Hi guys, just writing this down to get it off my head. I've been lay awake since 5am so decided to do a pregnancy test.
(I'm 9 days post fresh egg day 3 transfer first ever cycle) was supposed to wait until 23rd but my mind was just racing. I've been totally open throughout, quite negative actually self sabotaging thinking I knew all along it would be a BFN!! Over analysing every cramp, I've had sore boobs, last night my mind played tricks on me and I had a metal taste in my mouth, all along the slightest hint of excitement I feel has been instantly crushed with my negativity, but now I'm glad I was preparing myself.
I've done the test and know it is negative (I used first response 6day early test) I feel numb. I didn't cry, I just came back to bed and been sat up fidgeting ever since.
I feel angry, all this time putting myself through this ordeal with the injections, the pessaries, the invasive procedures, for nothing.
I'm really struggling to stay strong, my dog has surgery booked tomorrow to remove a cancerous mass and I feel like I've been locking all that emotion up trying to stay focused on the 2ww, and now it's over I just feel like everything's crashing down on me 💔
I'm also struggling with such a strange symptom I can't keep off the toilet (sorry TMI) and thought it was nerves, but have developed a seriously itch bum and it's driving me INSANE!!
Anyway rant over 😑
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Flossybubble
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Sorry to hear about your negative test. I don’t want to give you any false hope, but do remember it’s still early days & you really need to wait until your OTD for the final result.
Remember you are currently taking progesterone, which can really mess with your mind/emotional state. It makes me absolutely batshit crazy to the point where my partner wrote notes on the bathroom door saying “remember it’s the progesterone” to stop me freaking out. It affects my sleep, makes weepy, & sends my brain into over drive. Demon drug.
Try to do stuff over the next few days to help you escape - whether that’s watching Netflix, throwing yourself into a work project or some kind of mindfulness activity like colouring in. Easier said than done (I know, I’m terrible in the 2ww). Wishing you lots of luck & sending lots of love. Xxx
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I feel guilty for not being upset, like why have I not cried? Maybe it's not sunk in. My moods are always up and down anyway before pregesterone so I'm used to being wobbly. I feel like it would definitely be positive by now, my body just feels like it needs a period to get it all over, maybe then it will sink in.Thanks again for your kind words xx
Hi lovely, so sorry to hear your BFN - it's never easy.We go through so much to get to transfer, and then the 2ww flies by with nothing to show - it's heartbreaking. Keep taking the meds and see what happens on OTD - you never know.
I hope your dog's surgery goes well - my cat broke his leg recently and it was the most stressful time ever, trying to cope with IVF too. xx
Thank you, it is alot, I feel like I've been trying to bottle everything up, and now with this stupid intmate itch that's popped up I just feel its the straw that broke the camels back.Have been given anusol to try if that helps 🤔
Hope your cats doing ok now.
I prey my little man recovers quickly after his op fingers crossed 🤞xx
Hi lovely, I hope your dog's op went well and he's recovering. Thank you - luckily my kitty is pretty much healed up now - it was very traumatic at the time though..
Hope you've been able to feel a bit better today xx
Hi millbanks, yesterday was one of the most traumatic days of my life! My dog had his op, he had 5 lumps removed, 2 of which were confirmed mast cell tumors.
When I collected him I just was NOT prepared for the horror of all his wounds and how big they were! They were all bloody and like frankinstine scars. They have to take big margins to try and remove all the cancer.
I just broke down. I haven't slept, and neither has he, he's eaten but won't drink. I feel like I can't cope with the overwhelming feeling of anxiety over panic about him being in pain, his stitches coming open, my mi d is just racing and I feel constantly sick to my stomach.
It's made me feel this is why I had a negative pregnancy test, maybe nature knew I just couldn't cope with this.
Oh love, I'm sorry - that's so stressful. But it's good news that they've removed so much - they clearly want to be very sure that they have it all. I know the wounds look scary but they WILL heal - animals are so resilient! He will be on lots of meds so not in pain, and what he really needs is your love - it will get him through. It'll probably take him time to get his appetite / thirst back, but you can syringe water in to his mouth if you need to. It is a lot to cope with, but you are strong - and you'll get through it. Just take it one day at a time, in a few weeks you'll look back and wont' be able to believe how far he's come.
I would try gently syringing some water in to his mouth. Just a little at a time. Also, if he has wet food try adding water to that too, so he is at least getting some liquid.His scars will heal for sure - they may weep a bit, but as long as they aren't swollen or smelling horrible, they should be fine xx
Hi Flossybubble. If you haven't tested on the daay recommended by your clinic, then carry on with any prescribed medication and retest on the correct day. Thinking of you. Diane
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I used to be a veterinary nurse and have seen lots of good doggos recover from horrible operations - hang in there! It'll get better xx
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