Heart broken, 6 week miscarriage, time to give up?

[Acoulson91]

After 2 failed IVF cycles, on our third and final round (paid for a multicycle 3 round package) we got our miracle positive pregnancy test. We were over the moon, we told our parents who all cried happy tears. But after an intense week of on and off spotting, I got pains and heavier bleeding on Thursday and the early pregnancy unit asked me to come in for a scan. We sat anxiously in the waiting room, watching women with their new born babies walk by, praying that would be us soon. Then the scan confirmed my worst fears. There was nothing in my uterus, we've lost our miracle baby. For the last year I have been reading posts on this forum from incredibly strong women, who endure this time and time again. But after 2 failed cycles and a miscarriage I just feel destroyed. I don't think I could do this again. Where do you find the strength to just keep going? Right now I feel numb. Like nothing matters. Going back to a job I don't enjoy and just doesn't matter anymore. Every day life doesn't matter anymore. I can't bring myself to talk to our families. Everything just feels so hopeless.

[Fertilityjourney]

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's devestating. Take time to cry and look after yourself and maybe book in a counselling session if your clinic offer this as I think that would be helpful.Take one day at a time and maybe have a chat with your clinic when you feel up to it and you can explore next steps and make any decisions (or not) from there.

Sending you a big hug. Xxx

[MissSaoPaulo]

I'm so sorry hon, so heartbreaking for you and your family. Each of us has our own breaking point, it's different for everybody when we finally say enough is enough, but don't jump into decisions right now. You've suffered a loss and you need to give yourself time to grieve your baby and your dreams for them.Sending big hugs xxx

[WeeJacs]

I’m so sorry for your loss 😥this is the most soul destroying journey. Each of us has our own breaking point. We’ve had 5 attempts and 2 miscarriages. Take some time to grieve and look after each other. We’ve not had our happy ending yet but after some time away we’ve decided to try again. It’s amazing how strong u become. Take a holiday but take 1 day at a time xx

[Boo718]

Huge hugs to you. I totally get how you are feeling. We have had 2 negatives and now just this week a chemical pregnancy. It’s so difficult to keep going. But I take some comfort in the fact that our little one implanted this time and we got to hear the word positive. Take some time. If you don’t want to speak to family and friends speak to a councillor I honestly think I wouldn’t have the strength if I hadn’t spoken to one. We are all here for you any time xxx

[Maisie234]

There are just no words and I know exactly how you feel. It's the hardest blooming journey. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Like you I had two failed cycles then at Xmas 2020 I had the miracle positive. There was no heartbeat at the scan and I had to have surgery. That was my breaking point, I could not have done it one more time if you paid me. After some time out , a little counseling by myself during the pandemic, we moved to donor eggs. I just needed a gaurantee at the next time. Both beans stuck and I'm in no way out the woods but at least I'm further than I've even been. Everyone's choice is different, and there are options, whatever you decide, I promise you will be ok. You will get there. I am sure of it, it just takes a bit of time. Do something nice for yourself just now and do the grieving. I'm glad you have family for support. Xx

[Beatrix_K]

I’m so sorry 😞 IVF sucks. I hope you find the strength to speak to someone - doesn’t have to be family right now . As someone has already said you have managed to get pregnant once and can do it again. But you need to look after yourself now and grieve and take time out. Xx

[AuroraXen]

Really sorry to hear this Lovely. Your words made me cry 😢 So heartbreaking for you all. I don't know why we have to go through so much when others don't... it's very hard to make any sense of. I'm not surprised that you're struggling to find purpose in life right now... sometimes life is just about surviving not thriving. Taking things one day at a time until it hurts a bit less. The only silver lining I can give you is that your body knows how to get pregnant, and can do so again, I'm sure. Sending lots of love xx

[Fizzbip]

I'm sorry for your loss 😢. The same thing happened to me - 3 failed transfers and then a miscarriage with my last embryo. Absolutely gutting.

[Rain415]

I'm so sorry this happened. After everything you have been through and on your last cycle it just isn't fair. It will get easier and then when it does you can start looking forward and making decisions. But right now it's fine to just grieve and not have a plan yet. X

[try2020]

What heartbreaking news, I am so sorry that this has happened, I have no words but I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs xx

[xIVFWarriorx]

So so sorry for your loss love. I know exactly how you feel, I’ve just had my first miscarriage last week. Before my BFP, I felt like if my first cycle didn’t work then I would be fine to continue on. We’ve been told to wait a few months before starting our next cycle, but in all honesty I don’t know if I can go through that again. My husband and I haven’t told anyone other than my extremely understanding bosses (only when I was miscarrying) about our IVF journey, so our families aren’t aware that we were pregnant which probably makes things easier in one way but harder in another. I guess you just need to take some time to be kind to yourself, and if you ever feel like you’re strong enough to try again then you do it. Wishing you all the luck in the world!!

[Hidden]

I am so sorry to read this, sending you the hugest hug. Can you see about getting some counselling? Remember miscarriage is a bereavement so you will need to grieve and have every right to feel all the emotions you are feeling. The first days are the darkest but (and its the biggest cliche) it does get easier I promise, and you do start to find things to look forward to again. Take some time, don't bottle things up, and rant all you want on here. Sending lots of love xx

[JuliaDwijanti]

It's seems like same story with me few months before. And right now we decided to stop seeing doctor for having natural process. But it keeps failing. I don't know what to do I won't give up even though my age already reached 44 this year. I never try IVF . I'm paranoid in advance. Is it working at 40 to be pregnant without doctor's help? I already have first child and now she's 12 yo in first married and I love her so much. But I want have second with my present married

[FrancyItaly]

I’m so sorry for your loss, I can totally understand how you feel. With my first miscarriage I was so uninterested in anything, I even left my job. It is ok to feel this way, with time it will get easier and you might find the strength to try again. Sending you a big hug and pm me if you want to talk to someone xx

[JenRoy]

It’s awful. I had a missed miscarriage picked up at our viability scan. We were devastated. It was our first donor egg cycle and we were so excited when we got a BFP. But it wasn’t to be. I too feel really down about it all. But a week away and talking about it with close friends has helped. Sending hugs xx

[Acoulson91 in reply to JenRoy]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. It's the most devastating thing to find out after such good news. And feels so unfair. It actually turns out with me they missed an ectopic pregnancy. I was told I miscarried before they got any bloods back. The blood hcg continued go increase, and I was in alot of pain, 10 days later, with daily trips to the hospital being poked and prodded, they finally found an ectopic pregnancy on the scan and I had to be taken straight to surgery to remove my left fallopian tube. I honestly feel destroyed.

[JenRoy in reply to Acoulson91]

So sorry to hear that. Ectopic pregnancies are so hard to pick up but are such a cruel & unfair thing to happen. It’s so sad and shit. Nothing else can describe it. I hope you recover physically as smoothly as possible. And can focus on your mental health. Look after yourself and it’s ok to despair xx