Rant: couple disagreements after failing one cycle after other

[Katya22]

as a couple we are finding it hard after two years of journey and without any support from family. As they live in a different continent!

all the sudden my husband has decided to move to Scotland for job purposes! He thinks he can manage the strain of treatment and new employers in Scotland.

we live in a town in England and for treatment we travel to Bristol which is like 2hour journey by car early in the morning.

I am not quite sure that I can do this by my own leaving a part.

Is it the end of this journey for me. Why don’t I get some peace and forget about all this. I can’t stop crying.

I can’t convince him at all. He says he can do all naturally but it’s ridiculous to think while we are leaving apart. And in past when we lived apart it did not help to conceive either.

It’s quite unlike as I have accepted that long ago we both tend to get stressed out and we have lost that romance already hence we had to take the step forward for IVF.

Moreover, he is soon going to be 48 and I am 42. He thinks we can take break from all for six months or so! I am all scared without stability it’s all emotionally very difficult!

I am finding it all hard to deal with. Sorry about ranting!

[LizzieBW]

Hi Katya, I didn't want to read ,& run. It must be so tough considering change and instability at a time you're juggling so much else with trying to conceive. I don't mean to pry but i take it you cannot relocate with your Hubby? Are you nhs or private funded in Bristol? I ask only because some areas of Scotland have way better nhs funding than some parts of England. I'm sure this will all be something you've considered.

If you're stuck in a position having time apart then I think most importantly it's for you to decide whether you can definitely cope and agree to take a break from treatment for 6 months. Remember it's a 2-way decision here. Perhaps some fertility counselling could help with your change in circumstances? I remember well that any delay for me was overwhelming at times.

Hope you're okay. Xx

[Hoping20]

Hi Katya, I am sorry you are having to go through time of change and instability. As if infertility on its own wasn’t hard enough. I think when you feel ready to, talk to your husband about the pro’s and con’s of his decision. Talking things through may help. If you’re still struggling then I’d suggest a fertility counsellor - ideally where you both attend. Hopeful you can both come to some sort of agreement. Thinking of you x

[Divii]

hope things are better; keep us posted

[DolphinJ]

Aw, so difficult and I'm sorry to hear this. I remember by hubby being unhappy at work and I didn't want to move because of going through ivf... but I didn't realise I could probably have moved clinic. I guess I'd just advise looking at all your options and getting counselling as others have said. Praying for you xx