Advice needed following the response from a recent complaint we made about the clinic.

[JadeH92]

After our egg collection we decided to go for the Embryoscope option, obviously to prevent opening the incubator but also so we had the images / videos of our embryos.

We have the video of our first embryo which sadly ended in miscarriage however, following my last transfer I never received the video. I contacted the clinic several times to be informed there was I.T issues and this would be looked into.

This wasn't the only issue we encountered with the clinic this time around which was a drastic difference from the experience we had the first time around.

The communication was beyond poor on several occasions, and after over 10 weeks of the poor communication and no update regarding the video of the embryo we lost due to the last failed transfer we decided to contact the clinic to express our disappointment.

The poor communication was obviously very distressing when we were going through an already very stressful situation. However, the videos of our embryos meant more to us.

We received our response today apologising for the poor communication and stating more training will be given to admin staff etc to prevent this happening in the future. More apologies were given for the I.T issues and I have been advised it is being escalated to the highest I.T department to resolve this as a priority.

We have been offered compensation for the complaint as a whole, however, the money isn't important getting the images back are, so we are not sure we are going to accept the offer yet.

Basically, I am just wondering if anyone has ever experienced this? Also what do you think my chances of getting the videos back for the embryo that didn't take and the other 3 we have in the freezer? It might sound silly for these videos to mean soo much but it is all that we litterally physically have / can see, if that makes sense.

Thanks in advance.

[Twiglet2]

That’s so crap of them! Honestly the admin side of our clinic is the same I don’t think they get how much every little thing they do means to us! Honestly if it were me I would take the money and move on, sure it’s a cool thing to have but I’m not sure a video of an embryo that didn’t make it is useful emotionally anyway as there are so many other things you must have on your mind during this journey. Our clinic used to display the embryos on a big screen before transfer and you could take a pic, but they don’t do that anymore. I was disappointed at first but I promise you once you get your take home baby none of this matters whatsoever 🤗 the bigger question is whether you now trust your clinics competency and if not do you have alternative options for your next transfer would be where my head was thinking. Best thing is to try to find a way to put it behind you and not let them add any stress to you 💜xx

[JadeH92 in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you so much for your reply!

Yeah I totally get what you mean, the video of the embryo from the failed transfer isn't as important now considering it failed. After my transfer it was more important to me because I wanted to see the embryo and its development because that could have been the embryo that gave us our baby.

I'm just more upset for the future transfers especially if any more end in miscarriage opposed to being failed transfers, because the only physical thing I have from my first pregnancy are those images (morbid I know but I think this process does make you prepare for the worst).

I have had the same consultant for years I was with him when I was even on the oral medication at a different clinic so I do trust him and I do feel he is trying different things each time there are issues etc. Also the communication I have received since receiving my response has been amazing, so I just hope that continues.

It's just annoying it took me to complain because, I didn't want any special treatment just didn't want to be told to expect a phone call on x date and not receive it or to leave a message and never receive a reply and I wanted to express to the clinic not just for me but others that these things matter.

Thanks again for your reply I appreciate it 💕

[Twiglet2 in reply to JadeH92]

I totally understand and that’s good that they are really helpful in others ways. I feel the same about my clinic and it’s why I don’t move, the nurses are the absolute diamonds of this world and the consultants are great too but the admin side are terrible! I did complain too you defo have to advocate for yourself it’s absolutely not special treatment to get common courtesy and for them to get back to you when they promised too, especially after a mistake 🤗 xx

[Purplehedgehog87]

I understand completely why you want those videos- they were your potential babies and youre not ready to let them go, its like grief and losing something dear to you. to grieve often we need something physical such as a video, picture etc as we dont have anything else- I kept my video for 5 months after and didn't realise I hadn't fully grieved or processed it. unfortunately if they can't get them back they are gone, so it's finding other ways to commemorate and let go , I cant recommend accessing a counsellor to help with this enough. I did print out pictures of the video, made confetti and released the bits - you could do that with a little drawing or a letter to your little embryos, burn and watch it drift into the sky, plant something in your garden or somewhere else s a memorial. it will take time and its ok to feel it and not feel ready to let it go but you will be able to. just support each other keep talking and it will get easier. well done for complaining too, it can be hard but if no-one tells them they won't know to improve, its up to you what you feel you want to accept from the clinic, for me I'd rather know exactly what went wrong and how they are going to stop it from happening again, although a full cycle refund wouldn't go amiss!

[JadeH92 in reply to Purplehedgehog87]

They are actually really sweet ideas so thank you for sharing. I think that is something I would definitely consider with the embryos that didn't take however, I honestly don't think I could ever get rid of video / images of the embryo we miscarriaged. It might not be healthy but to me it would be like throwing away a scan photo I had because unfortunately when we did go for the scan there wasn't an image there for us to keep anymore. That is another reason I don't want to accept the cash because once I do I think they will just stop trying to locate the images etc. It's not a full cycle refund its half of the price of what we paid for the Embryoscope but again that's not massively important to us. Thank you so much for replying! Xxx

[Purplehedgehog87]

I never thought I'd get rid of video it's still somewhere on the laptop but not easy to find, I never wanted to let go and be more at peace with it but it will get easier. I felt I needed to process it before I started next cycle for my mental health as stress does not help, it was about 4 months after til I even realised I needed to grieve. Thinking of you x