***Sensitive *** pre viability anxiety - Fertility Network UK

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***Sensitive *** pre viability anxiety

kelsbels88 profile image
19 Replies

Hi all you lovely lot!

We have been trying to conceive for over 5yrs, we started our ivf in October and miraculously got our bfp. I am now approximately 7wks pregnant (still sounds weird ) however my viability scan is on Friday and I am now having a little mental spiral. Did anyone else have this little anxiety attack? This is the first time ever that I’ve seen those lines and tbh I’m petrified what this scan may show. I try and catch the thoughts before they go too far and stay positive as at present I know nothing different than all is well. But I also try not to be too positive incase it’s a different outcome. Just really hard juggling all the emotions and the progesterone probably ain’t helping much lol 😂

Just having a moment 🙈

Thank you and any advise would be appreciated 😊

Ps I’m doing the mindful ivf app each night to try and help 😉

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kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88
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19 Replies
soccerkt6 profile image
soccerkt6

Hi lovely

Congratulations on your bfp! I can imagine the anxiety in the run up to the viability scan is really hard... I don't have any specific advice but sending you a big hug.

My only bit of advice is about what you said about not letting yourself be too positive... As my acupuncturist says, let yourself enjoy pregnancy when you have success! If you get bad news at some point, you won't feel any less devastated if you've spent the pregnancy "hedging" your excitement than if you've let yourself be positive. So let yourself be excited about this lovely news - you deserve it.

Fingers crossed for a good scan on Friday and an easy and uneventful pregnancy! xxx

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88 in reply to soccerkt6

Hi thank you! It’s been a long time coming and I’m slowly realising how fickle it can be having never been in this position before just how quickly it could all change.

I am trying to enjoy it as from articles I’ve read it will be highly unlikely that it’s my fault if it doesn’t work and we get bad news.

Thank you so much 😊

Chiefy profile image
Chiefy

Welcome to scanxiety, it's worse than the tww. I also had a complete meltdown at 9 weeks and ended up booking a private scan then, and again at 16 weeks, and a third at around 24 weeks!

Believe me, uou are not alone in this panic!

You have to keep telling yourself that right now you are pregnant and enjoy the moment, otherwise you will end up tying yourself in knots.

Congratulations on your bfp x

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88 in reply to Chiefy

Haha scanxiety! I’m using that from now on!! Omg 😱 it really is far worse than the 2ww and I didn’t (obviously) get that before getting a positive test. Now I second guess everything. I only drink decaf anyway as I have endo (which has been removed for now) but I do like a cola cola so have been having that as my allocation of caffeine on the odd occasion I drink it but I don’t have any other caffeine on those days 🙈 it spins you in circles!

Thank you so much x

MrsOrangejuice profile image
MrsOrangejuice

Yes, so much so that I booked a private scan at short notice at 6 weeks. Not a great idea as there's every chance you can't see much at that stage anyway but I just wanted to know the bad news sooner if that's what it was. It was fine and the relief is incredible. Then I booked another private scan at 9 weeks, then had NHS 12 week, then another private at 16wks... anyway you can see that the way I dealt with my 'scanxiety' (love that term from one of the previous replies btw) was to keep on having scans as it gives me relief, even for a week or so. I try to think positive thoughts and tell myself the odds are in my favour, but I a nervous wreck before each one and hold my breath waiting for bad news. I really hope yours goes well x

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88 in reply to MrsOrangejuice

Thank you for replying!

I know I’ve stolen this phrase too, it’s brill!

I have kinda been doing the same being positive whilst I don’t know any different. It’s hard though as someone diagnosed with anxiety. I’m lots better at stopping it before it goes too far now. Maybe I’ll have to see if hubby will sneak in some mid time scans lol 😂 xx

MrsOrangejuice profile image
MrsOrangejuice in reply to kelsbels88

I've just checked and I wasn't even 6 weeks I was 5 and a bit! Oh dear, apparently I have scanxiety denial too...

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks

Hi lovely, the anxiety is real! I was absolutely convinced that at every scan they weren’t going to see anything. That some how the baby had just gone. Madness I know and I felt like that up to about 15 weeks!! I had extra scans too because of bleeding.I just kept telling myself over and over that there was no reason that things won’t be progressing normally. I got my husband to do the same.

It’s completely normal to feel so anxious and worried about it when you’ve been waiting for so long for this miracle, but truly, unless they say otherwise you are pregnant and it’s growing in your uterus. Congratulations!! Xxx

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88 in reply to Millbanks

Thank you so much for replying, how are you doing?

It’s a bit much isn’t it!? Not helped by the fact that my work are short staffed due to C19 and I’m having to bubble because I’m

Classed as high risk being an ivf pregnancy don’t know why anyway. I think I was doing ok but my only symptom, sore boobs, seem to not be so sore anymore and now I’m starting to doubt and overthink. I am trying to enjoy it as we’ve never been in this position before it’s hard and hubby and I keep disagreeing on when to tell ppl. He want to tell parents this weekend when we see them but I’m just so unsure but hate lying? Any thought, when/how did you do it if you don’t mind me asking?

Thank you 😊

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply to kelsbels88

I’m good thank you! Finally starting to believe that it’s real…. 💓Try to remember that symptoms come and go a lot! There were some days I could have sworn I was no longer pregnant and some days I felt I definitely was… as your body gets used to the rising levels of hormones you’ll feel less one day, then more the next. Completely normal 👍🏼

We had a family party the weekend before our viability scan and it was sooooo hard not saying anything to them… but it was the right call because as soon as we’d had it I felt infinitely more comfortable… I told my sister when we got the positive though as we’re really close. I think whatever you feel ok with is fine.

I was desperate to tell everyone and my husband still hadn’t told some of his friends as he finds it so hard to talk about xxx

Zbez88 profile image
Zbez88

Hi congratulations on your bfp, yes the anxiety is real! I wish mine stopped at the viability scan but I'm nearly 20 weeks now and still have it, I've had my viability scan, my 12 week scan and 3 private scans so far for reassurance, I have my 20 week scan next week. I haven't felt the baby move or kick yet so I'm hoping once he starts it will put my mind at ease! I hope your scan goes well xx

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88 in reply to Zbez88

Thank you for taking the time to reply 😊

I know things can still go wrong after tomorrow but I’m hoping it eases my mind for a little while. I may look into a couple of private scans in the future. Thank you so much and good luck with your scan, will you find out what you’re having? X

Zbez88 profile image
Zbez88 in reply to kelsbels88

Thank you, I already know what I'm having I found out at 16 weeks, it's a little boy 😀 x

Loveheart6 profile image
Loveheart6

I too felt so nervous for that first scan. I had it at 6 weeks and then another at 8. I didn’t enjoy it at all because of the anxiety. Just trust that pregnancy test and do a few more if it helps you. I felt really ill like my body was fighting to not be pregnant .. at times I was convinced I was going to miscarry… horrific back pain etc but all has been well so far and I’m 10 weeks. Still won’t feel calmer until 12 tho! Sending love

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88 in reply to Loveheart6

Hi I get a little back pain on and off and sometimes get an achy pulling feeling where I imagine my ovaries are but like everyone I’m just guessing everything lol. I mentioned above I have been on so far only having sore boobs but even they don’t hurt as much now. Everything is a guessing game 🤦🏼‍♀️ Lots of luck and thank you for replying xx

Loveheart6 profile image
Loveheart6 in reply to kelsbels88

Thinking of you and really hope things go ok x

Congratulations! Wow what a load of emotion you must be feeling after 5 years!!! It’s normal to be so worried. Just keep doing what you’re doing. After an MC a year ago and a failed transfer this year I was very negative before I got my BFP and then on the same worry road that you’re on. Just try and keep doing what you’re doing. And just remember, with each week that goes by the chance of anything going wrong drops. The viability scan will come around soon 🤞🤞🤞

Bella_Bee profile image
Bella_Bee

Yup! I even posted about it. Was losing my mind. I felt better after the post. And after speaking to a couple of friends who kindly listened to me rave on about my fears. I'd managed to stay relatively detached up until a couple of days before the viability scan. Having had previous miscarriages my expectations were at rock bottom and I didn't dare dream. But I wasn't really fooling anybody and the anxiety kicked my butt in the end.. You know this but there is nothing you can do. If it's bad news you'll turn the corner eventually like you always do. If it's good news, the joy (and relief) will feel like your heart is expanding. You've only got 24 more hours to go. Take a friend for lunch, start a new netflix series, go shopping, have a hair cut, go for a swim, cook a really long and complex meal, batch cook for the week or watch porn and have a lot of sex. It's only 24hrs. It will drag but soon you'll be on the other side. Wishing you a strong heartbeat! 🍀🤞😘

zzko21 profile image
zzko21

Congratulations enjoy 😊 just be positive

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