Feeling sad at a birth announcement

[Bex2]

Hey, I feel guilty that I feel sad at a birth announcement I've seen over the weekend. It's not really someone close to me but she is my beautician and I've spoken of my journey with her and now I'm not sure how I'll cope going back there. I'm so happy for her of course but feel a bit sad too, we're just waiting for the go ahead for our next cycle. We've had 3 cycles so far, 1 chemical, 1 cancelled round and then a bfn. Feel so guilty I feel this way. Wish things were easier sometimes x

[Sparks123]

It happens to all of us going through this gruelling situation. I was talking to my father and he was saying you need to find ways to help remove the trigger elements which make you this way.. tbh I don’t even know it’s just super frustrating.. like your doing everything but it’s just not happening. I would take some time away from her and then when your ready go back to her but maybe nudge in to let her know your happy for her but need breathing space. If it’s too difficult best thing is to find another person..

[MrsOrangejuice]

Sad is normal - it's your natural reaction when reminded of something you haven't got yet and all the pain that goes with it. No need to feel guilt on top of that. It's a weird one because you can be happy for someone else and sad for yourself at the same time. But if seeing her or her updates is too much right now, step away. If she knows what you've been going through hopefully she won't be offended, and she's probably so wrapped up in everything that's going on she won't even notice. If you can reset your thoughts so you see her announcement in a positive light - like, how lovely for her and that will be me soon - then great. But that's difficult and if it's triggering maybe just try and focus on your own situation as that's probably enough to deal with for now.

[Hopingtobecomeamummy]

Hi Bex, like others have said, we have all been there. Announcements are just reminders of what you long for but can’t see to have. I deleted social media and this helped massively. Perhaps that’s something you could consider. Also we had 4 rounds of IVF and a miscarriage and I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant. Miracles do happen. Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel the things you do. Don’t feel guilty at your emotional response to things, it’s all part of it. I remember my hairdresser telling me she couldn’t believe how quickly she fell pregnant after stopping the pill and I just sat there with a fake smile on my face but inside I was crying. People that haven’t experienced infertility are naturally insensitive because they can’t possibly understand. Wishing you the world of luck.

[Rain415]

The amount of people I have took a break from on social media because of annoucments and kid updates is a hell of a lot. You have to protect yourself during this time and if that's taking a bit of a break from her being your beautician then that's what's best for you. Wishing you all the luck for your next cycle x

[MAPB]

Guilt is one of the many terrible parts of this and you know if it was a friend of yours you’d be telling them they should never feel guilty for feeling upset when other ppl just walk into something you are struggling so much with. It’s just easier said than done when it’s you. I’m really struggling at the moment, a friend of mine is about to pop, she’s 6 mo. older and it worked first time. Lucky her, I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. But it hurts a lot too and I’m sure of the roles were reversed she would feel exactly the same way as we all do xxx

[Bex2]

Thank you for your replies, it helps to know I'm not my own. So rubbish we have to go through this and things can't be easier 😞 xx

[HollyT7]

for me, it will always be rubbish, even though we've been blessed I feel it's the unfairness of it all, how we have to fight tooth and nail, go through loss, emotional trauma and the majority of the time, still not know if we will end up with a baby. For others, it seems like they blink and they happen to get pregnant. Don't be hard on yourself about it, things that happen shape how we feel and we didn't choose fertility issues ❤️❤️