Last cycle fail. End of journey

[Hopefulmother]

My dear fertility friends

After crying my eyes dry I have the strength to write this post

I found out today that my last two embryos have failed to implant and I have nothing left

This marks the end of 18 cycles of treatment and thousands spent for nothing

Thank you to each of you for the advice and encouragement shared

I had people to talk to when my own family and friends couldn’t understand

I still have loans to pay off and I’m emigrating soon so I’m hoping the change in country is a good distraction for me

My husband and I have decided to destroy our remaining 3BB embryo (this was the worst quality of the 5 we had) and destroy any frozen sperm as well

We don’t plan to persue treatment again as I have absolutely no faith in science and only in God and He will provide if it’s meant for us

Thank you all again and I wish you all to have wombs and arms filled with healthy babies

I will be deleting this account as the sensitive msgs that pop up are quite difficult for me to see even tho I am so happy for each of u that have succeeded

Take care

Love to all of u

[Hidden]

Sending you lots of love and hope for happiness in the future, i’m sorry you find yourself here but I am sure you have the strength to heal over time xx

[Snez84]

I am so sorry to read your post - a very difficult one to write and decision to make I’m sure.

I don’t want to throw a spanner in the works but my little boy was a 3BC and the hospital didn’t want to freeze the embryo at the time. It was also our last and lowest grade embryo out of the 3 we had. We went ahead with the cycle on a whim, not thinking it will work. I know you have made your mind up but for now, maybe keep it on ice until you’ve processed the outcome of this last round…. Just incase.

I’m sorry if you didn’t want to hear stories like what I’ve posted and I hope it doesn’t upset you. In the meantime, I’ll wish you well for your future, good luck for your move and as hard as it is, don’t let this journey define who you are, you are worth so much more 💛 lots of love xx

[Hopefulmother in reply to Snez84]

Thank you for the words of Hope but I already gave them the go ahead to destroy everything and I’m at peace with my decision. Unfortunately I don’t have the emotional, physical and financial strength to do another FET. Barely covering my current loan repayments. So weird to have a loan that you are paying off for something you don’t have. I finally get to live my life without tracking ovulation, without living in two week intervals, sex can finally be fun again and not timed, I’m done with injections and pessaries and miss wanda and blood tests and doctors calls to say u have failed again. I’m so excited to live again. We each have a journey written for us. And I believe I have many more amazing memories to make. Who knows…. Maybe il end up adopting one day or maybe when I least expect it il find myself naturally pregnant ❤️❤️❤️

[Snez84 in reply to Hopefulmother]

It’s great that you’re looking at things in such a positive way and I’m glad you’ve made peace with it and have so much to look forward to. It sounds like a huge weight has been lifted and I honestly wish you all the happiness for the future in whatever form it comes in - it certainly sounds like you deserve it! 💛

[XOXO13]

I can’t imagine how difficult this post was for you to write. So I just wanted to send you my love and wish you all the best for your future ❤️ I am incredibly sorry that you’ve had to endure so much xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi. I have sent you a private message as it contained an email address. Diane

[Faith103]

So so sad to read this. My eyes filled up!

Lost for words but I wish you as much happiness as you can in your future going forward.

What a journey you have had but you must be built like an ox.

Sending you lots of love xxx ❤️

[Yellow611]

Good luck with your new life abroad and the life you will now have without the constant cloud of fertility treatment. I cant imagine how your feeling, but I can't understand how difficult a decision it must have been.Claim back the time you have lost in every wait along the treatment process but living each day more to the full than you would have before.

I hope you have that inner peace that will allow you to do that xx

[nT455]

I am really sorry to hear that it didn't work 😥. Truly, it's a heartbreaking journey to go on but I admire your strength both for percevering for 18 cycles and for deciding enough is enough. Take some time to heal and hope the move to the new country will go well. X

[hoping2021]

I’m sorry things haven’t worked as hoped. Thinking of you. This journey is so hard. Xxx

[HortC11]

I’m so sorry to hear what you have been through, I hope you find peace and happiness in the future x

[Hopecontinues]

Hi,I know there are no words that can make a difference, but I wanted to say that I admire you for both your perseverance and knowing when to walk away. 18 cycles is quite something, we all know what that takes out of you physically and emotionally - you must be a very strong person.

I am fighting back tears writing this, life can be so unfair. I really hope the change of scenery brings you a miracle. You deserve it.

Sending you a massive hug 🫂

X

[Bomboncita]

Sending you all my love

[Purplehedgehog87]

I'm sorry the journey has taken you on a path you really didn't want or expect but I hope you can find peace and joy in this different path you find yourself on once you've had time to grieve and process. All the best wishes in the world and a new start might just be the beginning of the next great chapter in your life with your husband x

[LoveToGive]

I am deeply sorry that you had to write this post. You are stronger than you will ever know. Sending love and comfort and I hope your new move will be a light in this darkness. Xoxox

[AMJean]

Sending love xx