nightingale92 in reply to Jess1981]

Thanks so much for sharing your story ❤️ I’m so sorry to hear about all the loss and pain you’ve been through. It’s such a rough journey. Our first 3 pregnancies were conceived naturally, no issues. But the first one was TFMR for fetal abnormalities, the second was our living child (although issues with my cervix which meant we only had a 70% chance of getting to viability), then the third was Lila who we lost at just over 17 weeks when my cervical stitch failed and I PPROM’d. 😔 after that my body just seemed to give up and we tried to conceive for 18 months with no luck - not even a chemical. Our others were all conceived within a couple of months. I think maybe the loss and the resulting operations that I had to have on my cervix may have impacted my fertility somehow. This is technically our third consecutive loss now (even though Lila was just my cervix letting her down) so my consultant is going to speak with Prof Heazell and see if he would recommend any testing. We never had issues with early miscarriage before so I feel like now we are stumbling at all hurdles 😔

Sorry for the big rant. Thanks again for your reply - I’m so pleased you finally got your rainbow ❤️ xxx

[FertileMind]

Hello lovely 🥰

My heart went out to you reading your post. I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling now. I would go back to the well-meaning lady who dissuaded your from doing the package and ask to upgrade to the package deal. Your holiday sounds fab to decompress - we are all under so much stress during IVF and the resulting inflammation heightens the immune system to act on anything foreign. We’re your progesterone levels tracked? Steroids? Sending healing light as you go through this difficult time 🙏❤️

[Nightingale92 in reply to FertileMind]

Thanks so much for your reply. ❤️ I asked about tracking my progesterone in my second transfer because I started bleeding at 9dpt in my first cycle (even with to a BFP). But the clinic said it’s pointless to do testing because the level fluctuates so much depending on the time of day, what you’ve eaten/drank etc that it’s just not reliable. 🤷🏻‍♀️ They did agree to give me progesterone support in my natural FET “just for peace of mind”, though. I actually don’t think it’s a progesterone issue, though, because in my fresh cycle I stopped taking my progesterone after low HCG and then they were tested a week later (HCG had weirdly shot up) and progesterone was high, despite no progesterone pessaries for over a week! We have never had issues with early miscarriage before IVF - our losses have always been late or TFMR before now. I thought we would only have to worry past the 14-15 week but, but now it seems we can’t even get to that point 😔 xx

[Brentside]

Hi Nightingale

Dont give up your miracle baby will come

we tried ivf here and abroad and spent over £50,000 then we opted for surragacy abroad in the ukraine which failed four times on the fifth attempt it worked although premature we now have a beautiful baby boy who is 10 months pleass dont give up this experience will make yous stronger

[Nightingale92 in reply to Brentside]

Thank you for your reply. Wow - you have been through such a journey - I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve had to go through ❤️ I’m so pleased to hear that you have your little one. xx

[MariaHdz]

i am so sorry for your loss. I have no exact personal experience from this, but maybe insemination might be of help? My husband also has sperm issues and I have PCOS, so before IVF they recommended IUI. They were very positive that it would work. For me it didn't, but I know that it has worked for many. They also select the best sperm to increase chances. What i can recommend is to take a pause for a couple months before taking a decision now, as everything is too raw. I had 2 failled medicated cycles, 6 failled IUI and 2 failled FET. I also had to take a pause. I had never had a positive. In my case pregnancy was impossible without treatment as I dont ovulate. In my pause i ended up going to the endocrinologist and he found out things that fertility missed and that made implantation not possible. He also restored my ovulation (i stopped ovulating at 14). He also checked my thyroid and d vitamin (problems with this, cause implantation issues and can cause early natural miscarriages... some people even have a thyroid that seems to be working, but still have subclinic hypothyroidism, this gives problems during pregnancy and needs to be treated), I also know people that conceived naturally after IVF. My recommendation is, if you decide to take a pause and try naturally, try to go to an endocrinologist with your partner. He can find things that maybe fertility missed (or that they might seem unrelated, but are not), and can help you both to get pregnant naturally, or make a treatment more possible to work in the future.

[Nightingale92 in reply to MariaHdz]

Thanks so much for your reply, and sharing your experience. Those are really helpful suggestions - thank you. I think you’re right - we need to take a break and work on getting into the right headspace. Then reassess what our next options might be. xx

[MariaHdz in reply to Nightingale92]

I think you are right. I was so hell bent on having treatments back to back for years that stopping was not something I considered. I was afraid of pausing and I was afraid of continuing. But for me, it was the best decision. I also started therapy and it made me realize that I was subjected to supar and unprofessional treatment on mybold clinic. I also forgot to tell you, I bought a Mira device. I did not get pregnant with it, but it helped me to know more over myself and my hormons. Then I went to the endocrynologist and I could see real time that the treament worked. As you ovulate, it might be very well worthy for you, I know many persons that drop IVF and using Mira they got pregnant. There is a Mira fertility group on facebook. Maybe you can enter and see if it could help you

[TexasRose210]

sorry for your loss

[Kimbob82]

I’m so sorry to read this, you’ve been through such a tough time. Life can be so unfair. I was literally just reading your post the other day hoping you’d had a positive outcome as I’m going through exactly the same thing right now. Went for my 7 week scan the other day and am measuring a week behind, all they saw was a yolk sac and a gestational sac. Most stories I’ve come across don’t seem to have a happy ending. 😒 I’m not feeling very positive. This was my 14th transfer so I can empathise with the hopelessness you are feeling. Take care of yourself Xx

[Nightingale92 in reply to Kimbob82]

I’m so sorry that you’re going through similar 😔❤️ It’s such a horrible limbo phase. I really hope things turn out differently for you. I did manage to find a few positive stories, which gave me hope, but like you said - most were negative 😔 when is your next scan? I think if you’ve caught up a few days then you might be ok. With mine we went from about a week behind, to 9 days behind, to 10 days behind (but still a heartbeat). 😔 And then two weeks later no heartbeat. I really hope you have a different outcome - it’s definitely possible so I’ll keep everything crossed for you 🤞❤️ Xx

[Kimbob82 in reply to Nightingale92]

My next scan is in 4 days… I just keep telling myself that what will be; will be. There’s absolutely nothing I can do to change it.

I’m not religious but in this situation I’m praying for a miracle. 🙏🏻 Thank you for your kind words and remember to be kind to yourself. X 💓

[MariaHdz in reply to Kimbob82]

In case it helps, in my 7 weeks scan, it was measuring 6 days behind. I got another ultrasound almost at 9 weeks, and it was now 3 days too big. Then i had another one on 9 weeks 3 days but this time it was abdomminal, and it was a week behind or more (still that type of ultrasound is less accurate +/- 5 days), and then 3 days too big at 12 weeks scan. I was very worried, as i was also bleeding all that time (and I still do), but I am now 14 weeks. They told me that it can be normal and it can catch up and did not found the reson for the bleeding. I hope that everything goes well for you.

[Kimbob82 in reply to MariaHdz]

That’s wonderful Maria, so happy for you. And thank you for giving me some hope. It’s so hard to stay positive in these situations Xx

[MariaHdz in reply to Kimbob82]

it is very difficult. The worry is always there... i hope it goes well for all of us.