*Sensitive* Just can’t cope with anxiety

[Beechnut1]

Firstly it absolutely not my intention to offend anyone but I honestly don’t know where else to turn.

I am currently on the waiting list for donor eggs after 2 awful cycles his year that resulted in empty follicles and no eggs collected.

I am incredibly lucky and have a little boy conceived through IVF he was my 4 th transfer.

I have had 3 natural pregnancies that have ended in miscarriage.

Well last week I got a BFP - which has thrown me, of course I was happy but after spending so much time processing that I was never going to have another genetic child and came to complete peace and excitement to move forward with DE, this pregnancy has paralysed me with anxiety. It feels like there is so much ridding on this, if it ends in a miscarriage (as all my natural pregnancies have done) I just don’t know how I will piece myself back together. I still have 2 weeks to wait before I can have a scan and I’m just not coping.

I’m not sure why I’m writhing, I suppose you are likely the only group of people that will truly ‘get’ how I’m feeling.

I have no clue how I’m going to get through these next 2 weeks!

Love to all whatever part of the journey you are on ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Buisquits]

Congratulations! It's important to look after yourself and to talk. Talk and name your feelings and fears. If you contact your gp they might be able to help or private counseling might be quicker. Talk to your partner too. You are strong and you will get through it, but it will be easier with help.

Good luck with everything ❤️

[Beechnut1 in reply to Buisquits]

Thank you so much and good luck with everything for you too ❤️

[Cinderella5]

Blooming heck lovely! You've been through the mill. I know you have your beautiful wee man already but that doesn't mean you aren't riddled with anxiety and its only natural after your losses. I'm so sorry for all that you have been through so far. I know you know this having already been through IVF but just go one day at a time, its all you can do. Sending loads of hugs and positive vibes....you are doing fabulous!!❤️💪🏻xxx

[Beechnut1 in reply to Cinderella5]

Yip you are right already having a little one doesn’t make the anxiety and less acute! One day at a time is absolutely all I can do, it’s amazing how in this process you are always begging time to pass quicker! Hope all is well with you and your gorgeous twins. Huge thanks for sending such kind words ❤️❤️❤️

[Cinderella5 in reply to Beechnut1]

Awww you're welcome, you've done the same for me. It's just hard but nice to have some understanding and support even if we can't really help. We are all ok here, its been a really tough year losing both my parents but we are getting there.xxx

[Hidden]

Oh bless you - it’s no surprise you are in a state! It must feel such a pressured situation. I know you have had natural miscarriages but remember you have also had your son, and no matter how he sprouted you carried him from week three to birth and all was ok - and it can be again I promise

I agree with Cinderella it has to be one day at a time, but also agree you need to talk it all out day in day our so you aren’t bottling up the stress.

Feel free to message if you want to talk it through and I can offer probably predictable cliche responses but hopefully they will provide you with reassurance when you need it? So easy to see things when not in your shoes. Huge hugs xx

[Beechnut1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much Daisy, it’s so hard to focus on the positives I think it’s part of protecting yourselves to assume ‘ it’s all going to end badly’ and you know what it might and somehow I will pick myself up and keep going. I’ll keep talking, feeling and going day by day.

I often think of you and what stage you might be at, thank you as always for your ongoing kindness and loveliness. All the luck in the world for wherever you are at ❤️❤️❤️

[Clayhugs]

Oh I’ve no advice as I’m just at the beginning of this ivf experience but I am sending virtual positive vibes and hugs that all will go the way you want. As daisy said, hold onto the fact and proof it can work from your beautiful boy. ❤️

[Savvy_teapot]

It's ok to feel what you feel. So hard when you feel anxious but you are telling yourself to stop feeling anxious. All I can say is be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. Maybe plan out the two weeks with some things to do with your son and also some treats for yourself!