Sad after transfer…… 😞

[Wishful199]

I am 40 and had my third transfer yesterday (2nd FET) but it did not go well and I’m feeling so sad going into the TWW 😞

I had a stressful evening the night before transfer which didn’t set me up well and DH wasn’t able to come with me either. Then on arrival found out one of my embys didn’t make the thaw. Cue tears before, during and after the transfer as so worried this won’t work, time and options are running out and now I only have one in the freezer.

Calmed myself down as needed to pick up a lubion prescription….. also a complete nightmare! They kept getting it wrong and it took 3 trips back and forth (the pharmacy is nowhere near the clinic) and over 2.5 hours to finally get 2 weeks worth. Im sorry to say I lost it.

Came home, ate chocolate and went to bed early after some relaxation and meditation.

Now just feeling so sad about the whole situation and the pickle I got myself into….. convinced it’s failed before it’s even started.

Been googling (not helpful) about stress and implantation failure and most research says that despite general belief there is limited evidence that they are linked. Praying that is reliable research.

Not sure of the point of my post….. just want to share with people that understand I guess.

Please all keep your fingers crossed that despite the carnage and emotion I get a positive outcome 🌈🙏🏻🤞🏻

Hope everyone else is ok x

[JoyfulStar]

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way during your 2WW. Completely get why you are feeling low- It is already a nerve wracking time and to have other issues compound it will obviously make it worse.

From personal experience, external stress did not impact on my outcome. I moved house during my two week wait last year from London to Liverpool. I now have a beautiful 3 month old daughter. Also, halfway through my 2WW, I was convinced it had not worked and got really down. I then prayed about it.

You can’t do much about what has already happened but you can try and stay as positive as you can for the next 2weeks. Why not distract yourself and do things that you enjoy- meet friends, watch a new series, go out for a lovely meal etc.

I’ll have you in my prayers 🙏🏾

[Wishful199 in reply to JoyfulStar]

Thank you so much. Think yesterday was just a horrible day. Trying to move myself back to the camp of 'it will either happen or it wont' and focus on staying positive for the remainder of the TWW. Thanks so much for your kind words x

[Petree86]

I completely understand where you are coming from as the whole transfer process is so anxiety provoking and completely takes the intimacy process of having children away. The least that we ask for is a stress free day to start the process of the 2ww!

I get that that's not how it happened for you but it doesn't take away from the fact that it could work. Like JoyfulStar said, try doing things to distract yourself and stay positive for a wonderful outcome! I will be thinking of you x

[Wishful199 in reply to Petree86]

I think the sadness beforehand came from the fact that I hadn't actually processed the last round properly. I felt so positive last time that I think being back in the hospital and then one emby not making it just pushed me over the edge. Going to keep the faith and hope for a miracle this time round. Thank you x

[Jane8412]

Keeping my fingers crossed that this is the round for you! So sorry you went through so much added stress when it is already one of the most stressful procedures to endure. Although it’s awful to feel so stressed I honestly don’t think it will have any impact on the result. If it is any help at all, my successful round was very stressful. I only got 2 eggs and had a breakdown, then went in last minute on day 3 for a transfer of what they said was an average embryo (they weren’t sure it would make it to day 5 to freeze). I also went in without my partner as it was unplanned and thought there was no chance it would work. But somehow it did. I really hope it does for you xx

[Wishful199 in reply to Jane8412]

Thank you so much for sharing. I’m sorry you had a stressful experience too but amazing news that it worked out ❤️ Fingers crossed I will follow your lead! X

[Jane8412 in reply to Wishful199]

🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

[Babyrainbow]

I know that having a transfer is a stressful process in itself without having external factors influence it further. I just had my transfer yesterday and could not sleep the day before. The sites are right, external factors of stress don’t affect the implantation. So do everything to calm yourself ( I know it is easier said than done). Take a walk, read a book, have a warm cup of tea or coffee and just think there is a little one ready to be yours. I am doing this. I feel weird I am talking to it already. TMI…

All said, hang in there. This time is yours for that rainbow baby. 🍀🍀🍀✨✨✨🤞🤞🤞🌈🌈🌈

[Wishful199 in reply to Babyrainbow]

Thank you! I have managed to pull myself together a bit more this afternoon. Been guzzling water, eaten a huge pack of pineapple (not that I think that does anything either?!) and trying to put my faith in the process.

We will have OTD the same day….. everything crossed that it is good news for both of us!! 🤞🏻🌈🍀 xx

[Babyrainbow in reply to Wishful199]

Whatever helps. I am binging on Netflix and chocolates. Just to keep my mind off. Wish we both success. 🌈❤️🍀🤗🤞

[Rainbowbaby22]

Good luck hun fingers 🤞 xx

[Wishful199 in reply to Rainbowbaby22]

Thank you 😘

[Llizzie]

Transfer was stressful for me. I was alone due to covid and only one of our embies made it by the morning of. I also had to go to work afterwards and my head was a shed. It still worked. Be kind to yourself and spoil yourself a little during your tww. Wishing you all the luck in the world. x

[Wishful199 in reply to Llizzie]

Thank you! I have chilled out today so now just really hope my body can pull itself into action too!! 🤞🏻 xx

[LuxFleur]

Yes, I don't think stress is the thing. On my MOST stressful transfers I got a BFP. And on my least, a BFN. Do not worry xo

[Wishful199 in reply to LuxFleur]

I hope you are right! Congrats on your BFP! x

[LuxFleur in reply to Wishful199]

Thanks. Sadly I ended up having 2 ms but still, no implantation problems due to stress xo

[Wishful199 in reply to LuxFleur]

Oh I am so sorry LuxFleur 😞 Are you going to try again do you think? X

[Wishful199]

Thank you so much everyone! I have another little blub this morning, i did destroy a Lindt chocolate Easter bunny last night and now feel back on track, calmer and just have to see what happens. Really appreciate the support, thoughts and experiences.... it has helped to calm the crazy! Thank you again 😘 Fingers crossed that this is a resilient one and nestles in despite the drama!🤞 x

[Littlepeax in reply to Wishful199]

Hi lovely, congrats on being PUPO and getting this far!! Give yourself a break, the entire experience is extremely stressful especially with the thaw of your other little embie and lubion nightmare. Sounds like you are coping better then I would have done 🥰 be proud of yourself. IVF is super stressful but still can be very successful so don't worry too much about stress. ❤️💫 huge good luck to you xxx

[Wishful199 in reply to Littlepeax]

Thank you so much 😘 I think I just got myself in a pickle. I really thought it had worked last time so hadn’t fully prepared for having to do it again and then when one embryo didn’t make it I just felt that horrible sense of ‘counting down’ and I think it put me into panic mode. Feel calmer and more resigned today. Really appreciate your kind words x

[Littlepeax in reply to Wishful199]

❤️💫❤️

[IvfStruggler]

I always feel I need to respond to posts about stress and successful IVF. My last successful round could not have been more stressful. Everything was bad; I was living with my dad who has mental health issues, undertaking a really difficult study and I nearly got fired from my job and had to sit through awful meetings to keep it. On top of that I found out after the trigger that I kept the medicine in a draw (it was warm) while it had to be kept in the fridge. I was in a state and convinced it wouldn't work. I got no updates on embryos so on the way to the clinic I was expecting a call that all had failed. When they said there was something to transfer when I sat in the hospital bed I cried so hard. Then I spent 9 month in absolutely terror expecting to miscarry. But against all expectations she is now 10 weeks old.

Both my ivf clinic and reoccurring miscarriage clinic said that there no scientific evidence that stress affects your chances. Good luck!! Xx

[Wishful199 in reply to IvfStruggler]

Oh my goodness, that makes my bad day seem so trivial. I am so sorry you had that all going on on top of IVF and I totally understand pregnancy anxiety too. It sucks! I am so glad that despite everything it was successful for you and congratulation on your beautiful little lady 💗. Thank you so much for replying, these messages really have helped x

[Twiglet2]

I’m sorry you had so much stress on transfer day That’s the last thing you need, especially with all the emotions and hormones raving already 😢 the good news is it’s all done now and you can relax and you are right it won’t make any difference to the success as the wee embryo will just be starting to snuggle in now that you are nice and relaxed. Wishing you all the luck in the world xxx

[Wishful199 in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you. I felt much calmer yesterday... whats done is done I guess. Just got to hope and now resist the obsessive symptom spotting! x

[Fruitandflowers]

Sorry the transfer was stressful but please don't worry about the stress itself impacting implantation - I had the most stressful time around my first FET and after, mostly work related but also some personal stuff, plus my clinic forgot to tell me my progesterone test results so I was late upping my meds and then the delivery company messed up so I missed doses. I was so upset and had pretty much written off that transfer. But that's the one that worked. If you can relax a bit I'm the 2ww that's probably best, but I wasn't able to for various reasons and was doing work all-nighters and trying to refurbish a house, and it made no difference to the outcome x

[Wishful199 in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Oh my goodness, that does sound like so much stress! So glad it didn’t effect anything for you ❤️ Thank you so much for replying x